Every day I experience this revelation multiple times without warning
Then that, that’s when you first let me in with no boundaries; all the walls taken down. You trusted me with something no one else will ever know about, I’ll never forget that. You were terrified as I held you in my arms; your eyes wide and shining with fear of the truth coming from your fumbling lips. Your fingers grasped tightly to my shirt and I don’t believe you noticed just how white your knuckles became. I didn’t know what to say to your words so I held you closer, tighter. I wanted to protect you from the nightmares in your mind, make them all disappear so those horrid thoughts could stop hibernating inside of you.
This here, it’s got to be a favourite. It’s when you stood underneath the lamppost with the light shining down like a halo. You held me real close and whispered those words into my ear for the first time. At first I pulled back slightly, surprised and a little unbelieving that you had said them. When I saw the look of hurt in your eyes I couldn’t pull you back to me fast enough, uttering those three words over and over again between rushed kisses. I don’t think I can fully express how hearing those words make me feel as though I am soaring.
Uh, this one, that’s when we- you know, the first time we- well, you know. Neither of us had any idea what the hell we were doing and I was so worried over messing it up. But you were there, god you were right there holding my hand the whole way through it and we discovered how well our bodies worked together. It was like magic. The way your touch sets off this want inside of me where I can’t ever get enough is something I will never be used to.
What? Oh, that one. I tend to stay away from that, it’s not really one I enjoy. It’s from the fight; the one where we collectively broke seven plates and three glasses, along with the picture frame that contained the photo of us you were so fond of. We had just finished yelling at each other and it happened right as you stood there in the open door. Your hair was tousled from your fingers repetitively tangling in it, your cheeks blushed from the overwhelming emotions and tears I’m not sure you were aware of stained your skin. The dishes weren’t the only things shattered that night.
Now that, come on you know that one. We barely even got off of our mattress that day. We’d just moved back in to the apartment and hadn’t had time to set up the bed frame yet but we’d get around to it sometime in the next week. The sun was spilling in through the window and illuminating your skin, causing it to glow as you lay in the tangled sheets. Your eyes were sparkling like the ocean in the summer when you peeked up to me from behind a pillow. Although we didn’t say a single word throughout the entire day our lingering hands said so much more than our lips ever could. We were familiarizing ourselves again, relishing in something we had thought just for a horrifying moment we’d lost forever.
I know you’re probably wondering why I’m showing you these but I swear I’ll get to the point soon. Remember though that they aren’t the only times, no those would take forever to list and I’m afraid I have a different idea on how we’ll spend our forevers. You see these few moments I’ve collected here are moments of a repeating epiphany. Every day I experience this revelation multiple times without warning; like when you’re leaning half-awake against the counter simply making the morning coffee, or when you toe your shoes off after a long day at work with a sigh, or when you’re just brushing your teeth as you get ready for bed and I meet your eyes in the mirror. Those are the moments when my world stops and it becomes impossible to breathe for a second because it hits me in the chest harder than any amount of weight that I could never live without you.
I’m showing you all of these because I think sometimes things go unspoken for too long. Pieces of memories will begin falling to the ground and maybe we’ll start to forget how passionate our love can be. I don’t ever want to forget what I’ve felt with you, all the wonderful times and the ugly ones too. Because even when it hurts I know it’s only hurting so much because it feels so good when things are right between us. I don’t want you to forget either; never forget how much I love you.
AN: This could be from anyone to/about Spencer (because it’s stated that his eyes were like the ocean) but being the sucker I am for Joncer I originally saw the narrator as Jon. Feel free to believe it was someone else though.
I apologize for the weak-sauce ending half but I couldn’t find a proper way to round it all up and I got a little frustrated with the words. Other than that it was enjoyable to write, although I do wish it was a bit longer. I’ve sincerely missed writing for the last while and I hope to get back into it soon, although ‘soon’ may not be as close to the nearby future as I would prefer it to be. In any case, thank you for reading this and I hope it was enjoyable for you, or at least bearable.
A comment or critique is always welcome so don’t feel shy. While you’re at it, if you’re bored and enjoyed this in the least, maybe check out some of my other stuff and leave a comment there too. (Although my stories tend to be annoyingly similar after a while, so beware)
Thanks again and have a wonderful rest of your life.