Josh feels in over his head :(
I swear to god I lost a shitton of blood, but I don't care. I'm tired of being a depressed loser. I'm tired of people staring at my ugly body...
I'm tired of being fat...
I look over, and notice a scab forming at my wrist. I sigh. My life sucks.
I look down at the tiles, shaking. There's blood all over the floor. I feel bile rise up my throat. I gag, and feel light headed. I quickly clean the tiles, but the blood is not coming off!! Shit!
"Where the fuck is the bactine?!" I scream.
I scrub harder. It's not coming out. I look down at the floor again. There still is red everywhere!! I Am having a fucking panic attack! Or I'm in withdrawal from not having heroin lately.
I am curled up in a corner, shaking. I close my eyes tightly, as I throw up at the sight of my blood.
Great. Another mess to go clean up.
I look down at my blood soaked jeans, which also have my vomit on them. I groan. This is the shittiest day of my life. I hear my mom knock on the door.
"Josh? Can I have a word with you?"
I tense up. I know it's gonna be about my dad.
"One sec mum!" I call as I clean up my blood, and vomit soaked jeans. I grab a hoodie from the hook, and step out, as I quickly close the door.
I look at her, "What's up?"
"Your father is going to be on business for three weeks, so he will not be home. So, I promised I'd keep an eye on you."
Fuck. I didn't see that coming.
"Okaaay," I say trying to convince her I'm fine. It works, she smiles and walks out of my bedroom.
I quickly run back into the bathroom, the smell of metal, and acid making me nauseous. I grab a towel and cover my mouth and nose, as I clean up the floor. An hour later it's clean, and I'm a fucking wreck. I am lying on my bed, shaking like a fucking insane person, with a needle stuck in the crook of my arm. It's like I'm fuckin' Nikki Sixx or something. I pull the needle out of my arm, and dab the blood out on my arm. My head spins, and I collapse on my hands and knees and start to vomit violently.
I fuckin' hate myself...
*Finally! Here is ch 8!!! I love how this is being received!! Xo Jules*