I put my head down on the cool surface of the kitchen table. Beside me, my mom put down her magazine and placed her hand on my back, “You want to talk about it?”
“There’s some pasta on the counter if you want some.” She continued when I didn’t say anything.
I finally looked up at her after a long moment of silence. “I don’t know what to do...”
She sighed, pushing away her empty plate of pasta. “Well, Frank, me either. You haven’t said one word to me all day.” I could hear the worry in her voice. “What’s got you so upset?”
I took a deep breath. She was going to find out eventually, so I might as well tell her now and get it over with. “I kissed Gerard last night.”
She just nodded, and looked at me like I was one of her patients. “What happened?”
“I don’t know... We were just watching a movie and then we started talking about dad.” I paused, meeting her gaze. “I told him what dad did, and then we kissed.”
When she didn’t say anything, I kept talking. “And the worst part was that I actually enjoyed it. I liked kissing him.” I shook my head, fresh tears starting to form. “Then Mikey called, and Gerard just left. To top that, I think Mikey’s mad at me. While we were on the phone, I couldn’t stop thinking about Gerard so I wasn’t listening... and Mikey just hung up on me.”
Without a word my mom wrapped her arms around me. "So what you're trying to tell me is that you don't know if you love Mikey anymore?"
"I--" She was right. I hadn't realized it until just now, but she was right. Maybe I didn't love Mikey anymore... maybe I loved Gerard instead. "What am I supposed to do?"
She smiled, "Well, I would give it a few days. If you don't love him like you thought you did, tell him. I'm sure he'll understand." Shrugging, she added, "Then tell Gerard how you feel. I'm more than sure he feels the same way."
She made it seem so simple, like all.I had to do was walk up to Mikey and say I didn't love him anymore because I was in love with his brother. Who knows, maybe this is just pre-wedding jitters. I could only hope so.
She sat back in her chair picking up her magazine again, "Like I said just give it a few days. Maybe this is just a phase. I'm sure you still love Mikey."
I just nodded. From now on I would just try and focus on Mikey, and completely forget about Gerard. It wouldn't be that hard to pretend the kiss never happened. Besides, I was sure Gerard already had a boyfriend.
My phone rang, bringing me out of my thoughts. Quickly, I sat up on my bed and reached my phone, “Hello?” I asked, answering it.
“I want to apologize.” It was Gerard.
“Oh. Hi, Gerard.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. I’d just spent the better part of my day focusing on all the things I loved about Mikey, just to keep my mind off what happened between Gerard and I last night. I thought about just hanging up, and avoiding him, but I knew I shouldn’t. I didn’t want him to hate me. He was still my friend after all.
There was a long silence on the other end of the line and I was beginning to think he hung up on me. “I shouldn’t have kissed you last night... You’re engaged to my brother.” He sighed. It sounded like saying the words were killing him, like he actually had feelings for me or something... “Besides, Bert is going to kill me.” He fell silent again.
I had no idea who this Bert person was, but I could only assume it was his better half. “No one has to know anything. We can just pretend like it never happened and move on. Everything will go back to normal.”
“I just don’t want you to be mad. It was a mistake and I know that.” I could hear something like defeat in his voice.
“Of course I’m not mad.” There was something that sounded like a sigh on the other line. “Well, I should let you go.” I was just about to hang up when I remembered something. “Oh! Can you tell Mikey that I love him very much?”
“You know I can.” Gerard hung up and left me alone in silence sitting on my bed. I couldn't get Gerard's voice out of my head. He sounded sad, almost like he was wishing that I would say I loved him and that our kiss hadn't been a mistake. I knew it was crazy, I was probably just imagining it.
As hard as I tried, I couldn't keep Gerard out of my mind. Everything reminded me of him. I just wanted Mikey to call me back already and say that everything will okay. As soon as I talked to Mikey I knew all this stuff with Gerard would be out of my mind.
A few hours later, I was still laying on my bed. It wasn't until I heard a knock at my door before I realized what time it was. I looked up just in time to see my mom walk into my room. She sighed, sitting down at the edge of my bed. "Any word from Mikey?"
I shook my head, "Still nothing." I decided to not tell her about Gerard's phone call.
She nodded, "I'm sure he'll call by the end of the weekend." Slowly, she stood up and started heading out of my room. "Don't stay up too late." With a smile she left my room closing the door behind her.
I hoped she was right. All I wanted was to talk to Mikey and get everything sorted out. With every second that passed I missed Mikey more and more. We had never gone this long without talking before. Hell, we'd never really even fought before.
I just wanted my Mikey back. I could only hope that Gerard really would give Mikey my message. Thinking of Gerard brought back memories of our kiss. It was incredible, like nothing I had experienced before. Not even with Mikey.
Here I was again. Thinking about Gerard. It's like no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get him off my mind. It has to be because I miss Mikey so much. God, if Mikey ever found out... I don't want to know how he would react.
A//N: Oh my goodness, guys. I'm so sorry that I haven't posted sooner. I just haven't been writing as much (which means I haven't been writing at all), and it doesn't help that October is pretty busy for me. I promise I'll try and update again soon :) Stay with me! Oh, and thank you, readers and reviewers for, well... reading and reviewing :)