Frank and Taylor fight.
-I never made a scene; they came to me.-
Mikey woke before Frank and Gerard returned. He gave Taylor one last longing glance and then left, sneaking back to his own bedroom.
When Taylor woke she thought she was in bed with Mikey, and for a second everything was okay but then as she cuddled up it was Gerard’s voice that broke her dreams apart. “What the fuck happened to the room Taylor?”
Taylor’s eyes quickly fluttered open and she found that she wasn’t alone with Gerard. Frank was sitting at the end of the bed, glancing around at the room. Gerard was underneath the blankets next to her, and she just felt… dirty. What would Frank think if she got up, and he saw her in the little black dress, which happened to be ripped? It wasn’t professional, not at all.
“Well?” It was Frank that spoke. He glared in to her eyes, wanting to get a rise from her. He wasn’t prepared for Taylor to actually explode on him.
“What do you think fucking happened?” Taylor asked, as she sat up quickly. She was prepared to not give a fuck about her attire but as she glanced down she realized… she was wearing innocent pajamas. Mikey had changed her.
“I don’t know. That’s why we’re fucking asking you.” Frank snapped.
Gerard watched with widened eyes, and it was obvious to Taylor that he hadn’t expected an angry reaction from either party in front of him, and now he just didn’t quite know what to do.
“Get off your ass and look around. It’ll become quite obvious I’m sure, or are you a high school drop-out as all of your useless tattoo’s suggest?” Taylor’s eyes now narrowed, and she was in a fighting mode. She just wanted to argue. She wanted to scream, and she wanted to cry. She hadn’t felt like this since before high school. It was like being 12 all over again, before all of the drama hit her- and before she truly changed, and became what she thought she was. She thought she was strong and in control, but she wasn’t. Just a few weeks with Mikey Way and she was stripped of anything that had ever mattered. Any control she thought she had was gone, and she had fallen too far.
“You’re a fucking bitch!” Frank yelled, as he stood.
Taylor stood as well. “Yeah? Where’d you get that insult from, your box of cheerios? Shut up until you have something worth saying princess.”
“How about this?” Frank got dangerously close to Taylor’s face. They were breathing on each other, neither of them willing to break eye contact. “You’re just a whore- and Gerard is just with you because-“
“Frank!” It was Mikey who spoke, from the doorway. Gerard was still frozen in shock. Taylor was all pumped up and ready to scream until she could scream no more. Frank just wanted to hurt Taylor, and it was obvious to Taylor why- though no one else understood.
“Yes?” Frank was still glaring at Taylor.
“I think you should re-think the direction this conversation is going.” Mikey warned. “And apologize to Taylor, because she doesn’t deserve that shit.”
“No.” Taylor spoke confidently. “I’d much rather hear your reasoning /Frank/.” She wanted him to /say it/.
She wanted Gerard to /get it/.
“I’d much prefer you book your room in hell, rather than here.” Frank replied.
“I’m not sure there’s room for the both of us.” Taylor answered.
Frank shoved Taylor. Taylor shoved Frank. It was like watching small children fight, except they pushed harder.
“Why don’t you just admit your problem?” Taylor hissed.
“My problem is you!” Frank yelled. “You’re only with Gerard because he’s the lead singer of some band. I bet you don’t even listen to our music!” Frank was yelling now.
“Tell the truth Frank.” Taylor stumbled when Frank shoved her again. “You’re just jealous.” Frank’s eyes narrowed. “-Because I’m with Gerard, and you’re not.”
“What?” This time it was Gerard who spoke.
“I’m straight.” Frank responded coldly.
“As a zig-zag.” Taylor muttered under her breath.
“What?” Frank pinned Taylor against the wall. “What the hell did you just say about me?”
Mikey grabbed on to Frank’s arm. “Don’t do anything stupid Frank.” He warned.
Gerard was now standing, but he looked lost.
“You’re gay.” Taylor was loud and clear with her accusation. “- and in love with Gerard.”
“You’re fucking crazy.” Frank hissed.
“You’re lying to him about how you feel.” Taylor replied. “And that’s why you hate me. That’s why you’re so fucking angry with me. You want to hit me, don’t you?” Mikey had let go of Frank’s arm but he was watching him closely.
“Shut up Taylor.” Gerard finally spoke. “Stop trying to piss him off, for fucks sake.”
“Your problem is not my problem.” Taylor informed Frank, as she leaned forward. “So the next time you get in my face I will knock you flat on your fucking ass.”
Frank made a fist with his hand and aggressively swung at Taylor. Mikey moved forward but he wasn’t nearly fast enough. Taylor grabbed Frank’s arm and kneed him in the stomach. As he doubled over she whispered in to his ear, “I know you didn’t mean that, and I’m not mad at you.” Then she shoved him back, flat on his ass.
No one said anything as Taylor stormed from the room. She hadn’t gotten violent with anyone, without reason, in a long time- and it didn’t make her proud. She was quite angry with herself, and all she could think of doing was run.
She thought she made it outside alone until he spoke.
“I think you might need a ride.”
Taylor turned towards Mikey with a sad smile, “I think you’re right.”
Frank was breathing heavily.
Gerard just stared at him. “I need to know.”
“What?” Frank gasped, clutching on to his stomach.
“Are you gay Frank?” Gerard’s lips were trembling. “Was Taylor right?”
“Of course not.” Frank rolled his eyes. “Why the hell would I want you?”
Gerard nodded, “You’re right. Why would you?” The tears had already built up, and now they spilled free.
Frank’s eyes widened, “That’s not what I meant!”
“Save it Frank.” Gerard spit out, “Because as far as I’m concerned this friendship is over. I’m sick of this bullshit. Why don’t you come clean to the rest of the band about why I haven’t ever brought a girlfriend around?”
Frank looked away.
“You scare them all away! You hate them /all/.” Gerard shook his head, “But you never told me why and I never asked. So if Taylor’s wrong then… then your problem is still with me, but it’s not love- and so that makes me think that you hate me. What did I ever do to you? What did Taylor ever do to you?”
Frank took a step towards Gerard but Gerard held out his hands, keeping him in place. “Don’t. You crossed the line when you tried to hit my girlfriend Frank. No, actually… you crossed the line a long time ago; I was just too stupid to say so.”
Frank shook his head, “No, you can’t just- you can’t just call our friendship off. You’re my best friend Gerard.”
“That’s not enough anymore.” Gerard whispered, before leaving Frank alone in the trashed room.
A lot more than that room had been wrecked and they all knew it.
“Are you sure about this?” Mikey asked.
Taylor laughed nervously, “We’re already on the plane. Isn’t it a little too late to ask that?”
“It’s never too late.” Mikey replied softly.
“I think that maybe you were right.” Taylor whispered, as she glanced out the window. The clouds were so real when you were up in the sky. They broke, and fell apart- just like Taylor knew they would, because to her a cloud was nothing more than a heart.
“I think that maybe… maybe I understand why Ryan did it.” She closed her eyes as the pain washed over her. “I think that sometimes the mistakes we make… they are too much to live with.”
Mikey wanted to question her, but he didn’t.
Gerard called Taylor for the 17th time. It went straight to voice-mail. He cursed softly and dialed Mikey, leaving him another voice-mail.
In between calls Gerard continuously pressed the ignore button when Frank called him.
It was a vicious cycle, and things were falling apart.
“It’s right here.” Mikey whispered softly. “Ryan Winchester?”
Taylor stepped forward and glanced down at the grave in front of her. She’d never before come, because she couldn’t handle it. She hadn’t been able to face Ryan’s death- not until now.
It wasn’t until she realized her own mistakes that she could face just how bad mistakes could be, and just how easy it was to drown in them.
“Mikey, I need to tell you some-“ She was cut off by a shrill ringing. “Fuck. I must have accidently turned my phone on during the drive over.” Taylor muttered, as she reached in to her pocket. It was Gerard.
She swallowed hard.
Mikey glanced down, “Are you going to answer?”
“I don’t want to.” Taylor whispered. “I need to tell you something, and it has nothing to do with him.”
“What?” Mikey gazed at Taylor. “You can tell me anything.”
“I made a mistake.” Taylor answered, “A lot of them actually, but this one really hurts.”
Mikey nodded but didn’t interrupt.
“And I never wanted to hurt you.” Taylor swallowed hard, over the lump in her throat. “I really like you Mikey, I really do but-“
The shrill ringing continued and Taylor rolled her eyes. “Just a minute.” She turned and answered her phone, “What Gerard?”
“Where are you?” Gerard sounded tired.
“I’m with Mikey.” It sounded good to say but Taylor knew it wouldn’t last once he knew the truth.
Gerard sighed. “I need you to come back now.”
“I’ll triple the pay.”
Taylor paused, “I- You never told me about Frank.”
“I didn’t know.” Gerard replied softly.
“Bullshit.” Taylor whispered. Mikey had wandered a few steps away, but she was still wary of him overhearing her. “Because you return his feelings!”
Gerard took a second before replying, “I do like him, and I always have but- but he doesn’t like me Taylor.”
“He doesn’t.” Gerard’s tone went cold, “And you’re my girlfriend, not Mikey’s- so get your ass back here now. I need you, and I need you now.”
Taylor hung up.
It wasn’t over- not yet.
“What were you going to tell me?” Mikey asked.
“I just really like you.” Taylor lied, “But I can’t be with you because I love Gerard.” The words were painful to say, but the look on Mikey’s face hurt even more.