Gia was convinced that in one year, she had managed to ruin her entire life. How the hell was she ever going to get to a college when her grades were so ridiculously low? Of course, no one else seemed to agree with her on how majorly she had wrecked her future. They were a few months into the school year, and Halloween was just around the corner. And while everyone else was going nuts about the school’s Halloween party and about all the candy and pumpkins and shit, Gia barricaded herself in her bedroom and got buried in books and notebooks.
“Gia,” Lucas said one day, sitting on a bright purple beanbag chair in her room. Gia had her books spread around the floor as she was going through her notes from class and trying to finish her homework. “This is ridiculous. Let’s go out already!”
She practically had steam coming out of her ears. Gia looked funny when she was angry, Lucas thought. Her cheeks got red and her nostrils flared, the same way Gerard’s did when he was pissed off (and trust me, that guy was hardly ever NOT angry these days). In the few months that Gia and Lucas had been together, Gerard had steadily gotten closer and closer to the point of explosion.
“I can’t go out,” Gia snapped. “I have to finish this by tomorrow. You should be working too! You have homework! Where are your books, Lucas?!”
Lucas rose abruptly from the beanbag chair, and before she could slam a textbook on his lap and force him to study, he said: “You know, I think I’ll wait downstairs for you to finish. Come down when you’re done, okay?”
He slipped out of the room before she could say a word. Maybe it was better that way, because the words that she was about to say to him were not very polite ones.
Lucas stomped down the stairs to the living room, which was supposed to be empty. Gerard, Lindsey and Bandit had been all napping when Gia and Lucas got out of school, but of course, with Lucas’ luck, Gerard had woken from his beauty sleep and was now sitting in the living room.
“I didn’t know you were here,” Gerard said the second he saw the boy enter the room. “Were you in my daughter’s room? Were you two bringing shame to my family name?”
Lucas sighed, plopping down on the couch next to the possibly homicidal man. Gerard’s face was beginning to be as red as his hair. “No, you can relax. She’s doing her homework. Again.”
“Shouldn’t you go home, then?” Gerard asked, sounding hopeful. Any minute spent with that boy was a minute of pure pain and torture to his perfectly innocent soul.
“Nah, we’re going to go pick up our Halloween costumes after she’s done with homework. All she ever does is homework.”
“Good,” Gerard grunted, crossing his arms, trying to look menacing. “Less time for... Other things. Don’t you know that I know what you’re thinking about, you sick little fuck?”
“Dude, what do you think they’re gonna do?” Frank asked, emerging from the kitchen with a bowl of ice cream. “They’re kids. When we were kids, all we did was read comics and sit around in our parents’ basements.”
“What are you doing in my house?” Gerard shot back at him, not knowing the guitarist, too, was in his home. Should he stop taking naps to make sure Ray didn’t throw a house party while he was unconscious?
“We were out of ice cream! And Jamia threw me out because I want to dress up Lily and Cherry as berries for Halloween and she didn’t agree. Cherry would make the cutest cherry, right? It’s like... destiny.” Frank plopped down on the couch between them and started devouring the ice cream. “Anyway, back on topic,” he continued with a mouth full of disgusting melting ice cream. “They’re good kids.”
“Lily and Cherry?”
Frank laughed loudly, nearly choking on the mouthful of dessert. “No! Those two? Please, how could my kids possibly be good? I mean, the other day Lily bit a woman in the street and I swear she meant it. That’s my girl. But no, I meant Gia and Lucas. They’re not like those oversexed Hollywood teens you see on TV. Right Lucas?”
Lucas now had both of these men staring at him, expecting an answer. And while the trail of melted ice cream and rainbow sprinkles that was decorating Frank’s chin made him look nothing short of ridiculous, Gerard looked stern enough for the both of them. “Yeah of course not. We’re good.”
“See, there you go,” Frank said with a large smile. Obviously he assumed the matter was settled, because he picked up the remote control and said: “I wonder if Jersey Shore is on?” When Gerard and Lucas both stared at him like he’d gone insane (I mean, more insane than he already was), Frank explained matter-of-factly: “I watch it for the fashion tips. Don’t hate.”
On October 31st, Gia had abandoned her books for one night due to peer-pressure, and had agreed to put on the costume Lucas had practically forced her to get. She would’ve been more than ready to scrap the whole idea of going anywhere on Halloween, but, as it was, she had already promised.
So, with Bandit running around her room, dressed as the cutest little dinosaur ever, making adorable roaring screams. The girl had already furiously attacked two of Gia’s beanbag chairs, wrecked at least one book from the bookshelf, remains of which she had hidden under Gia’s bed when she thought no one was looking, and devoured an entire bag of marshmallows, which in hindsight was not a good idea because of all the sugar.
“You look so hot,” Hazel said from the the bed where she was laying on her side. She was dressed as a slutty devil with the trident and everything. “Lucas such a geek, he is gonna wet his panties when he sees you. He’s gonna want to fuck you before we even get to the party.”
Gia shot her a sharp look. “Don’t talk like that in front of Bandit! She already cusses like a sailor, and Linds said that if she learns any more foul language, she’ll murder dad.”
Bandit climbed on the bed with much difficulty, as the green t-rex costume was a bit baggy on her, and asked Hazel innocently: “What’s fuck mean?”
“See?!” Gia exclaimed. “Bandit, it’s a very bad word. Don’t repeat it in front of mommy, okay?”
Bandit remembered that she was actually a terrible monster now, and roared an answer which Gia took as a positive response. The toddler jumped off the bed, landed on the beanbag chair next to it, and ran out of the room, roaring and growling as she went. Gia didn’t have much time to be relieved, though, because pretty soon the monster noises had switched to a loud repeating of the word ‘fuck’, which was followed by Lindsey screaming her head off at Gerard, which she was still doing when Gia and Hazel left to the party.
The Halloween costume party at the school was everything you’d expect. The gym where it was being held was dim, there were fake spiderwebs, fluorescent skeletons, pumpkins, the snacks were very Halloween-themed, and of course every other girl in the room was dressed like the slutty version of whatever they were trying to portray.
Hazel scoffed as another girl dressed as a slutty devil passed them. “No imagination! Honestly. And I’ve seen like fifteen sexy pirates tonight. And we just got here!”
Gia decided not to mention the fact that Hazel had been debating between sexy devil and sexy pirate as well. “Do you see Lucas anywhere?” she asked her as they started to head towards the table with all the drinks.
“No. What is he dressed as again?”
Before Gia could reply, she spotted someone else. Things with Janie had been pretty awkward. They sat next to each other in history class, but they hadn’t spoken. “Look at her,” Gia said, sighing. “I feel like I should be dressed as the devil.”
“Would you let it go? She stole Lucas first! And besides, it doesn’t look like she’s exactly pining over him,” Hazel pointed out when Janie started to dance with some guy from the football team. “Damn, that guy’s pretty hot. Hey, do you think -”
“Please don’t have sex with any guy she’s interested in. I feel bad enough for her as it is.”
“Wait, does that include guys I’ve already had sex with? Because in a way, I’ve already marked them as my territory.”
Gia shook her head, “I don’t know and please let’s stop talking about this. Soda?”
Hazel gave her a somewhat pitying look, and dug out a flash from her purse. “I’m not a soda person, you know that.”
“She’s alone now!”
Hazel rolled her eyes and didn’t even bother looking at what Gia was pointing at. “Honestly, nothing you can do about it. Let the girl be. Stop feeling guilty.”
“Who’s guilty about what?” Lucas asked, wrapping his arms around Gia’s waist and giving her a kiss on the cheek. He actually looked very cute in the green Link outfit he had had made for himself, and he even had the ears and everything. This whole costume thing had been Lucas’ idea, Gia didn’t really care for it. So she had been forced to dress up as Zelda even though she had never even played the games.
“Please tell your girlfriend to stop whining,” Hazel said. “She wants to get Janie laid.”
“No I don’t! I just... She looks so lonely. And it’s my fault. I shouldn’t even be here. Life is such pain. Lucas, we should get her a boyfriend! Lucas? Are you listening to me?”
Hazel scoffed with a sly grin on her face. “Are you kidding me? He probably can’t hear a thing with all his brain blood in his boner.”
Lucas, who had been staring at Gia’s Zelda outfit with a dreamy look on his face, snapped out of it when she slapped his arm. “Stop objectifying me!” she cried and stormed off.
“Is she on her period?” Lucas asked Hazel before following his obviously upset girlfriend.
Hazel sighed, shaking her head. “Men. Such simple creatures.”
“Huh?” The vacant, confused look on his face just confirmed her statement.
“Listen. Have you noticed her being somewhat... distant lately?”
“Well yeah. She’s studying like it’s the end of the world, which leaves virtually no sexy fun time for me.”
“If you ask me, that’s only the excuse. The real reason for you not getting into Gia’s panties is right over there,” Hazel said, nodding at Janie. “And if I’m right, your right hand is about to get very busy, because until Janie’s happily in a relationship, Gia’s not putting out. Now go find your girlfriend before she starts paying strangers to have sex with your ex-girlfriend.”
Lucas did as commanded. He left Hazel to her flask, but as he searched the room for his Zelda, he couldn’t figure out exactly how unethical it would be to get her drunk. Not to give his right hand a rest, of course, but to get her to relax.
Although his hand probably wouldn’t mind a short break, he thought bitterly as he finally reached Gia. “What are you looking at?” he asked, although he already knew the answer.
“Janie,” Gia sighed miserably. “Lucas, I love you and everything but we have to break up.”
“This is crazy! You’re ruining Zelda for me!”
“I don’t care about Zelda! What I do care about is that I’ve destroyed that poor girl’s life forever!”
“Gia, I don’t know what kind of a fantasy world you live in, but I’m really not that big of a catch! I’m no Luke Skywalker, okay? I’m sure she had no trouble getting over me. So will you stop feeling guilty about it?”
“I can’t! You don’t understand! My life has been such a huge mess anyway, and now you’ve turned me into the person I never wanted to be! People talk, you know, and I’m the bad guy here! I hate this so much! And all you ever talk about is doing it and I don’t want to because I don’t want to be the slut, too!” By the time she finished this little rant, Gia had tears in her eyes and she didn’t even notice that everyone around them was staring at them.
“So what, you just want to break up?” he asked in disbelief. “Because a few people talk behind your back?”
Gia shouted in frustration. “You don’t even care at all! I don’t know if that’s because you’re still hung up on her or because you’re so stupid you can’t even stop thinking about fucking for one second.”
“I do care! And I am not hung up on her at all, trust me! Is that what this is about? You’re jealous because I had another girlfriend after YOU left? Well excuse me for trying to get over you after you ignored me for months! And if we’re going down that road, should we talk about Sean and whoever else you let fuck you? Should we talk about how you got pregnant, then?”
Gia fell silent. Tears were now openly falling from her eyes, and she finally noticed all the people staring at the two of them. By the end of the evening everyone in this room would know that she got pregnant, and oh, won’t they have fun spreading that gossip. Gia glanced back at Lucas, who seemed just as shocked by his little outburst as she was, and then she did the only logical thing she could think of. She left, and didn’t look back.
Gerard Way woke up to the front door slamming shut downstairs. He looked at this wife in the dark, but she hadn’t woken up from the noise. It was midnight, and he wondered if he should go get a baseball bat or something, in case it was a burglar. Burglars probably didn’t slam doors, though, and he didn’t even own a baseball bat. It was probably just Gia.
His suspicion was confirmed when he heard the vacuum cleaner go on downstairs. Gerard laid his head back down on the pillow, but didn’t sleep for the rest of the night. For years, when he had still been addicted to drugs and alcohol, Gia’s way of dealing was to clean. According to the therapist, that was some kind of symbolic way to attempt to sort out her mess of a life, so Gerard decided to let her have tonight. Maybe she broke a nail. Or maybe, Gerard thought hopefully, she broke up with that asshole of a boyfriend she had. For the rest of the night Gerard entertained himself with the thought of how happy the entire world would be by that, and how all his problems would simply fade away if Lucas was out of their lives.
But as he would come to realize, that was just not the case.