MARIANAS TRENCH FIC! Her life was broken, his life had just been fixed
With tear blurred vision I looked in the mirror at my shirtless self.
They say "Oh Sam! You're skinny!!" I wish they could see what I see, my body in only my bra and jeans.
I'm so fucking fat, I want to be one of the people who is scrawny, able to see their ribs, even an indent of where each bone- NO! I refuse to be nothing.
More tears fell as a sharp pain entered my stomach, I do eat.
Damn I'm the wussiest excuse for an anorexic, or anything! Poor excuse for a living being.
What did I eat the last two days? I leaned my head back against the cool wall, closing my eyes in thought.
In math yesterday I ate the two oreos Matt offered, made him belive nothing was wrong, he even gave me
a smile..poor niave Matt/
Okay oeros, fuck..just adding the pounds you little fatass!
A familiar voice growled, causing a lump to arise in my throat.
Lunch, that coke. A simple can of coke to get AJ,
Mike and Ian to belive it was all I packed that morning
Okay, I see why you weigh so much! YOU LITTLE FATASS! YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A LIVING PERSON! The voice screamed as I buried my face in my hands..It's true, I don't deserve to live.
Taking a gasp of air, I reached over feeling my MCR Black Parade Jacket hoodie and finding the lighter I kept on me.
I don't smoke, do drugs or anything...why do I kee-
Oh yeah, I took it from Josh that one time. A small grin arose as I thought of my friend, the closest person in my life; and he was gone! He left me here in this shithole.
Didn't even say why!
He used to always come over, make sure I wouldn't hurt myself, make sure I ate right. Laugh and call himself a hipocrete for the fact he did so much for me; when honestly he did it himself.
Then one day, he didn't arrive at my house. Thought nothing of it, until it didn't happen for a full week.
He left; nothing to tell me where he was going.
Damn I'm so alone
Closing my eyes to block away the tears I clicked the lighter on, running my fingertips over the flame, before bringing it to my calf.
I had to bite hard on the metal hoop that surrounded my lip from screaming in pain.
"It makes me pretty, punishes me for eating." I whispered, totally unaware someone was on the other side of the bathroom door.
"FUCK!" I screamed, whipping the lighter across the room, letting sobs wrack my shoulders.
YOU PROMISED! You promised me you wouldn't cut A familiar voice reminded me; I honestly did promise him, and vice versa.
Then again he did lie to me...He promised up and down how he would never leave; yet gone without a fucking trace.
My hand slowly crept over to a discoloured floor tile, I flipped it up, reaching for the pocket knife stashed inside.
I examined the way it's silver exterior shined as I rotated it in the light.
Taking a shaky breath and moving a strand of pink hair off my face I brought the tip of the blade to my ribs, directly in between the first and second bone, adding pressure until I was sure it broke skin then dragged it until it reached the middle of my stomach.
I repeated this process, until someone entered the bathroom I had been lying in for the past 45 fucking minutes.
"What the hell are you doing?!" I looked up, at the, familiar yet unfamiliar face of someone I used to be close to.
Biting my lip as hard as I could not to jump up and try to punch him, I settled for flipping him off.
"Sam really, talk to me." I felt tears of betrayal, hurt, and lies stream off my face.
"Fuck.You.Ramsay" Sobs pushed my shoulders forward as I took in what he looked like.
Skinnies, Converse, shmancy shirt, tie.
A whole new person. Great
"What did you eat today?" He asked sitting beside me
"Uh, well the thing is.." Even without looking I could tell he was expressionless.
"Nothing?" I shook my head automatically
"Cereal. Corn Pops to be honest." I shrugged my shoulders; it wasn't a complete lie! He didn't ask how much, he asked if I did.
"How much?" GOD DAMMIT
"A few balls" Heh heh balls
"Fuck really? You lied to me." He pointed out, his converse clad foot nudging my bare one.
"Like you have reason to talk." I growled
"How?" He challenged
"You left me, alone." I snuck a look at him, his features had a look of slight pain
"Yeah I did. But it was a good cause." This causing me to turn my head fully towards him; making the room spin.
Or maybe that was the lack of food.
"I went to rehab." I felt suddenly nauseous. A bit from being pissed when he was trying to get better, and eating in all a meal, throughout this full month.
"Are you okay?" He asked suddenly concerned
"I feel like I'm going to fuckin' I pushed over him, making my way to the toilet, emptying the little contents I had in my stomach, sobs wracking my frame.
"You okay?" He asked, pulling my into his lap.
"No! I'm so fucked up." I cried resting my head against his chest
"Josh, I am so fucking scared" I whispered
"I'm here, and why?" He whispered back, resting his chin on the top of my head
Inhaling a deep breath.
"I'm scared of what I am." I admitted, feeling his hand rub up and down my bare, scrawny back.
So honestly, yeah this is based off true shit (minus being that close to Josh-Fucking-Ramsay)...I'm probably going to keep this going to r&r is always good