- Nice lil' fic. I really like the idea of Gaara asking how he can apologize to an entire village. His analysis of the state of Suna is probably correct too. That will take some fixing. I'm thinking that Suna should also be apologizing to the monster they helped to create, as it seems that isolation and treating him like a weapon from the get-go did a lot to shape Gaara into the psychopath he is today (or was, rather). But it'd be wise for Gaara to start the process, considering the deaths and terror and such ^^;
A few sentences were hard to read. 'He would rather be able to hear someone who could easily kill him coming than be startled by him' for eg. The 'coming' sort of floats in there, I had to reread the sentence to get it. Something like 'He'd rather not be startled by someone who could easily kill him; he'd rather hear him coming' or some such.
Author's responseSorry I never responded to this before, but I just discovered the "Respond" function today - sad, I know, but true. ^^;; Thanks for the suggestions about "He would... ...by him", I knew it was phrased awkwardly, but I hadn't been able to come up with another way to phrase it; your phrasing never even occurred to me, which makes me feel a bit silly. ^^;; I'll make sure to fix that up when I get a chance to do revisions on this fic! Thanks for the help!
- Very nice. A lot of people either make Gaara completely out of character or an extreme psychopath, but I think you had it right on. He IS a real person, after all. Maybe you should describe the workroom a little more. It's hard to grasp the atmosphere with only a small idea of the background. Very good story, though.
Author's responseThank you for the compliments! I'm glad you liked it - it is really hard to find in-character Gaara fic. I hadn't really described the workroom because I didn't want people to focus too much on it, but I guess I didn't describe it enough. The term 'workroom' gives me a very specific mental image, but I didn't want to put too many restrictions on people's imaginations by giving a specific description. I'll certainly take your comment into account the next time I'm doing revisions of this fic (probably after Christmas, since I have work and exams and stuff now).
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