"Its not Cinderella!" And started laughing again, holding her hand up as if to tell him to wait. She gasped and almost yelled "It's more like Cinderfella!"
The closer it got to the final bell of the day, the more Frank dreaded the fact he had agreed to go to Jamia's. He had made a list of reasons why he didn't want to go, and there was one thing that stood out far too much that he didn't like. He hated it. He had also made a list of believable excuses to get out of it, like: a cold or he had to go home and hose away ice in the backyard and it couldn't wait. But he realised no matter what excuse he used, he'd get caught for lying. He always did. He was a bad liar, and the only thing people have believed for years was that he was straight. That was the one thing he had to try extra hard for.
Frank walked extra slow when the bell went. He took his time picking up his books and putting them in his bag and wondered through the halls, dreading meeting up with Jamia. He even went into the library to return a few books a teacher had asked him to return on his way. He was just looking for Reasons to be late. But he was out of them now and there were only a few people left hanging around the halls. One of them being Jamia, who was standing in front of his locker looking down at her phone with a smile. It almost made frank want to text her and tell her he had been picked up early because someone he knew died. But it was too late. She had looked up and seen him. There was no going back now.
Sighing quietly, he walked up to her and gave a small, forced smile as she asked "What took you so long?" With a content smile. "Did you forget where your locker is again?" She giggled.
Oh yeah he thought as he started fiddling with his lock. He'd forgotten he'd used that as an excuse before. "No, I didn't forget where my locker was I just... I got kept back" I lied. "The teacher had to speak to me"
"Oh. Are you in trouble?" She asked quietly when he finally had is locker open. He shook his head. "Oh good!" She grinned, making him grimace. "So my mom is taking us to my place and then she's going to my Aunties house for an Avon party" she said, indicating that they'd have the house to themselves. Frank wanted to run.
"Uh huh" he said with the slight roll of his eyes. He closed his locker reluctantly, almost disappointed that some kind of tentacled monster didn't pull him in and devour him whole. He didn't want that to happen really, because that would mean no tour with Gerard. But to get out of hanging out with Jamia and pretending to be all romantic, he was considering anything. "I heard Janae got pregnant" he said, changing the subject of no parents and what she wanted to do. He was glad he'd been listening to the gossip today.
"Again?" She asked disappointedly. That was news to Frank. He had thought this was the first time. "Doesn't she know what contraception is? Rubbers? The pill? Ugh!"
Frank sighed and started down the hall. "You do know that condoms only work ninety seven percent of the time, right?" He asked as he shook his head. "And people have gotten pregnant because they've forgotten dosages of the pill" he looked at her. "The only way you won't get pregnant is if you don't have sex"
Maybe if I scare her about sex, she won't try to force it down on me again. he thought with a small smirk when she furrowed her eyebrows and looked down at her feet.
"Yeah, but, Janae sleeps with everyone" she said as she took hold of his hand gently. "And she isn't on the pill. She's a slut"
I agreed with her on that one. She was a slut. "So you think because she has sex, she's a slut?" I asked, holding the door open for her. She nodded. "What about the three times you've asked me?"
She blushed and looked down at her feet. "That's different" she said quietly. "We're going out and I love you. Sex is for love. Janae isn't dating any of the five guys she's sleeping with" she looked up at me. "Are you telling me I'm a slut for asking?"
"I don't think you're a slut at all, Jam" he replied. "It was just the way you said that"
Nodding, she pulled him towards her moms car and climbed in, watching him climb in after her. He felt like there was no escape once the door was close. It made him feel like this was the end of him.
"Hello frank, how are you?" Jamia's mom asked happily from the front seat.
Jamia and her mom looked scarily alike. If her mom were a few years younger, they would probably look like twins. Maybe even just sisters. It was like the only gene used was her moms. It kind of freaked him out a little bit, but he'd never tell her that. He didn't know if it would offend her or not.
"I've been good" he replied with a small nod, giving Jamia a small, strange look when she giggled from beside him. She was looking at her phone again. "How 'bout you?" He asked politely as he looked back at her mom in the review mirror.
They turned out into the almost deserted road as she replied with a happy "Great! I couldn't be better!"
Nodding gently, he looked out the window, wishing he could just take his hand back from being held by Jamia's. But the last time he just let go of her hand after a short time of holding it, she dramatised the moment and started asking if he didn't like holding her hand or hugging her and made herself upset. He had been forced to hug and comfort her uncomfortably and awkwardly as he lied and told her that he loves holding her hand and hugging her and that it was 'some of the only things that he looks forward too'. Yes, he felt bad for lying, but he felt he had no choice.
"I love your hands" Jamia almost whispered beside him, making him slowly turn to her from the window. He found that statement slightly creepy. "The palms are soft but your fingers are rough" she continued, running her fingers over his hand. "And you're so gentle"
He swallowed awkwardly and nodded, forcing himself to keep his hand in hers. The urge to pull it away was so strong it was almost over powering. He knew why she was saying that. She had said similar things about him the other three times. He felt bad that she felt like she was ready to take their, unfortunately, fake relationship to the next level. It meant she really liked him and wanted to feel closer and more connected, like adults. He really hated what he was doing to her.
Instead of telling her to stop and to behave, just like he wished he could, he just said "cool" dumbly and glanced at her mom, hoping she was getting the hint of what her daughter was doing so she could stop it. Really, he was just hoping for a miracle.
"Alright guys" Her mom said as they pulled up outside their small blue house. "There you go! Jamia, don't forget I have your aunties party" she said as she turned and looked at them both. Frank had already opened the door and was almost ready to leap out and run away screaming. "And your father has work, so no getting up to anything, okay? I'm trusting you, Jamia"
Jamia just smiled innocently. "I know mom, we won't do anything, the most we'd do is study, god forbid" she giggled, making her mom laugh. How did her mom not see the plans she had whirling around in her head?! he thought as he climbed out the car. She's evil with lust!!
While he was too busy silently begging her mom not to leave, he had just let his feet hit the concrete hard, making him slip and fall. Much to his approval, it tore his hand out of Jamia's, but it almost meant more wet patches and a headache later because his head had hit the car as he yelped.
"Oh my God!" Jamia exclaimed as she carefully slid out the car and kneeled beside him on the cold concrete. "Are you okay?!"
He looked up at her concerned face and nodded, sitting up and glancing at her moms shoes. Apparently she had gotten out the car to race to his aid too. "I'm fine" he said said quietly with a small nod. "I forgot about the um, ice" He said quietly as he picked himself up, Jamia following in suit.
"Now your butts wet!" Jamia giggled, wrapping her arm around his wet waist affectionately.
"Okay, I'm going now" her mom said with a nod. "Behave"
Frank watched her mom, and his hope, climb into the car and speed off down the road. She had been the last person that could save him, and there she went. Leaving them with an empty house. As if she hadn't realised what her daughter intend to get up to.
Once her moms car disappeared around the corner, she grabbed hold of his hand and pulled him towards the door excitedly. She was so sure that tonight was the night. She had planned it all out in her head. It had been months since the last time she had brought it up, so she thought 'he has to be ready by now'. All she wanted to do was show him how much he meant to her.
She unlocked the door as she hummed happily, unaware of Franks frown and his 'I don't want to be here' body language. He was barely moving anymore, she was just yanking him about now.
Once the front door was closed, he let out a nervous breath and said "Jamia, we kind of need to talk"
That stopped her from making a b-line to her room and freeze in the hallway. From the countless amounts of romance movies she's seen, that one line had never been a good one. It never gave a good result in the end. "What about?" She asked as she turned around, a fake smile on her face to help hide the worry.
He sighed. "Jamia I... I know why you invited me over today and I'm not going to use the excuse that I'm not ready again because let's face it, I've used it three times already. I know you don't believe me anymore" he said, watching her nibble on her glossed lip as she nodded. She looked terrified. "I can't do it anymore" he said quietly. "You'reman amazing girl and you deserve so much better"
She held her breath. If all those romance movies have taught her one thing, it's that this is the break up speech. This is the part where they'll say the "it's not you, it's me" line, even when it's not the case at all. Everyone knows that means it is you. Not them. She wasn't ready for this.
"It isn't you, okay? I know you're going to think it is, but it's not. I promise. You're perfect, pretty and extremely nice..."
"In others words it is me?" She asked, sounding slightly hurt. "If its because you don't want to sleep with me, it's okay. We don't have to, I just thought it would it would help build us a little more"
Frank frowned. She was almost begging him not to leave her. This was worse than he thought, and of course his cells had nothing to say on the subject. They were just sitting there like an audience, speechless and scared. He kind of wished they were screaming at him again, telling me what to say. Just this once he wanted their help.
"And if its because I'm too clingy, I'll stop. I'll give you some space or something!" She stepped forward and grabbed his hand. "Please don't end this Frank" she whispered. "Or at least give me a good reason, preferably the real one"
He shook his head gently, almost slow. "I can't" he whispered, letting out a small breath. "I wish I could but I can't"
Placing a hand on his cheek, she gave a miserable smile and said "It's okay. I can handle it"
"Jamia I..." He took a shaky breath and looked her in the eyes, tears in both their eyes. "I like someone else and... And it can't even work" he shook his head. "And I'm so sorry for what I've done to you, I really thought it was my only option and to be honest I don't want to lose you but I don't deserve you either"
As she stared at him sadly, a look of realisation swept across her face. Suddenly she understood. She'd watched a movie about this. "You're gay" she whispered, cupping both his cheeks as she accidentally let her tears roll down her perfectly foundationed cheek. "I'm right, aren't I?"
Breathing uneven and his eyes full of tears, he nodded almost shamefully in her hands. He felt so guilty for using her and finally he was telling someone about the real him. Not the fake 'I have a girlfriend therefore I like girls' him. It felt like the world he had been carrying around on his shoulders all these years had been lifted a little so it wasn't crushing him as much.
"I'm sorry" he whispered, almost sobbing. "I'm so sorry..."
Jamia shook her head and gave him a smile. "It's okay" she said quietly, gently wiping his cheeks with her hands. "I understand" she sniffed and pulled him into an unusually gentle hug. Usually she squeezed the life out of him. "I won't tell" she whispered as he hid his face against her sweater covered shoulder. "I promise... I care about you too much"
"I'm sorry" frank repeated in a cry. She just nodded and rubbed his back gently telling him that it was okay. Even though he didn't like her the way she wanted, it didn't mean she was going to stop caring for him. Se felt like she loved him, and even though it had ended and been a lie the entire time, she didn't care. She was happy he had told her, even if it had taken a year. But she wasn't going to ditch him. He needed someone and she wanted that someone to be her.
When Frank had stopped apologising and had calmed down, they sat on her bedroom floor together and talked. He had told her that he didn't want to hurt her and that the entire time he felt bad about it and annoyed that he could just stop her from clinging to him, but he didn't hate her. If he hadn't have heard she liked him and started going out as a cover, he was going to try to become her friend. She was different compared to the other girls around school. Sure, she still wore make up and skirts and those ugly pink flats, but she didn't wear as much make up and didn't always wear the flats. Her hair also wasn't bleach blonde and she didn't have a horribly orange fake tan. She was beautiful compared to the rest of them, but she was just the wrong gender for him.
"You know, sometimes I had my suspicions you were gay" she said with a small, amused smile. He looked up at her, confused. "I saw you check a few guys out a couple of times, but I just ignored it and told myself you did it by accident" she admitted.
He frowned. He thought he had done a great job in hiding that. Most of the time when he saw someone attractive he'd turn around and wait until they walked passed and into his line of vision, just so it wasn't obvious he was checking them out. But then again, sometimes he just gawked at guys, forgetting that other people actually existed. I guess she's right he thought. I was pretty obvious sometimes.
"That and Amy came up to me and told me that while your art class was at the museum, you couldn't stop staring at the extremely good looking guide" she almost giggled. "She said you barely blinked"
Frank blushed and looked down at his hands. He knew that he'd let his guard down that day, but he didn't think anyone had noticed. He'd always been almost completely ignored and plus, he was up the front of the group anyway. There was no way anyone behind him could tell what he was really looking at. His eyes could have been pointing anywhere.
"Oh my God, he's the other person, isn't he?" She asked. Franks blush just deepened. "I have to meet him!"
"Jamia, you know I'm never going to stop apologising to you. I feel really bad for leading you on all this time. Hate myself for it"
Shrugging, she said "If I weren't allowed to be gay, I probably would have done the same thing. I'm just amazed at how long you've had to hide it. It's kind of sad that you can't just be yourself. It's like Cinderella. She had to pretend she wasn't the beautiful girl the prince fell in love with at the ball" she paused and started laughing.
"What?" She just shook her head and lent back against her bed and she cackled, covering her face. "What is it? What's so funny?!"
She turned to him, giggling and said "Its not Cinderella!" And started laughing again, holding her hand up as if to tell him to wait. She gasped and almost yelled "It's more like Cinderfella!"