a shitty morning, a shitty day, and some miscommunication that seriously managed to stir things up.
I woke up to a shrill voice calling out a name that made me cringe.
"Gerard? Are you in there?"
The locked door handle made a protesting sound as someone clutched it repeatedly.
I turned over only to find a bunch of messy dark hair suddenly all over my face
What the hell..
The furball let out a low grunt and twitched a little.
Gerard -ugh! We'd slept in the same goddamn bed! Perfect! My life would never be the same again, I was never going to regain my self-respect after this.
I'd almost forgot about the high-pitched voice until it called again.
This time, Gerard swept the hair off his face and opened one eye. His face was... uhm. How do you describe a face like that?
His cheeks seemed a little swollen, his skin was full of red marks that you sometimes found on your body after sleeping on crinkled sheets or something. It sometimes took the whole day before they faded. His eye was puffy and red and his features screamed for more sleep.
I pushed myself up, realizing again just how close my body was to his and cringing at this. I was happy to find that I had all of my clothes on - no underwear seemed to be missing, jeans were on and a t-shirt that didn't belong to me was glued to my sweaty skin.
After a few seconds of scanning the room, I spotted my own shirt on the floor and picked it up. Sadly, most of the buttons were gone and there was a huge rip on the front and no matter how I racked my brain for the most likely cause for this, I came up empty.
I slumped up the stairs, to let whoever was abusing my sensitive ears into the room and hopefully shut the hell up.
As soon as I clicked open the lock, a stunning woman almost twice my height threw the door open, almost killing me in the process.
I leaned on the wall, still recovering from the shock of almost getting murdered by a goddess with a motherfucking door as a weapon, while she was already making her way down the stairs.
"Gerard, honey, I've been so worried!" She cooed.
Gerard sat up, shooting an apologetic glance at my direction and I took it as my cue to leave.
So this had to be Kat.
I wasn't sure what to make of it, I mean yeah, when you overlooked Gerard's god awful personality and the fact that he didn't seem to shower a lot, then I guess he was kind of good looking, but.. This chick was striking to the point where I seriously had to consider turning into a lesbian and her talking to someone like Gerard was a surprise to say the least.
I wondered if she had a problem with Gerard sleeping in the same bed with some random girl she'd never met, but judging by the loveydovey sounds that followed I decided that I had propably been too insignificant to even be noticed.
I made my way to the kitchen only to find a still sulking Mikey at the kitchen table.
Donna handed me a cup of fresh coffee and I smiled in return, ever so greatful.
"Did you kids have a good time last night?" She asked cluelessly
"For sure" I smiled while shuddering inwardly. The pleading look I gave Mikey begged for a quick ride home. Or to school, more accurately, since that was where I was currently supposed to be. A quick glance at the huge clock above the stove gave me no comfort - I was running terribly late.
"I'll go see if Gerard's awake, I think it's time for us to get going" he sighed, rinsing out the coffee cup and disappearing into the hall.
"Oh, he's awake" I muttered to no one in particular.
Donna left for work after she'd declared how glad she was that I had tagged along yesterday and that she was looking forward to hearing more about my school career next time we came to see her. I had feeling there wouldn't be all that much to tell, but I conveniently left that out and waved her bye with a big fat smile plastered on my face.
I went to put my shoes on and was soon accompanied by a grumpy Gerard, a giggling Kat, and Mikey, whose face was an odd shade of purple. Annoyance was radiating off of Gerard and I wondered what the joke was that I'd missed on.
The ride back to the city was long and silent. Gerard concentrated on the traffic, Mikey seemed to be giving me the cold shoulder about last night's drinking and I was worrying about being late for class again. Also, I couldn't get my eyes off Kat.
Mark my words, I had no feelings of jealousy for their relationship, but the fact that I had been totally overlooked kind of hurt my feelings. I was fully aware of the fact that I wasn't the most beautiful member of the female gender in the world, but to be categorized as nothing to worry about or no competition made some pretty violent thoughts pop up in my head.
Yet, as I stared at her, all I felt was envy for her perfection and a sort of awe for what my eyes were witnessing. Her coppery brown hair flowed down to the small of her back, the locks bouncing slightly whenever she laughed or turned to look at Gerard. Her teeth were straight and naturally pearl white. Her very lightly made up eyes were penetrating, yet soft somehow.
She was gorgeous, which darkened my mood to a level I hadn't quite reached in some time. I felt extremely mediocre in my oversized men's T-shirt and worn out jeans. My hair was most likely hanging heavily, only reaching down to my shoulders after I had decided, about two weeks ago, to try out my skills in barbering.
I had had too much to drink and got hold of these huge gardening scissors and the result wasn't exactly something to brag about. I felt ugly and smelly and unworthy of her company - not that she paid any attention to me at all, though.
"And since you told me yesterday that you were on your way to visit your mother I decided that chances were you'd simply stayed for the night, but I still worried" She laughed.
Gerard let out an uneasy chuckle.
"I know I was being silly, but I just had the craziest thoughts running through my mind and I just had to make sure you were OK, you know?" She went on.
Now that I was actually listening to her, I finally found one tiny fault in her perfection. She talked a lot, not even needing any response from the people present, she seemed completely at ease just babbling the minutes away, filling the car with her high voice.
"I spent the night at Vicky's so it wasn't even a long walk" She shrugged "And I figured that in case you weren't there, I'd have had to call up a cab in any case. But I'm so glad I found you!"
The vein on Gerard's temple looked just about ready to bust.
I tried to gain eye-contact with Mikes for some shared amusement, but he dodged my attempts like a trained professional. I had never seen the guy show such interest in the poorly carpeted van floor before.
Gerard pulled up by the campus parking lot to let me out, I was determined not to skip the entire day even though I had none of my books with me. I had some in my locker, but I highly doubted there were any of the ones I would be needing today.
Gerard didn't speak a word, only Kat warily waved me bye when the van sped away.
My phone, that I'd actually loaned from Grace since I had killed the one I had and she claimed she hardly ever needed one anyways, buzzed in my pocket and I was surprised to see Mikey texting me. He couldn't be bothered to even look at me during the entire morning and the minute we go seperate ways, he's texting me?
Propably just an apology I was happy to receive.
'What happened last night, Em?' It said. I frowned in confusion.
'I got drunk, I'm sorry' I typed as I started walking towards the main entrance. He knew that, so he, too, was propably just fishing for an apology. Might as well give him that much.
'I meant what happened between you and G?'
'We got drunk, we're sorry?' I tried. The phone buzzed again and let out an annoyingly loud tone that I knew to be Grace's ringtone, one that I still hadn't learned how to change.
I hit the connect button but didn't even have the time to say hello before Mikey's angry voice greeted me
"Did you fucking sleep with my brother?" He snapped. Woah. He had to be home already, then.
"You're the one who didn't want to share your bed with me!" I defended myself.
"If it makes you feel any better, I didn't exactly enjoy it" I muttered bitterly "And neither did he"
Frustrated, I pressed the disconnect button repeatedly until my phone beeped and died. Oh, technology, how I love you. I was growing a little tried of Mikey being such a hysteric fucking weirdo all the time. I didn't even remember the last time he didn't act like he had a carrot shoved up his ass. He was always either lecturing or just moping around and this time I didn't even understand what had ticked him off so bad.
I mean yes, I got drunk at his mother's house but she didn't know that! What she doesn't know can't hurt her, right? And he himself had refused to let me sleep in his bed so how was I the one to be yelled at for sleeping in Gerard's room? What was so bad about that anyways? God, I hated this day already and it wasn't even noon yet.
I stomped my way to the art class that had already begun, received a disapproving look from the teacher and tried to concentrate on the assignment she'd given out yesterday, only coming up with frowning little cartoon faces that looked an awful lot like Mikey. The rest of the class I entertained myself by drawing knives through their skulls or ropes around their necks. I had a brilliant idea of writing a book called '27 ways to murder Michael Way' but decided to keep my ideas to myself, you know, just in case I ever needed to use them in the future.
Halfway through lunch I was depressed beyond belief. My mood swings sometimes got the best of me, though I wouldn't even call them mood swings - they were more like dark, cloudy days. Like I was on a sinking ship that only got closer and closer to the ocean floor.
I felt like a bad person, and didn't even know why.
When I was finally walking across the wide lawn infront of the library building, on my way home, I turned on my heels and headed to Grace's place instead. I was in desperate need of some Frank time, and since the guy had been homeless for the last I'm not sure how many months, Grace's apartment was the best place to start looking.
Frank could always be counted on not to take you on an undeserved guilt trip or to bring you down for no particular reason. A part of my brain reminded me that Mikey did actually have a reason, if nothing else then atleast the fact that I hadn't exactly contained myself when it came to alcohol, but I slapped myself mentally for defending someone who had found a reason to take his aggression out on me in something that was actually his very own fault. I hadn't wanted to sleep in Gerard's bed - I'd been forced.
I couldn't be bothered to knock so I simply marched into the apartment like I did every other time. Frank was crouched on the floor, tying his shoelaces but when he looked up and saw my dramatically devastated face, he jumped up and threw his arms around me.
"Whas it that bad?" He whispered understandingly.
"I'm starting to seriously dislike the entire Way family. Donna's nice, though, but she as sure as fuck didn't pass on the friendly genes onto her sons" I muttered.
"What happened?" He asked.
I could hear the smile in his voice but I didn't mind, I knew Frank wasn't making fun of me by not taking my hurt feelings seriously, he was just being comforting in his own can-you-hear-me-imitating-a-mock-therapist way. And it was comforting, in a way. Cause you know, everything about Frank was.
I told him about being left alone with the older brother for a too long time for anyone's liking. He chuckled at my dumb quotes concerning our quarrels that were most likely third grade wit level material.
I told him about feeling like a second class product being fully ignored by this lovely Kat creature, I told him about her appearance and surprisingly much, Frank was very interested in the topic and asked several questions concerning her looks. I hit him a couple of times just to help the poor man regain his sense.
"And then, just when I thought I'd lived through the worst of it-" I started dramatically, waving my hands in front of his face and letting out major theatrical sighs
"-Mikey went crazy on my ass"
"What else is new" he mused
"He texted me asking me about last night, and I told him that I got drunk and that I was sorry. The first part he already knew. Then he wanted to know what happened with Gerard, which I though was kind of a weird question, so I told him that we got drunk and that we were sorry."
Frank laughed quietly on the sofa we'd moved onto. I gave him a dirty look.
"What? I didn't know what he wanted and I think it was a rather good shot, you know, apologizing twice and shit.. He usually forgives you the first time around"
"You're too funny" he shook his head and let me go on
"And then, he called me all pissed off and asked me if I had slept with Gerard, which again pissed me off real bad since he was the same fucking asshole that had declared his room fucking private and practically forced me to spend the night with Gerard, in that dark tomb that he knows I've had nightmares of as a kid!"
"Right.... And you said?"
"I said just that, that yes I did and it was Mikey's own goddamn fault"
Something about Frank's presense changed radically, his posture seemed to have frozen in place and he stared at me with unmoving eyes. He managed a slow nod which I took as a cue to continue my story.
"Then I felt kind of bad for lashing out on him like that and told him that if it made him feel any better, neither of us enjoyed it. It was like torture and suffering from beginning to end" I finished.
"Is that what you told Mikey? The exact words?" He grabbed my arm and squeezed it in a way that was supposed to imply the importance of the matter.
I nodded. Pretty much, yeah.
"Em, I really hate to tell you this but I can't even laugh at this right now. I can like feel the hysterics building up but this is just too much to be laughed at immediately. So I'm just gonna tell you something before I fucking shit my pants" he explained dead seriously.
"...Yes?" I urged him on
"I want you to go over the entire conversation in your mind, only, instead of thinking about sleeping as in sharing a bed to sleep on, think of sleeping with Gerard as in having sex with him"
"Excuse me." Frank yelped as the maniac giggling started, ending up in the guy sounding like he was truly about to choke on something. He face was turning a sickly bluish, as well, but I was too deep in shock and embarrasment to do anything about it.
If he died due to laughing too hard, it would be a kind of suicide, I decided.
My entire body felt oddly numb. Slowly, very slowly, I realized that I'd succeeded in killing Grace's phone, too, and the best thing for me to do right now was to get the hell up, run home, and explain this almost comically horrifying misunderstanding to Mikey before he'd really start flipping out.
"Fucking fuckity fuck fuck fuck" I rambled as I frantically made my way out of the house and onto the street. Knowing Mikey, he was propably already in process of thowing my belongings through the window. I really, really hated this day.
It turned out that Mikey had made more damage than I ever could've imagined.
It also turned out that this tiny little moment of miscommunication was more than enough to send things on a downward spiral.
When I finally got home, out of breath and sweaty as hell, I found my room completely untouched. That was a relief, something I hadn't expected.
I sat down on my bed wondering about Mikey's current location and after several minutes of trying to re-start and get Grace's dead phone to work, and then almost twice a longer time of mental combat I finally grew the balls to call him. It rang twice before disconnecting.
I ran my hands through my hair, feeling an urge to pull it all out, but took a deep breath instead. Now now, Mikey's not an idiot... Is he, though?
He doesn't really think I had sex with his brother.. But does he, really? Well he's not gonna lose his mind over it... Oh yes he will.
What's the worst that could happen, I thought, before realizing it wasn't really the best thought to go over.
He'd completely and utterly unfriend me. Forever, perhaps. Mikey had a way of, when upset, not listening to any rational explanations. He propably had already called Gerard. Atleast he'd be angry at the jackass, too.. It was really the only good thing about this goddamned mess.
Gerard, I would call Gerard! I had to run back into the hall to try and find the little post-it note I had scribbled the number on, Nick had given me the number and told me to call the guy in case of emergency on the infamous day of the school interview. I dialed the number hastily, and waited.
"Yeah?" He sounded a little distressed, but judging by the lack of personal disdain, I don't think he realized it was me calling.
"Hey, it's Em"
"Oh really? Well fuck you" he spat and disconnected. I was getting a little tired of being hung up on, so I re-dialed and waited for him to pick up so I could tell him exactly how-
"Hey, it's me again" I blurted out as fast as I could
"Look, don't call me okay? You've already done enough harm, so just stay the hell away from me" he sighed
"I ain't done shit!" I protested
"Oh yeah? Then why did Nick fucking attack me half an hour ago? Saying he should've guessed that you and I were fucking behind his back all along? And why, oh why, did Kat call me three minutes before you did to let me know it was over between me and her? Cause I'm a cheating piece of shit, apparently"
"How's that my fault? I mean, I did spend the night in your bed and she just happened to barge in first thing in the morning. She didn't seem to fully register that at the moment but I mean, as braindead as she seems to be, it was just a question of time when she'd really start thinking about it"
"Don't call her that"
"Call her what?"
"Ugh, whatever. I'm serious, though, Em. Stop calling me. Stay away. And please stop telling people we had sex cause y'know, truthfully, I'd rather sleep with fucking Barbara Streisand than you"
"But I never said-"
Beep beep beep.
Alright, so this was how it was going to be. I felt a single involuntary tear escape the corner of my eye before I re-directed all the frustration and hurt of being misunderstood and just settled on being enraged at Mikey. He was the one shaking things up, and he was going to suffer.
I only had to find him, first.