Why am I here? This was a bad idea and i shouldn't have come. I'll just go back to my room. No, i can't i have to do this for my sanity. You're only asking him for a coffee, i remind myself. You're new, you want to make friends. No because that's desperate. I look like a lonely sad loser. "Frank, don't be afraid. What did i always tell you? Life is what you make it." I hear a soft faint whisper come and flash by with the slow soft wind. My Grandma. Grandma Lilian. She did always tell me that.
I will my feet to move and to my surprise, on the thousandth attempt they go. They walk faster and faster, a soft thud from my trainers with each step. I find what i'm searching for. A red vauxhall corsa, i just watched them climb out of it. I lean over the bonnet and slip my note beneath the windscreen wipers, addressed to you. I don't know his name, but this is his car so it all makes sense. He'll knows it's me. As soon as his eyes glance over the "I'll buy you another coffee." something will click and he'll know. I just want company and to make up for the incident. Imagine if he's one of those bully types that's on a hunt for me to shave my head and break my nose. The prospect of that makes my stomach drop a little, nothing even makes sense. " FUCK OFF!" I hear a screech and whirl around to see the boy spraying whipped cream all over his female companion. Oh of course, his girlfriend. AND THEY'RE COMING OVER HERE! I run and run with everything. Completely forgetting my note. Oh, highschool retake is happening from now.
"Oh my freaking god! As soon as i saw him i knew! Gez, for real check this shit out! He's taking me to coffee! Oh my god i need to get those hair extensions asap!" She's rambling on as she clambers into the driving seat and looks at me expectantly. After all this time she still expects me to dance along in joy with her. I don't do that. And especially not in situations like this. That guy has left a note for her, in true romance style on the windscreen of her rundown filthy car.
I shouldn't feel like this. Despair, isn't something i handle lightly, particularly when i don't know what i'm despairing over or if and what i'm desperate for. It's nothing materialistic, it was just seeing him again. And Willow with this note? I need to do something and i know what it is. "Willow, can we do dinner another night? I just need to go back to my room for a bit."