FicWad

Gerard was standing by the widows longingly gazing at the sunshine when Ayasha came out of her bedroom dressed for the day.

“Good morning.” She said softly.

He turned around. “Good morning. Hope it’s okay, I mean I don’t even know if you wanted it but I made coffee.”

She was surprised and pleased, “Thank you. I usually have a few cups in the morning but yesterday since I’d overslept I didn’t have time.” She walked towards the kitchen knowing he was following her.

“I still wish I understood all this shit.” He said taking a seat at the table while she poured a cup. “I mean why can I work a coffee maker but not a computer?”

Lifting her cup she moved to the table and took a seat. “I don’t know.”

The hours he’d spent alone while she slept had given him a lot of time to consider so many things. “And I can turn on lights, touch all the things in this house but not the fuckin’ computer.”

She sighed, “About the computer, I’m sorry.”

He knew she was talking about the photo of Mikey she’d pulled up before storming off to bed. “You thought I needed to see it and I think you were right. What you said was right, I’ve been hurting people I love.”

“Because you were hurting.” She said before taking a sip of her coffee.

He nodded, “Yeah but that don’t make it right. God, Mikey looks so bad.”

“He loves you.”

“I can just imagine how hard this is for my parents too.” He looked down at the table top.

For several minutes Ayasha sat in silence drinking her coffee.

“Why do you think you’re the only one I can touch?”

Ayasha shook her head, “I have no idea.”

He’d given this question a lot of thought last night. “Not only can I touch you I can actually cause you pain.”

“I told you not to worry about that.”

His eyes went to the small bruise on her arm. “I really didn’t mean to do that.”

“I know.”

“Just like I didn’t mean to hurt you with my words last night.” He said softly looking into her eyes.

She glanced away. “Last night was hard for both of us. I’m sorry, I know you wanted to talk about a lot of things.”

“Well we’ll talk tonight. I mean if I’m here.”

“I have a few minutes do you want me to see if there’s any news?”

He nodded, “Yeah, please.”

Taking her coffee with her she went to the computer. Gerard stood behind her as she pulled up the first site. It was hard for her to concentrate when she felt him lift several strands of her hair.

“Beautiful.” He whispered looking at the dark strands as they fell through his fingertips. “But I fuckin’ wish I could feel how soft it feels.”

Ayasha tried to laugh, “Hey, how do you know my hair is soft? Maybe it’s coarse.”

He shook his head, “Nope, it’s too shiny to be coarse.”

She pulled up another site not having learned anything new from the first. “I can’t find any new information.” She sighed.

“Three days in a coma.” He whispered.

Ayasha pushed her chair back. “I’ve got to get ready for work.”

He gave her a surprised look. “Thought you were ready?” She was dressed in jeans and a tee.

“Not quite.” She smiled. “Still have to fix my hair and put on some makeup.”

He stared at her face. “You don’t need any.”

Ayasha rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right. Could you pour me another cup of coffee? I’ll be right back.”

When she returned her hair was in a long braid and she’d applied her makeup. “Thanks.” She said taking the cup he extended.

Suddenly he was afraid, “What’s gonna happen to me?”

The fear she heard in her voice was heart breaking. “We are gonna figure this out. We’re gonna find a way to get you back to your life.”

“Maybe I don’t really want that.” He whispered.

All along this was what she’d feared. “Of course you do. Think about your family, think about your little girl. They need you, they love you.”

“Bandit.” He whispered as the image of his daughter filled his mind.

“She needs her daddy.” Ayasha said placing her hand on his arm in a comforting way. “You need to remember that.”

“She sure as shit don’t need the man I’d become.” He looked down feeling regret fill his soul.

“She needs the man you truly are.” Ayasha said.

His head snapped up. “You don’t really know if that’s true. You don’t really know me.”

“You’re wrong.” Ayasha lowered her hand. “I look into your eyes, I see that man. He’s still there, the man who loves his family. He just became lost.”

Gerard was staring into her eyes. “Do you really believe that?”

She nodded still staring deeply into his eyes. What she suddenly felt was overwhelming. This was something she couldn’t deal with. Taking a step away she said, “I have to be going now.” She sat her coffee cup down.

Gerard watched as she gathered up her bag. Suddenly he was afraid. “What’s gonna happen to me while you’re gone?”

She understood his fear. “Maybe yesterday was a fluke. Maybe you’ll just stay here.”

“And maybe I’ll fade into the nothingness.” He whispered.

“I really wish I didn’t have to go.” She admitted. “But it’s Saturday and two other people are working so I’ll try to leave early if I can.”

He hated the fact he was so afraid of her leaving. “Yeah, okay.”

She started to open the door then stopped. “I’ll see you tonight.”

Gerard forced himself to smile, “Yeah, okay.” Just as he’d done yesterday as soon as the door was closed he ran to the window to watch her walking away. He held his breath as she turned and started down the sidewalk. Then just like yesterday morning, as she left his sight the darkness came.
___________________________

In LA


Alicia tightened her arms around her husband’s body. “It’s gonna be okay. We can’t give up hope.” He’d been preparing to leave for the hospital when he’d suddenly sat down on the bed overwhelmed with fear.

Mikey lowered his head.

“Hey, we have to keep thinking positive. He’s breathing on his own and last night they said he was showing more brain activity.”

“I can’t help thinking this is my fault. I knew Gee was…”

She sighed, “We all knew he was heading down this destructive path. But you, more than anyone tried to help him.”

“Obviously not enough.” Mikey whispered. “My brother is laying in a coma from a drug overdose.”

Alicia sat down beside him then took his hand in hers. “Do you believe it was accidental?’

Mikey’s eyes were full of tears when he looked up. “That’s what I want to believe. I don’t want to think Gee would purposely try to end his own life. Fuck, I don’t want anyone else to think that either.”

Her tone was gentle. “I know what you want to believe but I really want to know what you truly believe.”

Mikey wiped his eyes. “For almost a year I saw my brother pulling away. First the divorce, then how he was struggling creatively. It was like he was slowly giving up and I think maybe all the anger was because he felt so helpless to change anything. That last day if only…”

Alicia sighed, “Honey, you tried to get him to come home with you.”

“Yeah, but he wouldn’t.” He still couldn’t make himself tell his wife the cruel things Gerard had said to him. “I shouldn’t have been hurt by what he said, I should have forced him to come home with me.”

She too understood Mikey wouldn’t tell her what Gerard had said but she knew her husband had been very hurt when he’d arrived home from the studio. “You couldn’t force him to do anything.”

“All of us should have ganged up on him. Forced him into rehab. But instead we all stood by and watched him destroying himself.”

She was afraid he’d sink into depression. “Okay, then when he comes out of the coma this will have been his wake up call. We’ll get him the help he needs.”

Mikey desperately wanted to believe her words. “Do you really think he’ll come out of the coma?”

She nodded.

He couldn’t stop from voicing his fears. “But what if there’s brain damage?” He whispered.

She hugged him tightly. “We can’t think like that.”

“I just want my brother back.” Mikey said as his eyes began to tear again. “I want Gee back.”
______________________________________________________


Ayasha sighed as another couple walked through the door. The beautiful Spring weather was bringing in a larger than normal amount of customers. She’s hoped to leave early but if business didn’t slow down that would be impossible. She was trying very hard to keep her mind off Gerard and on business. Still, she wondered, at this moment was he in her home?

“Excuse me.” A very annoyed voice caught her attention. “Can I get some help here?”

Ayasha saw the older woman was looking directly at her.

“Of course.” Ayasha smiled. ‘Would you like to see something in the case?”

The woman nodded, “Yes and I’ve been standing here for ten minutes.”

That was highly unlikely but Ayasha reminded herself to keep smiling. “Sorry.” She grabbed the keys then walked over to where the woman stood.

“I want to see that necklace.” The woman pointed then tapped her long fingernail on the top of the glass case.

Ayasha found the right key, unlocked the case, then slid it open. “This is a beautiful piece.” She said as she carefully lifted the turquoise squash blossom necklace. “The turquoise is from a mine in Leadville. This piece was made in the 1940’s in a small shop in Manitou Springs by a true artist. Her mark is on the clasp.”

“Heavy piece.” The woman said as soon as Ayasha handed the necklace to her.

“It is sterling silver.” Ayasha loved this particular piece and it’s history. “Over 230 grams.”

The woman was now running her fingertip over the largest stone. “Never really liked how each turquoise stone looks so different.”

“But that is what makes each piece unique.” Ayasha said wondering how anyone could not see the beauty.

“And you say it was made in the 1940’s?”

“Yes, the artists name was Aponi.” She started to explain more but the woman cut her off rudely.

“What kind of name is that?” She asked looking at Ayasha closely. “Indian?”

Ayasha had to remind herself this was a customer, “Yes, she was Native American, Navajo.”

“Is that what you are?” The woman asked staring at Ayasha.

“No, I am Cherokee." She answered her smile beginning to slip.

The woman gave her a dismissive nod. “So this is the price?” She asked turning over the small tag.

“Yes.” Ayasha answered.

“Seems a lot for some stones and silver.” The woman huffed.

Ayasha tried to keep her voice pleasant. “Truthfully the piece is museum quality. A few months ago another piece by the same artist sold for almost twice our asking price.”

The woman handed her back the necklace. “Well you know what they say about a fool and his money.” With that she turned and walked away.

Ayasha was secretly relieved the woman had no intention of buying the necklace. She hated to think of anyone purchasing it who didn’t appreciate its beauty. She had just started to return it to the case when the stores’ owner called out to her.

“Ayasha, could you please come here and bring the necklace?”

Immediately Ayasha was afraid her boss wasn’t happy with the way she’d handled the customer. She quickly locked the case then crossed over to where he stood.

He held out his hand to take the necklace. “Uh, I overheard that conversation.”

Ayasha wasn’t sure how to respond.

Tom smiled, his faded blue eyes twinkled. “She was quite the pain in the ass, wasn’t she?” He whispered.

Ayasha nodded starting to relax. “I can’t believe she couldn’t see the necklace is a beautiful work of art.”

He snorted, “All she could see was the price.” As he spoke he surprised Ayasha by placing the piece around her neck. Once it was secured he stood back. “There now. I knew that would look beautiful on you. You wear it for the rest of the day.”

“But..” Ayasha was shocked. “It’s so expensive.”

“Yep, but it’s been in the shop for years. Maybe if you wear it around it will get the attention it deserves. First compliment you get on it you can tell them it’s for sale.”

Her hand reached up to touch the necklace. “Are you sure?” While Tom always seemed to trust her he’d never suggested she wear a two thousand dollar necklace around before.

He nodded, “Yep. Now I think that couple is interested in the bone china tea set in the window.”

Ayasha smiled then headed over to the couple.
_____________________________________________________

In LA


Alicia had just finished lunch when her cell rang.

“Hey, Lindsey.”

“I tried to call Mikey but he’s not answering.” She said in greeting.

“He’s at the hospital.” Alicia explained.

“Has there been in change in his condition?” She asked getting directly to the point of the call.

Alicia sighed, “Last night he showed more brain activity so we’re hoping that’s a good sign.”

“But he’s still in a coma, right?”

The relationship she’d had with her ex sister in law was strained but Alicia could hear the sadness in Lindsey’s voice. “Yes, as far as I know. I’m sure Mikey would have called me if that changed.”

“This is so fucked up.” Lindsey whispered. “I don’t know what to tell Bandit. She was so upset when he’d cancelled their plans for this weekend and now…” Her voice trailed off. “I’m gonna have to tell her something. I’m afraid she’ll overhear…” Again her voice trailed off. “Fuck, I never thought he’d do something like this. I mean, I really didn’t. The last time I talked to him we fuckin’ argued. I said some things I wish I could take back but I was so hurt he’d upset Bandit for canceling his plans with her.”

“It was an accidental overdose.” Alicia said quickly. “I don’t believe he meant for this to happen.”

Lindsey sighed, “I know that’s what you all want people to believe but we both know it’s probably not true. He had changed so much especially these last few months.” Her voice was full of sadness. “Even towards B.” She wiped her eyes. “Please let me know if there’s any change.”

Alicia understood that even though she and Gerard were divorced their child had kept them close. “I will.” She promised. “Give B a kiss for me, okay?”

“Yeah, I will. She misses you and Mikey.”

“We love her.” Alicia said feeling guilty that since the divorce they didn’t see Bandit nearly as often. Suddenly she asked, “Lindsey, what are you going to tell her?”

“Just that her daddy is sick in the hospital.” She paused then added, “And that he loves her.”

Alicia felt tears come to her eyes. “I’ll keep you informed.” She promised.
_____________________________________________________________


Ayasha sprinted up the porch steps with her key already in hand. She felt terrible she not only hadn’t been able to leave work early but had been forced to stay late.

Gerard’s eyes opened as she walked through the door.

Her heart caught when she saw the look on his face and the tears in his eyes.

Quickly she closed the door then crossed over to where he stood by the windows. “Gerard?”

“I was in the darkness.” He said slowly. “I could hear Mikey talking to me.” A single tear rolled down his cheek.

She threw her arms around him.

His arms went around her, pulling her to him so tightly it was almost painful but she understood.

“I’m hugging you tightly.” She whispered knowing while he couldn’t actually feel the action he needed to know.

Gerard buried his face against her neck. “Thank you.” He whispered closing his eyes.