Screaming and shouting won't make it go away. please R&R lov ya's ;)
It’s dark, I can’t see anything but I’m positive my eyes are wide open. I swear they are open. Panic craws under my skin and feels like hot needles stabbing into every pore on my body, I fucking hate needles! It’s so hot that I’m sweating but the surface I’m lying on is ice cold. I gasp as a bright red light flashes then disappear, the light returns moments later to only disappear again. It reminds me of a light house, warning of nearby dangers. I don’t feel safe here. I can feel eyes watching me. I feel weak and exposed. Every bone in my body is aching. It feels like my stomach is been twisted with a set of pliers.
“Agghhh!” it feels like someone is plunging screw drivers into my ears and penetrating my skull. I can feel my warm toxic blood dribble down the side of my face and neck as the red light continues to flash. My blood surrounds me in a pool on the floor where I lay. I struggle to keep my eyes open due to the discomfort and pain but convince myself that I mustn’t let my guard down. The red light house shines brighter assaulting my eyes with blistering burns.
“AGGGHHHHH!” I scream out praying for someone to put me out of my misery. Screams and cries that are not my own slice through the air and I freeze. I thought I was alone? The screams sound just as tortured as my own. I open my eyes wider straining to see through the dark only to be blinded by the light again but it soon fads. I try to move but I can’t, I’m paralyzed in a puddle of my own dirty blood.
“HELP!” I yell out into the darkness, hearing the echo bounce back at me like a tease. I gasp in a shaken breath as I roll over and scream while searing pain shreds the end of every nerve in my body. I gasp and gulp in air desperately but it just never seems to reach my needy lungs. What is going on? My body quivers and shivers as more of my polluted blood surrounds me. Is this all my own blood? It can’t be. There is too much.
“….Party….” I snap my head in the direction of my name been called and feel like I just broke my neck.
“HELP! WHOES THERE!” I cry in pain and fear. I hear footsteps walking in puddles creeping closer and closer but I can’t see anyone, even when the light flashes in my direction.
“PLEASE!” I cry tears that flood from my stinging eyes and mix in with the crimson liquid that i’m bathing in. I stare into the never ending dark as a sudden intense red glow covers over me.
“Tusk, tusk, tusk…” I smooth smug voice fills the air that becomes suffocating thickens. My lungs refuse to function so I just stop trying, I can tell that this voice is not here to help me but to sit back and watch like I’m some form of entertainment. I am not your fucking reality TV!
“Oh Party...”coos the smug unrecognizable voice. My back suddenly arches like the McDonald arches and I scream.
“What’s wrong Party?...are you in pain?” The voice coos unsympathetically. This just pisses me off.
“PARTY!” Violently load, I hear Ghoul yell into my ear like a fog horn, His lips just brushing against the soft flesh. Despite the sudden shock I am overwhelmed with joy to hear his beautiful voice. The smug voice disappears as I feel Ghouls gentle hand grip my shoulders.
“Party, shit. Are you ok?” he asks as he helps me sit up, the pain just simply slipping away like silk as he holds me. My lungs finally work and I breathe in deep, capturing and indulging in the sweet cinnamon smell of Ghoul. I tightly wrap my arms around my hero and hold him close. I bury my face into his chest and he rests his chin on top of my head. I cry. Not sure why, but I cry. Ghoul tenderly kisses my forehead and hums a sweet tune to calm me down. He rubs my back and makes me feel safe. I never want to leave his embrace.
“Well isn’t this sweet?” the smug voice is back with a snide tone. Every mussel inside of me tense’s. My grip on Ghoul tightens as fear takes hold of me again. No, no, no, no. Ghoul keep me safe please.
“Ghoul, save me.” I cry out into the fabric of his shirt. He’s stopped humming to me. His hands are no longer rubbing my back comfortingly. Soft bone chilling chuckling fills the air as Ghoul remains unresponsive. Reluctantly I pull back to look at him. The taunting laughter intensifies as Ghoul’s body goes limp. He collapses in my lap and I shake his shoulders trying to wake the dead. No! NO! NO! NO! NO!.
“NO!” I scream “GHOUL!” I look down at the lifeless man and cry harder than I have every cried before in my life. My tears drip from my face and fall onto his perfect skin. I rock back and forth, Scared and alone. My heart stolen.
“KILL ME!” I scream up into the black sky. I don’t wanna live.
“KILL ME PLEASE!!!” I cry and cling onto Ghoul unwilling to ever let him go. I look down at his beautiful form in the red glow of light. I wipe away my tears from his face with a shaking hand. I brush his long hair behind his ear and hold him close to my chest. I rock back and forth as my sanity dissolves. I begin to hum the tune ghoul was humming just moments before. I stoke his cheek and smooth his hair. I lean down and softly kiss his blue lips.
“Ghoul,” I sob “Ghoul, I’m so sorry.” This is my fault, I know it is. Everything is always my fault. I can’t ever do anything right. I lay down in the crimson pool that our clothes soak up. I hold him tight like a child scared of the night.
The voice returns.
“Shut up! shut up! shut up! shut up! shut up! shut up!” I thrash my head side to side and hold onto the lifeless Ghoul. I want the voice to stop, to go away. I already know this is my fault. I don’t need to be told over and over again about how useless I am. I don’t want to hear all of my flaws and mistakes.
“Shut up! shut up! shut up! shut up! shut up! shut up!” I scream and scream but the voice only gets louder.
“KILL ME!” I scream at the top of my lungs as I suddenly sit up. Bright late morning sun light blinds me and arms are holding me tightly. I gasp the air finally able to breathe normally. I turn my face into the neck of the person holding me and instantly recognize it to be my little brother, Kobra. He’s crying as he holds me tight in his arms. My skin is slick with cold sweat and my heart beats hard against my ribs. It was a dream, fuck that, it was a bloody nightmare. But it’s over now.
I lift my head and look over Kobras shoulder. Jet his sitting close to a sleeping ghoul near the ash pile from the dead fire. I watch as Ghouls chest rises and falls in a deep sleep. He’s alive. I feel my body relaxes as my dark dream evaporates. I look up at Jet and he looks just about ready to kill me. What did it do? Though he death stares me I can see the slight hint of concern in his expression. Kober is still sobbing on my shoulder and I squeeze him tight to let him know everything is ok.
“Shhh, Kobra, it’s ok. Everything is alright.” I try to sooth my baby brother as he shakes in my arms.
“I wont kill you.” His muffled voice drifts into the air. My eyes go wide. Kobra leans back to look my in the eyes.
“You kept screaming.” He sniffed. I squeeze his shoulder and wipe away his tears.
“What did I say?” I ask unsure how much of my dream was heard.
“You started off yelling out in pain and then yelled for help,” he looked at me with wide red and puffy eyes as a fresh batch of tears rolled down his cheeks.
“Then you started yelling ‘No’ over and over and then you were screaming ‘Shut up’” Kobra breathed in a shaken breath as he finished “you were begging for someone to kill you” he cried, I must have really scared the shit out of him.
“I tried to wake you up but you wouldn't. You scared me Party, I thought you were dying or trying to die.” He confessed.
“Oh, Kobra...” I sighed pulling him into anther hug. He held onto me tight and I was reminded of the time when we were just little kids and when something scary or bad happen how we would just hold each other close till we felt better.
“I’m sorry, it was just a nightmare. Everything’s ok now”. I tried to comfort him and a stroked his hair.
“NO IT’S NOT!” Jet snapped, both Kobra and I let go of each other to face him.
“Jet, don’t. Just leave it alone for now.” Kobra pleaded. I’m confused.
“What?” I asked completely lost.
Jet stood up and glared at me for a long time. He walked over to me and Kobra, quickly my brother jumped to his feet.
I stood up as well then glanced behind Jet at Ghoul. That’s odd, he’s not usually such a deep sleeper. Someone would roll over during the night and Ghoul would instantly be awake and ready to run a marathon. He has way to my energy sometimes. Mind you Ghoul has saved our asses with his light sleeping skills.
“Is Ghoul ok? Why is he still asleep?” I asked about to walk over to him, concern that he might be getting sick. Well that made Jet blow his top.
“YOU FUCKING STAY WAY FROM HIM!” He bellowed at me with force. I was shocked, completely stunned. What the fuck?
“W-what? Why?” I asked trying to tread carefully around jet, I pissed him off but I’m not sure how.
“What did I do?” I asked a little upset and really fucking lost.
“You fucking nearly killed him!” Jet barked and his words hit me like a grenade. Those words knocked the breath out of me and I fell back. I landed on the sand wide eyed, confused and scared. My chest hurt so bad that I had to hold my hands above my heart. Feelings from my dream tainting my mind.
“W-w-w-what?” I stuttered. I would never hurt Ghoul, I fucking love him to bits, and he’s my best friend! Why would I ever hurt him? Let alone try to kill him. I looked up at Jet as he exchanged glances with my brother. I looked at Ghoul and wondered what the fuck happen. What the fuck was happening ? My stomach started to churn and I felt like I was going to throw up…. Wait... I am going to throw up.
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