Categories > Anime/Manga > Naruto
Eroninja
During his training trip, Naruto is given a scroll which holds the secrets in how to seduce and ensnare women. A scroll he uses at first on the women and kunoichi around him but soon on the Shinob...
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Reviews
Eroninja
(#) yad2411 2017-04-17
This story is awesome and I'm really glad i found it. I love how you add characters from different series in it. I had a request if you could add girls from dead of alive and ninja gaiden series like momiji, kasumi and ayane. I have been looking for any erotic naruto story involving girls from these series but haven't any good one yet. Would you kindly write it.Eroninja
(#) Snafusam 2017-04-29
I'm... Amazed and Thirsty for more! I started reading this on a whim months ago which became chain-reading, and finally caught up + LBB, Promise, Pride and Antithesis... after hours writing and adjusting this review to my satisfaction, I have to apologize if it's long. it cover's all of the basic Eroninja so far out(ch84). if you don't want to read it all... TheLemonSage Rules!
As amazing as the sex-scenes are... I have to say the spotlight of your writing goes to the mentality showed in each character and details you've added to the world.
Canon-Naruto's main characteristic was that He was too-stupid-to-think outside of a combat scene(much like many other notable anime characters...), and a mid-fight epiphany every bad-guy. which sadly deadpanned a number of potential storylines and details.
However Eroninja-Naruto might be simple-minded, but still capable of learning(basic clone), adjusting(Gave up the Hokage title!) and experimenting(Shadow clone D) while questioning "justice or revenge" without being immune to it(the worst problem I have when characters hit that question.)! I'm a little bit worried he might be remembering everything he said earlier in the story/his life word-for-word...
Loving the Menma-bad-guy twist, much more character than the movie had. The part where you added in Koharu's 'death' was an priceless detail!
The entire re-telling of Danzou's buildup and death, i couldn't get enough! the secrets, twists and surprises!
Pointing out that Worlds/Leaders can be evil is AMAZING.
The hints that the Daimyo could be working together to keep the shinobi population down/from taking over...
The Raikage, where to begin... Entering any alliance with the anticipation that it will fail, only guarantee's that it will. can't wait to see what he does next...
Sasuke becomes leader of Darkness village in the center of the three swords alliance~ brilliant!
Adding in pre-existing characters from games/anime gives it that amazing fanfic(nerd) feeling while adding subtle background for characters that we can recognize or look up!, for great examples: Miya(sekirei) Gin(Agame Ga kill) everybody recognizes the Sekirei girls instantly while Gin required a bit more remembering/searching
Did shadow clone D leave a corpse? was somewhat unclear... they made him a grave, but if he just 'poofd' then.. why
? it would have been clear to any shinobi that it was a bushin.. is the corpse-DNA the same as Naruto's? can Kabuto edo-tensei D? can he resurrect Himself!?
Why... in all stories "so far" does it feel like a perpetual blue-ball to any attempt at a second chunin exam including Naruto... Canon-Naruto's time-skip caused the entire story to speed up faster and faster... but even now it's impossible for him to graduate from being genin.. how did they let him become hokage....
I had to consider Yamame's challenge: If the air transports are available, first attack the capital city killing the X Daimyo civilian casualties would be a bonus. Immediately(to minimize resources) retreat/refuel, by the time refueling is complete(4-8 hrs) Shinobi city will just be receiving news of the Daimyo's death and getting the political heat and confusion for it. commence attack on Shinobi city during confusion, focus on kage. depending on remaining forces after target, retreat or continue attack. if the city falls = victory, if forced to retreat, the X country loses Daimyo and kage at same time. between political confusion/accusations and military weakness, another country will surely take the opportunity to attack.
(interestingly I cut it down from being fire-country/kohona +naruto specific to being a one-size fits all attack plan. that has flaws, the Daimyo are protected by their own # elite shinobi and the various kage are strong on their own.)
I'm getting worried about how many Details/possible sidestories your dropping out/having to keep track of...
Chunin exam applicants you will have to keep track of. The 'Naruto' exams had what... 2 large countries and 5-7 smaller countries giving X genin teams(excluding Kaze because they only sent in team-Gaara to be a distraction) = X genin per chunin exam... you've built up 3 or 4 seasons? now add in lightning country + whatever Raikage/Sasuke is planning.
if another alliance/attack gets in before the next chunin exam i can only wonder why they even bother trying(or if Shikamaru will survive the paperwork from another...).
Vega(eternal-escaping-villian), S.I.N. Corporation(your building this one up for after you've got the 5 elements 'allied'!).
Water country/Mizukage negotiations, it will be interesting what those adventures will be like... and the Highschool DxD girls~
Sea country and the evil scientist.
Kurotsuchi how long can she maintain her kunoichi status/position while being sleep deprived with that kinda trauma?
Iwa is a chapter looking to be as complicated as Water country that's even harder to begin communications with...
How long till Bear Country falls to it's 'terrorists'...
If the black-market can get it's hands on that amount of demon miasma, 'the harem' should be able to get their hands on a decient amount through 'Priestess Shion'.
Senju-zetsu is the basic so, Sasuke-zetsu is the upgrade but will we see Madara-zetsu!?, if it works for senju and uchiha why not Hyuuga-zetsu?
Will the black kyuubi kill Sora(i hope so!)!? will Naruto simply force it out of him whole!?
Find out next time on Eroninja the Erotic Ninja~Eroninja
(#) Snafusam 2017-05-04
Finally had a reason to finish the last 100-ish episodes of Naruto Shippuuden (just to learn what the cannon-story finish was)
Questions that rise... "When" the hell did Madara create/control this Super-villain plan to subordinate Obito, steal and implant(without being there in person) the three-tailed bijuu into Rin plus that control seal...and then double-plan for her to make it to kohona(then what?) and for her to die(by her teammate) with Obito as a (two seconds away witness)? Seriously did Aizen jump multiverses!?
A control-seal that prevents suicide... How did Rin die, as a jinchuuriki(very hard to kill), from one shot she jumped in front of(suicide)... and 'not' have the three-tails go berserk?
Was all of the mid-fight scene history lessons/daydreams really needed!? did Sasuke/Naruto somehow remove the context of needing to restore chakra? there were many scenes where kyuubi went on about supplying Naruto chakra...but sasuke was keeping up/surpassing like candy being handed out. easily the last 100episodes were conducted in one day with enough space-time distortion to make the DBZ universe learn how to poop.
I'm guessing Eroninja storyline for this was coming out at the same time as the canon. I must say, I prefer Eroninja's. it leaves much fewer gaps/unbelievable moments, while being more believable story for a copy of the "heroes water" to be stolen instead of the super-weapon of the land of water-secrets.
Will we be seeing Chino (Chinoike clan) or Hinoko from shippuuden's ending episodes?
Dragonball girls...?
Strike the blood girls would be a question of translating power. for the most part they have "types" of power, without the context of volume.
Kore wa zombie desu ka has an equal challenge translating power.
Overlord girls would be interesting to see /if you're going by the light novel/, and how much of their power is translatable would primarily be the Pleiades or Floor Guardians...
Rosario +vampire has been mentioned before, but would they be limited by what was shown in the anime(a complete joke) or in the manga(F'n amazing!), because those power-scales are completely different. The manga ends with them being Fairytale-Dragonball scale existences(surprisingly fitting to Naruto).
Shinmai maou no testament would be a strange inclusion... their translation would have them getting stronger the closer they became(emotionally) to Naruto... hmm it could be a nice way to promote civilians to fight-capable individuals...
Heavens lost property would be an amazing inclusion of the other side of the spectrum in terms of demon/devil/angels however that power scale('might be' alright if there are no 'cards' left). however the 'conquering/claiming' storyline would undoubtedly be amazing...
Date a live girls unfortunately go backwards having damn near infinite power being sealed by protagonist to be 'practical'...
Fate-series girls are incredibly hard to crossover into any other multiverse in terms of storytelling for a picture/video is one thing, but the characters are too intertwined into it's own story to be linked(easily) into any other.
Sword art online, Familiar of Zero, Demon king Daimou, One piece, so many girls, almost all of them unusable because of untranslatable/nonexistent power... if there are civilian/princesses in the later stories you could probably pull them from Familiar of Zero nicely... but the translating gaps...
Sorry, I've wound up ranting/bainstorming on your review page.
I wonder where Rukia kuchiki, Orihime inoue, isane kotetsu, Lisanna Strauss, Wendy Marvell, Chelia Bleny is hiding in Eroninja... oo, how long till Erza...Eroninja
(#) Draconian257 2017-05-11
Pre-Script: Hi Sage. You can feel free to skip this review, as you've already read it before. It is a re-post of the first half of my first ever review, which I had posted against Chapter 84 of Erroninja. Having discovered that you can make reviews against the story in general I figured it made more sense to move it here.
For those who read reviews before reading the story, please beware of potential spoilers for events up through chapter 84.
Greetings Lemon Sage,
First off, I want to apologize in advance for the length of this review, as this is the first time I've written a review for any fan fiction; let alone one as lengthy as Ero-Ninja. Since this is my first review for the story it will be part general review of the experience as a whole up to this point, before diving into specific notes related to chapter 84.
Secondly, I would like curse you from the depths of my soul for writing not one, not two, but three stories that I simply cannot get enough of, and must therefore languish in a hell of anticipation while awaiting the publication of the next chapter. Seriously, thank you so much for writing such excellent tales which take the shameful mess that the world of Naruto cannon became by the end, and resurrecting it as something far more expansive and meaningful; a world supported by excellent plotting, fleshed out with a logical and interconnected web of political, economic, social, and historical underpinnings, and filled with vibrant characters who all have their own ambitions and drive (as opposed to being walking talking window dressing). And that's not even mentioning all the hot and heavy action that flows just as naturally as the rest of the narrative. At this point I can definitely say that Ero-Ninja is, bar none, the single greatest piece of fan fiction I've had the pleasure to read; with The Pride and The Promise both being close behind.
Alright, enough with the praise and thanks for your writing talent in general, and on to my thoughts on Ero-Ninja as a whole, supported by some examples from previous chapters.
As mentioned above, one of the things I like most about your stories, Ero-Ninja in particular, is the amount of work that has gone into expanding the world in a believable fashion. Whether it be the differing styles of government found among the shinobi villages, such as the interplay of the varying power level and areas of influence shown between the Civilian Council, Clan Council, and Hokagke in Konoha vs. the more dictatorial style practiced in Kumo (with Ay's cult of personality); or the way you've used economic realities to help spread and cement Naruto's ambition; you have crafted a complex world where the gears of its inner workings make sense and that provide a much needed sense of realism to a fantastical world. For example, having previously mentioned in the chapters set in Hotspring village that the Land of Water was being price-gouged by the major shipping companies, due to its separation from the mainland, I found that it made perfect sense that the Mizukage would make use of Kin's fact-finding mission from chapter 5 of Little Black Book to get the more established companies to lower their prices; all without having to put her village at the mercy of a new entrant that could prove to be too good to be true. Moreover, having such a detailed world provides a larger sandbox within which you can place the many moving pieces of your plot.
Speaking of the plot, I really appreciate how you have the story being moved along not only by the actions of everyone's favorite hyperactive knuckle-head, though he's certainly grown substantially in the maturity department as written by you; but that the needle is also being moved through the actions of his lovers: such as Hinata's plans for the Branch Family to purchase a port in Rice Paddies, or how Konan has decided to reform Akatsuki, or the little sting operation Tayuya pulled on those scumbag producers in her Limelight chapter, not to mention the villains. In-fact, in terms of villains you've easily surpassed Cannon Naruto by not only introducing hints about Kaguya and her son early enough for their eventual reveal to not seem to be coming out of the blue, but also allowed you to properly set up multiple paths for her return; which would make sense given how long her son was supposed to have been quietly manipulating events from the shadows for thousands of years. So, while Tobi's Akatsuki may have been sent reeling, and menaces like Danzo and Orochimaru have been dealt with, we can still look forward to: the vengeance of a re-invigorated Sasuke and whatever deal he has worked out with Prime Minister Honest of the Land of Crows, the mysterious designs of a deeply entrenched cult and their connection to the Hyuga, the two halves of a very bloody coin in the form of the One-King and Eternal Sunrise movements, Kabato's scientific curiosity into the properties of Naruto's Chakra, the machinations of one M. Bison and his criminal syndicate, and the enigmatic Shadow Cabal (that seems to have a vested interest in several of the aforementioned), all before even getting to what I assume will be the penultimate showdown with Kaguya's son . Add to that those who may or may not prove to be major obstacles, and likely not in the same vein as your typical dyed in the wool villains, such as the Daimyos and the politics of their courts, other users of the Binding like Kanji, other Corrupter hunters like Suzume, localized threats like the Salamander Resistance, and some name drops (like Sosuke Aizen and Kaname Tosen in Kumo) that are likely up to something of their own (if not linked to any-one else), and it becomes easy to see why you once said that you were still in the setting up phase despite being more than 50 chapters in. I for one am definitely looking forward to how matters continue to unfold and evolve over the planned course of Ero-Ninja parts 1,2, & 3. With this many antagonists there are plenty of players to keep the ball rolling even against a protagonist that can currently count 1 Sage, 2 Kage, 3 Daimyo, and the majority of the Bijuu among his many allies.
Of course, what gives the story its heart, and a large part of why I can't get enough of it, is how well you've written the characters that populate the world. How you've had those characters grow and change in ways that make sense from where you chose to have your tale diverge from the Cannon time-line; especially considering where that ended. Having primarily watched the anime, I was always rooting for Hinata to take the inspiration that she derived from watching Naruto while loving him from afar, and run with it in order to show real growth and give Sakura, who I always thought was the one that would actually end up with Naruto, a run for her money. Unfortunately for my personal preference, Hinata never took those opportunities. The closest Hinata came to breaking out of her shell came when she tried to aid Naruto against Pain, but afterwards she faded back into obscurity (And as you pointed out in one of your Deviant Art posts, the Anime's take was far more flattering for both her character and her effectiveness when compared to what transpired in the manga). As such, I was resigned to Sakura winning out, which I was fine with; if the person who had first noticed Naruto's worth couldn't muster the will to make her feelings known than it made sense for it to be the comrade in arms, that the main character had always had his heart set on, to be the one to come out on top. So you can imagine my shock when instead Sakura ends up with Sasuke of all people; given his crimes he shouldn't have ended up with anyone at all. Ultimately, the pairings we were given at the end made a mockery of, and was a disservice to, the characters as portrayed up to that point. Which is why I am so very, very glad that you have treated them (the characters) so respectfully in your work. You have truly breathed new life into these characters for me. In-fact, I find your versions of the characters to be so well written, so real, that despite having a soft spot for the soft spoken Hinata, and fully believing that from a Canon perspective Sakura should have been the one to win the guy, I find myself really enjoying Ino's portrayal, as she is currently my favorite female character in the story; she's spunky, sexy, and devious as hell in getting other ladies to jump into Naruto's bed. While on the topic of women jumping into Naruto's bed, I wanted to point out another trait in how you handle the characters in Ero-ninja; which is that the women which join the Harem are given appropriate arcs to detail falling deeper into Naruto's orbit (loved Sakura's slow realization of just how much she missed Naruto, or Yoshino's moonlighting as a dancer at Club N), or in the case of some who were more quickly seduced giving the, moments of doubt and reconciliation (Ino pulling away after Kin's mindscape rescue, Anko's pulling away following that hilarious omake at the end of one of the recovering Mojo arcs, and Hinata's moment of self-doubt after Sakura's inclusion). As an aside, I'm loving the scene's where Anko gets Toki involved while playing with her Toy; also loved Yakumo's induction as she was one girl who had surmised what was going with Naruto beforehand but still eagerly sought him out. All in all I feel Ero-ninja, and your other two harem lemons, thrive because all the characters have defined personalities, which are then believably molded by the events within the story, bringing them all to life and giving them real reasons to form the connections that they do between Naruto and each other.
Before moving on to notes more geared towards chapter 84 in particular, I would like to offer a few brief thoughts on The Pride and The Promise in relation to Ero-Ninja.
In regards to The Pride, I really like the dichotomy between your portrayal of Naruto and how he goes about forming the respective harems. In Ero-Ninja we have a Naruto who, in part because of the breadth of his ambition, but also due to being in possession of a Jutsu that can raise a nearly uncontrollable level of lust in any woman and then Bind them to his wishes no matter what the woman herself might desire; has needed to approach building his harem in a more deliberative and restrained, though still heartfelt, manner; lest he fall into the type of moral trap that Kanji hoped to set for him. In contrast, in The Pride we have a Naruto whose pheromones, while powerful, only effect the behavior of those who, on some level, would desire Naruto, and can't not be used to unilaterally override the will of the women effected. This frees Pride Naruto to be more spontaneous and aggressive in pursuing his conquests; as he knows he has already received a form of invitation should they show signs of arousal. As a secondary note on The Pride, I'm also really enjoying the way that Sakura is acting as a driving force within it.
In regards to The Promise, I find the smaller size of the Harem to have its own charm, since it should allow for all the girls involved to get more consistent screen time. Also, I'm loving how perverted Hanabi is proving to be; an actual check list of fantasies and sex acts she wants to engage in with Naruto, that's a level of dedicated perversion that Jiraiya would be proud of. Sad to see Hinata going all Yandere and being set up as an antagonist, but given that the story has her being sequestered within the Hyuga compound since before the public matches of the Chunin Exams were held, and quite possibly removed from active shinobi duty, it makes sense that her character would fall into a very dark place as she is removed from the majority of positive social interactions she experienced in Cannon, and subjected to the soul-crushing environment the Hyuga seem to be in the story. Fingers crossed for a well plotted, if likely arduous, redemption arc for Hinata.
Eroninja
(#) Draconian257 2017-05-11
(Forgot the end section)
Alright, that concludes this review. Thanks again Lemon Sage for all your hard work in producing this little slice of fan fiction heaven for us to enjoy. Looking forward to whichever story you choose to update next. Also, having seen in your Sages's Corners how much you appreciate reviews I will seek to keep current on that front, and will at some point get around to doing reviews for all the earlier chapters. Though I'm definitely thinking I'll try to trim down on the verbage; my apologies again for the massive wall of text.Eroninja
(#) 1Accident 2017-05-21
Second review I have ever done, but just wanted to say how much I have enjoyed this story. I have re-read it 4 or 5 times and this time read all the reviews you have been given. Though like some I cant agree with all the philosophical points I love the world building and look forward to reading for years to come.
Eroninja
(#) KorinDragoon 2017-05-25
Well to start off great fic abit long but this good.
Now I need the help of the fan-fiction community, I'm looking for a Naruto fanfic that I can't remember the title of or what site I read it on. When I last read the fic it had 3-4 chapters, now what I remember is that Naruto got bored one day and realized that with a combination of the Kage Bushin and his sexy jutsu he could get a faux girlfriend to practice with, after naming the transformed clone she took on a life of her own that sleeps in Naruto's subconscious till called out, when he goes to call her out again after dismissing her the first time his dark side possesses the sentient clone to both get out and get the same recognition as the sentient clone. After a failed attempt to seduce Naruto the dark clone runs off into the village to get the affection/recognition she craves Naruto gives chase and she finally get what she wanted from him and he gains two sentients living in his subconscious. Can you all help me find this fic?
If you know the fic I'm looking for can you send me a PM to my fanfiction.net account, user name Korin Dragoon, with the name and site of the fic, PLEASE and THANK YOU.Eroninja
(#) Draconian257 2017-05-25
For those reading the reviews before reading the story; Please beware of spoilers, particularly for an event that happens in chapter 80.
Hello Lemon Sage,
I have a question concerning the geography of the world of Eroninja: Is the Land of Fire / Konoha situated along the equator?
I ask because thus far the story has spanned nearly three years worth of time in-universe, but weather conditions are rarely mentioned; so I'm assuming 99% of the action seen thus far takes place on days with pleasant weather that doesn't require extra layers. If the story is set along the equator this is almost, kind of, sort of, maybe believable. But if the climate of the Land of Fire is more variable, like say New England, then it really blows a hole in my suspension of disbelief when I stop to think about it; granted that isn't often as the plot, character interactions, and action tend to take center-stage, leaving thoughts about the weather by the wayside.
To date the most prominent uses for the weather have been: during Chapter 16:Target Konan & Chapter 17: Target: Shiho, where it was used to highlight the fact that Konan has been taken to Spring/Snow, provide Konan with some symbolic imagery for her choice to reform (pristine snow over a dirty city), as well as the fact that Spring can't keep the thermal generators on constantly without risking the fertility of the soil (nice touch there by the way). In Sakura's Limelight: A Heart No Longer in Autumn, the weather is used in a dream to symbolically showcase Sakura's joy at being in a relationship with Naruto while fearing what a confrontation with Sasuke could cost. In chapter 36: Target Rin the weather is cold, requiring some up-close and personal time between Naruto and Rin to keep warm following his fall into a nearby river, after sustaining a severe injury. In Chapter 5: Gathering Intel Before Establishing a Beachhead of Little Black Book, where the heavy fog experienced by Kiri helps lend it an ominous air; and in Chapter 38: Know Pain part I & Fu's Limelight: Home is the People You Live For, where the near constant rain is driven by Ame's depiction in Cannon. Counting the two visits to Ame separately that's six times the weather has really been described in significant detail, not exactly a lot in retrospect; especially when one of those occasions was in a dream.
Now to be fair, there were two other occasions, in addition to the six previously mentioned, where the weather helped accentuate the mood (Chapter 82: Revenge Arc Intermission: Hot for Teacher! where it rained the day of the funeral for Sakura's father) or to match-up with the time of year (Kurenai is wearing a jacket to keep the cold at bay on her date with Naruto in Chapter 75: Moving Forward by Standing Still: Part II, the same chapter with the New Year's eve charity auction), but didn't make a lasting impression as I didn't recall them until I came across them while re-reading the story. Still, even if these last two didn't stick with me like the first six they did aid the scenes the appeared in.
As such the one of the few constructive criticism I can make, that is non-grammar related, would be to increase the use of varied weather, or setting descriptions in general, used in the story to increase the sense of immersion. As an example of what I mean here are the first few paragraphs from chapter 5 of Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind:
Richard held back the boughs of the tree. "This is a wayward pine," he announced. "Friend to any traveler."
It was dark inside. Kahlan held the boughs aside so he could see by the moonlight to strike steel to flint and start a fire. Clouds scudded across the moon, and they could see their breath in the cold air. Richard had stayed here before on trips to and from Zedd's, and had made a small fire pit of stones. There was dry wood and to the far side a stack of dry grass he had used for bedding. Since he didn't have his knife he was thankful he had left a supply of tinder. The fire was quickly started, filling the interior of the tree's skirt with flickering light.
Richard was not quite able to stand under the branches where they began growing out from the trunk. The branches were bare near the trunk, with needles on the ends, leaving a hollow interior. The lower branches dipped all the way to the ground. The tree was fire-resistant, as long as one was careful. The smoke from the small fire curled up the center, near the trunk. The needles grew so thick that even in a good rain it remained dry inside. Richard had waited out many a rain in a wayward pine. He always enjoyed staying in the small but cozy shelters as he traveled the Hartland.
In the span of three paragraphs you get a very good sense for what a wayard pine tree looks like, what it is used for, as well as how the two travelers are currently in need of a warm shelter. Granted, this much description might not fit your style since the majority of the Eroninja is either talking, lemons, or action; but I feel that additional description would lend itself to increased immersion in the world as you envision it. Now since you're using a world and characters already established in visual media a lot of the leg work is already done for you, as your readers likely have an excellent idea of what Naruto, Sakura, and others look like, or what various locations, like Konoha look like; or can quickly figure it out with a quick Google image search. Still, I do feel that the story could benefit from additional description, particularly when dealing with your own additions; for example, what does Kiyomi's property look like? We've gotten descriptions for the various hot springs, some of the rooms (mostly the library and study), and we know that there is at least enough room for one training field; but beyond that we don't know much about the property, which is implied to be fairly substantial, or what the house looks like from the outside.
Now, if you were to chose to focus only on one area to add additional detail I would recommend concentrating on the weather, as the start of this critique stated, and I would do so by deciding on what the standard weather ranges are for each area of the continent per season, and then plotting out in what season a given on screen event is likely to occur. This would help in two ways. First, it would provide a better sense of the passage of time, as we would be able to see/feel the march of time within the story itself, as the weather depicted that progress through the seasons; as opposed to now where the only clear marker of time is Naruto's Birthday, and everything else is mentioned as being weeks or months removed from some previous event detailed in the story. While this does provide some sense of when things occurred relative to each other, it is rather nebulous as to when in the year something is actually occurring unless we want to work backwards through events to the last birthday. I feel that showing us which season events are transpiring in, through greater reference to the weather, and on top of the time references already employed, would give the reader a more readily grasped picture of when an event is occurring and a more visceral sense of time passing; without tying events to too strict a time-line. Second, in addition to providing a greater sense of atmosphere to the story, knowing what the weather could be like would provide you with additional tools for affecting the story through the use of some Man vs. Nature conflict; a theme lightly touched on when Rin needed to use body heat to keep Naruto and herself warm following the fall into a cold river while on a cold day. Other examples of how the weather could be used to actually impact the story include: Impeding trade and travel due to the reliance on wagons and sail ships through-out much of the continent; heavy rains and snow can render mountain passes and river crossings impassable, or simply bog down travel on the dirt roads at lower elevations, while storms can blow ships of course or sink them. Rain and snow can also interfere with tracking a quarry. Droughts or flooding can both negatively impact the available produce and other plants used for trade. Heat waves with plenty of rain can help insects to breed, leading to the spread of disease. Finally a more specific example in regards to Konoha, had the area around the village been in the midst of a mild drought when Furofuki's tree drained the chakra from the surrounding forest, causing the plant-life to wither and brown, then the forests of Konoha could have been in-danger of potentially igniting into a conflagration due to careless travelers, intentional sabotage, or a as a result of heat-lightning.
Well, I hope you found my two cents constructive, and as always thanks for sharing your wonderful tale with us.
Author's response
Thank you for the suggestions.
To answer your question, I would say that it isn't along the equator, but positioned in the same temperature zones as California and Japan. As such, I don't feel there is huge degree of change in the seasons, with it being more rainy or dry. So primarily my basis would be California. I basis this on the fact in Fifteen years of the manga, we only saw it rain three times, usually to fit the mood. And it get down to Autumn like temperatures once when they attempted to shoehorn a scarf into the plot.in order to try and make Hinata relevant to the story while turning Naruto into a scumbag.
The reason I don't focus on the whether too often is so that when I do it sticks out. Furthermore, as I explained previously, the Naruto manga never gave me a reason to suspect the Land of Fire's whether was all that varied. After all, to me a place that could experience harsh winters and sudden freezing nights would never make their standard footwear open toed saddles.
Without really knowing the context of the story for the example you provided, I would say I feel he wasted three paragraphs where one would do. As for me, I prefer to let my readers' imaginations fill in such details since I feel it leads to better immersion for them. For example, I'm fortunate enough to have two artists doing scenes from Eroninja. They have both done a picture where they had the Taki Trio wearing their maid uniforms. StikyfinkaZ-003 came up with a unique design that was beautiful. While Shinteo gave the girls each different maid outfits taken from different styles of dress, both imaginations are just as valid due to how it was described. Whereas if I described the uniforms down to the last detail as the author of your example, then I define it for everyone.
The only time I really would do that though, is if I needed to strip them out of the uniforms, or some action needed to be performed where their manner of dress needed to be described. Then it becomes a matter that is relevant to the story, since delivering a kick would be easier in a sexy French maids uniform then a chambermaids. Your example of Kiyomi's mansion is another example of why, while I have described the entrance of Kiyomi's mansion. I did so in a way where it is still open to interpretation, after all when I pictured it I would have seen a foyer with marble and expensive oak staircases. When Stiky did his picture of the three Taki-nin he made it look like the one found in Scarface, which I like much better.
As to the seasons changing to better reflect time passage, well as stated I don't see the Land of Fire being set up that way. But more over, from the examples you provided, the whether is almost a another character, serving as an obstacle to a current task. Not really something someone is using to keep track of time, especially as the story might travel to a place with more extreme weather like the Land of Snow. But, another example is what season did the Course of Avatar take place over when they were in the Water Tribe and its the North Pole. Ultimately, that is why I use the birthday, I'm more concerned with the yearly passage of time rather than dialing it down to this event happened in this week of this year. To me, going into that level of detail just opens me up to future mistakes as it becomes another thing to keep track of.
But thank you for the suggestions.Eroninja
(#) Draconian257 2017-05-26
Thanks for the reply Lemon Sage.
Climate wise are you envisioning Central/Southern California or Japan? As the north of both regions can get snow regularly during the winter. (Japans year-round weather http://www.statravel.com/japan-climate.htm)
Excellent point about the foot wear. Though I wonder if it's either a holdover from before the village system was founded, or more likely, another example of Kishimoto not thinking all his choices through; as Kumo-nin are also depicted with open-toe foot wear (v45 pg 94) despite residing in a village situated up on the side of a mountain in the Land of Lighting, which is far to the north of Konoha and beyond the Land of Frost (which I'm going to assume has a fairly cold climate).
Fair enough, I can certainly understand where your coming from with wanting to give your readers more lee-way in imagining what a given scene looks like. I guess as someone who used to extensively play table-top RPGs like D&D, and is a heavy reader of fantasy novels (which to my mind tend to put extra effort into characterization and setting descriptions to make their fantastic worlds seem more real), I'm just accustomed to seeing more details actually detailed out for me. Speaking of fantasy novels, the context for the excerpt, which was taken from the 1st of a 14 novel series where most of the books clock in at between 550-650 pages, is that Richard (a woods guide) is taking Kahlan (a mysterious woman,later revealed to be the ruler of a neighboring land), who is on a quest to find a reclusive wizard, to see his grandfather Zedd (who turns out to be the reclusive wizard), after narrowly avoiding a run in with the Darken Rahl (the BIG BAD), who was trashing Richard's house for a book of mystical instruction that his father had stolen from Rahl.
True, most of the examples I gave were for how the weather could be utilized as a source of conflict; that was more to suggest a way in which you could use natural phenomenon to impact that story if you desired, much like you have also used politics and economics as tools to drive the story. In terms of denoting the passage of time through the use of weather, I was thinking more along the lines of mentioning what the weather was like every couple of chapters or so to peg what season events were taking place in.Though I certainly can understand your point about how using a thematic element sparingly can make it more memorable. I also agree whole hardheartedly that trying to peg events all events to a specific week, or even month, could open you up to potential continuity errors.
Speaking of the Land of Snow, is it, or any other area of the continent, close enough to the poles that they experience times when the sun (or moon) never seem to set during the summer (or winter)?
Your Welcome.Author's response
When I refer to both I'm talking the more year round temperate locations, as almost any place can have a radical extreme from what most of the state or country sees.
I would always lean towards Kishimoto just not thinking it through. After all, as your Kumo example would infer, regardless of how the rest of the Country looks like, if you're that high up in the mountains its going to be rather cold with plenty of snow. Which if that is the case, you aren't going to be using sandals since toes would be the first thing to go when the frost bite hits. But, I tend to view Kumo to be built on a relatively small mountain, particularly as the combined shinobi army gathered in the valley leading up to it, and it could still be seen in the background. The Land of Lightning also has a desert so truth be told I imagine it as being more like Nevada or another western state then a cold frozen one.
Which leads me into your question at the end about Snow, to which my answer would be no. I'm imagining that when you see the Naruto map, you are imagining a world pretty similar in size to ours. Thus you may picture the Elemental countries as taking up a portion of the world similar to Asia and Europe. But you see when I look at the Naruto world map, I picture it as taking up about as much room as Japan does. Meaning the world is actually much larger then our own. Naturally this doesn't come up since for the most part the Elemental Countries are rather isolated. Thus to me the reason Snow was perpetually frozen, was because of how high most of the country was located above sea level, rather then how close it was to the pole.
Well, despite not playing D&D myself, I do understand why you would need things defined so clearly. There you are working with a party, and you can't exactly leave room for interpretation when everyone is needing to base decisions off of the same information. You can't have a guy thinking a troll is coming at him from one direction while everyone else believes it is on the opposite side of the room. Since a lot of Fantasy novels were born from it, I can see why it would carry over into the writings.
The other reason that I wouldn't use weather as a determinate about a point in time , is because of places like the land of snow. There does it really matter if it is summer or winter, if it is a place with constant snow fall when the generators are not on. If I reach a point where Naruto is bouncing back and forth between locations, then I feel it could lead to more confusion if I'm describing snow in one chapter, and then a boiling hot day the next, provided people are using the weather to determine the passage of time.Eroninja
(#) Draconian257 2017-05-26
Thanks very much for the second response Lemon Sage.
I most definitely was not imagining the map of the Elemental Countries to be so compact in terms of scale. Though I suppose I should have picked up on it since there was an in story clue.
(in Chapter 54: Target: Samui, Darui describes the Great Tree Shipping Company's escort missions as being "around a few weeks long since you can choose to make a trek all the way to Suna after passing through the Leaf.”)
If the map's scale was in line with Eurasia just the first portion of a trek from Kumo to Suna would take more than a few weeks at the speed a loaded, horse drawn wagon can make over unpaved roads; let alone tacking on the return leg of the trip. Makes much more sense if the map shows an area around the same size as Japan or California.
Thanks for the clarification on the geography!
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