Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco

Keep Your Heart Broken

by BilvyandRyrp 1 Reviews

a songfic for the song Keep Your Heart Broken by The Rasmus blargh it's RyanxWilliam (again?!) shh yes -Ryrp who still can't write worth shit

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG - Genres: Angst,Drama - Characters:  - Warnings: [!!!] - Published: 2013/01/21 - Updated: 2013/01/21 - 1306 words

Enfolding your love in my heart
By the dawn I'll be gone
The road keeps us apart
For some time I'll be gone


"I don't want you," William breathes out and steadies himself against the table in the coffee shop they were sitting inside, "but I don't want anyone else to have you."

"I-I don't understand," Ryan whispers back, voice high pitched and almost desperate. He knew this moment was inevitable. William responds by rubbing his forehead and pinches the bridge of his nose. He never expected it to be this hard.

"I mean," He pauses and stares into the younger's eyes before drawing his attention back to the table, "I don't want us to be together right now, but I don't want you to be in a relationship with anyone else."

You promised to swallow your tears when I leave you
You promised to follow the leads I will give you
You said you would crawl in the dark from the laughter
You said you would long after me ever after


Ryan chews on his lip for a few seconds and plays with the sleeve of his shirt. He tries to process everything all while trying to be strong because, well, they are still in public and the last thing Ryan wants is to breakdown in the middle of Starbucks (or maybe it was Tim Hortons), "Okay." He finally says after almost a full minute of silence. It's such a simple word but it's overfilling with betrayal and heartbreak. Ryan rests his forearms on the side of the table, locks his fingers together, and stares down at the light brown tiles on the floor.

"Okay?" The older looks slightly taken back and almost offended that Ryan's taking this so easily. Ryan responds with a deep breath and a quick nod. "Babe, I just... I-I just need some time to think about everything. Plus with my band taking off the way it is, it's just..." William sighs and rubs the back of his neck, "i-it's complicated." Ryan nods again in understanding.

My love will grow black if your heart gets stolen
Just promise to keep your heart...
One day I'll come back if the door's still open
Just promise to keep your heart broken


"Promise me something?" Ryan's head snaps up towards William, "Wait for me, kid." He reaches forward to brush a piece of hair out of Ryan's face. "Keep your heart broken for me."

The younger bites back tears and forces his eyes close, "How do I know you'll come back?"

"I always do, baby," William smiles this stupid half smile that makes Ryan want to reach over and smack him in the face but also kiss him at the same time. He knits his eyebrows together and leans further forward so that their faces were only inches apart, "You don't trust me?"

"I do, but..." Ryan shakes his head, resists the urge to kiss William by leaning back in his chair, and rubs at his eyes with the heels of his hands, "I'll always wait for you, William, you know that." He hates to admit that. He wishes he could tell him 'no' and move on, but Ryan was dependent on William. He was completely helpless without his lover to guide him. When Ryan's father died William was right there to hold him and tell him everything would be alright. Ever since then Ryan became clingy and relied on William. "I promise."

"Good. I promise I'll be back for you, I swear," And with that, William stands up and leaves.

Days go by like the wind
And this life is too short
It makes no sense to give in
To release you from my thoughts
I promised to write you, I'll always remember
I promised to try to be back 'til December
I said I must go, I must face this disaster
I said I would come after you ever after


Ryan gets a letter in the mail three years later. It doesn't say much, just a phone number and five words, 'Did you keep your promise?' but he knows exactly who it's from.

My love will grow black if your heart gets stolen
Just promise to keep your heart...
One day I'll come back if the door's still open
Just promise to keep your heart broken


Everything aches. Literally everything. The winter months are so hard on Ryan and without his knight in shining armor to protect him, he's doomed. His fingers ached from reaching for his phone, dialing William's number, and then shutting his phone off; only to turn it back on a few minutes later and repeat the process. His eyes ached from crying, which is also probably why he had a head ache too. Just his whole body in general was in pain. He was sitting at his kitchen table, cradling his face in his hands, and staring at the black cell phone in front of him.

He reaches for the phone again (this was, what, the sixth time so far) but was ultimately stopped by two loud knocks coming from the front door. With shaking legs Ryan stands up and walks over to the piece of wood and metal separating him the outside world. When the brunette opens the door he honestly didn't expect to see William, long limbs and all, standing outside in the freezing December air. He gasps and brings his hands up to cover his mouth.

If you just promise to keep your heart
Promise to keep your heart broken
If you just promise to keep your heart broken
Broken


William flashes a smile at Ryan and opens his arms slightly, "I promised I'd come back," and Ryan, despite wearing nothing but skinny jeans and a t-shirt, all but lunges himself at William and wraps his arms around his neck. The older wraps his arms around Ryan's waist and pulls him closer.

"I've missed you so much," Ryan cries into William's neck and clings tighter to him. William mumbles a 'me too, Ry,' and brings one hand up to rest on the back of the other's neck.

They stay like that for a few minutes (although they both can swear it felt like more), but eventually Ryan gets cold, so they walk back inside stumbling, smiling, laughing, and stealing kisses every few seconds.

My love will grow black if your heart gets stolen
Just promise to keep your heart...
One day I'll come back if the door's still open
Just promise to keep your heart broken


"I told you I'd wait," Ryan says it in a matter-of-fact way, like he deserves some kind of reward. He looks over his shoulder at William, who was sitting at the kitchen table, watching the younger make coffee. To Ryan, everything felt surreal. Like William really wasn't there. Maybe it was just the shock of seeing him again. He hands William a cup filled with hot coffee and leans back against the kitchen counter, waiting for the other to say something.

William responds by nodding and taking a sip of his drink, "Not a day went by when I didn't think of you." Ryan smiles adoringly and bites his lip.

"I love you too," Ryan takes a long drink before grabbing William's hand and dragging him off to his, their, bedroom.

Forever and after my love
Just promise to keep your heart broken



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A: woohoo so i don't know what the fuck this is but i wrote it at like 6 in the goddamn morning yay let's just all appreciate my sucky ass writing fml someone shoot my face pls -Ryrp

also for those of you who wanted a semi-sad ending:

When Ryan wakes up the next morning William's long gone and he's left with an empty feeling. But he knows William will come back. He always does.
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