Cooking lessons after class can be murder to some teachers.
Let's skip ahead to my college years. I was studying art and I also took an evening cooking class for extra credit. There was six girls and, counting me, seven guys in there. The teacher was Mr. Lauder.
The girls in the class liked me a lot. They acted shy around me when they asked me to pass them any cooking utensil. They giggled everytime they looked at me. I couldn't blame them. I'm pretty fucking sexy. I flirted with them shamelessly. The guys couldn't care less about me and neither did I with them. Mr. Lauder, however, was a major asshole.
He thought everything I did was wrong. "The salmon is undercooked". It wasn't. "You used too much paprika". I didn't. "You didn't follow the rescipe right". No I fucking didn't. To add insult to injury, I was the only one he did this to. To him, I was the stupid goth art misfit that didn't belong in his class.
How wrong he was. Totally fucking wrong. He should knew that it is never wise to make me mad. I do very bad things when I'm mad.
One night, Mr. Lauder asked me to stay after class so we can have a talk. Here I was, watching the other students leaving and Mr. Lauder closing the door. I tapped my fingers against the table, waiting patiently.
Mr. Lauder came over and looked at me, "Mr. Way, you're failing my class".
Gee, I wonder why. Would that be because you're an asshole, Mr. Lauder?
"Failing? How am I failing?" I asked.
Mr. Lauder lookeed at me seriously, "Because I don't believe that you are worthy of serving or cooking at a fine culinary establishment".
Oh, I get it. This isn't because he didn't like me. This was because I was a talentless hack who doesn't deserve to be in his precious class. I glare at him like I was try to set him ablaze.
Mr. Lauder smiled at me cruelly, "So, it is my duty, obligation, and sincere plasure to fail you and make sure that you will never graduate from this class, Mr. Way. Now you may leave and go back to your pathetic life".
Okay. That's it. The motherfucker's gotta die.
I smirked at him, which I guess was pretty good because he looked like he was scared shitless. "Well then," I said very casually. "At least let me turn in my last and most enjoyable assignment. My own creation. I call it Fried Lauder with sweeted heart".
Mr. Lauder didn't have time to respond when I grabbed a fistfull of his hair in one hand and a frosting compresser full of red frosting in the other. I tried to drown him in the cooking batter and then dragged him over to where the deep fryer was. I turned it on and said the only last words I would ever say to Mr. Lauder, "I'm sorry we never gotten along, Mr. Lauder, but I'll keep this time with you as a sweet memory".
I drove the compresser to his heart like I was killing a vampire. I pressed down the compresser until I couldn't see the frosting anymore. and shoved his face into the fryer. He moved frantically, trying to escape me. But it was no use. After two minutes, he died. So sad.
I pulled him out and I looked at his fried dead face. Forever frozen in a open-mouth scream. It looked pretty cool. So cool that I grabbed my sketchbook and started to draw his corpse.
After I was done, I grabbed his keys, left the classroom, and locked it up. I was about to head to my car until I heard my name escaping from a girl's lips. I turned and saw one of the girls from my class. I knew her name.
Petra Coolidge. Second-year. Long blonde hair. Green eyes. Gorgeous.
She walked over and said hi.
"Hey," I said.
"I thought you did great on that battered pork dish tonight", she said.
I smiled her, "Thanks. Mr. Lauder thought it sucked".
Petra shook her head, "No, it was great. I always thought Mr. Lauder was a total asshole to you".
"Huh. And here I thought I was the only who noticed that", I joked.
Petra didn't laugh. Instead, she bit her lip and said, "Gerard...you know I like you, right?"
I did, but I pretended I didn't, "No, I didn't know that".
She slided over to my side and said, "I think you did knew and I don't have anywhere else to go, so..." she whispered in my ear, "You can do what you want to me tonight."
I was shocked and I thought it was nuts that I girl I barely knew wanted to have sex with me. Then again, who I am to refuse a one-night stand with a beautiful woman?
I snaked my arm around her waist and smirked wickedly at her, "Well, shall we?"
Petra giggled and I led her away from my bloody cooking project that was locked in the class. All it mattered was how I was gonna make her scream my name tonight.
A/N: Sorry, had to re-edit. It sounded stupid after I read it and I was also up late that night. Please review.