“Ray, h-he’s in there, he’s fucking in t-there…” I stuttered, pointing to the door labelled ‘Mental Health – Intensive Care’.
“So tell me what happened!”
“He punched the doctors, they tried to-“
“You’re kidding me, shit.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I nodded my head regretfully.
Angels aren’t supposed to be in white rooms. He deserves heaven, not four padded walls.
“Have you talked to anyone?” Ray asked.
“Before you got here, I asked a nurse. He’s in there, but she wouldn’t let me in and I don’t fucking know shit and-“
He pulled me into a hug and held onto me tight, not saying a word.
“Ray…” I said. “What do we do now?”
“I don’t know. But we need to find someone who can tell us what’s going on, exactly.”
“We’re n-not allowed in there.” I said, pointing to the door again.
“So we’ll wait here until someone comes by. There are staff all over this place, someone’s bound to pass by at one point or another.”
He sat down against the wall behind us, and I followed suit.
I want to know what’s wrong with him. I have a right, I have a fucking right. Isn’t the doctor supposed to call us?
SHIT he punched the doctor.
I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in my arms. I’m Frank Iero for fucks sake, I’m not supposed to cry. Or at least nobody’s supposed to see me cry. So I’ll sit here, a pathetic lump of swollen eyes, tears, and confusion.
And nobody will know, because my face is hidden.
“You gonna be okay?” Ray asked, placing his hand on my shoulder comfortingly.
“T-That depends whether G-Gerard will be. I suppose.” I answered from beneath my arms’ protection. “Ray, Mikey needs to be here.”
“Shit, I was so caught up in this mess that I forgot about Mikey…”
“I can’t call him. Please, please call him.” I cried.
He took his phone out of his pocket, dialled Mikey’s number, and put it up to his ear. I could faintly hear the ringing, but I hoped to the dear Lord that I wouldn’t be able to hear the heartbreak, the shock in Mikey’s voice when he heard the news.
It’s not like I don’t feel it. The shock and the heartbreak. But it’s Mikey’s brother we’re talking about. Mikey’s gonna feel it the worst of us all.
Ray’s distressed, too. He’s not showing it, but I can tell. He’s trying to keep it together for us – replacement glue and all – but he’s really upset.
“Hey, Mikes…” Ray said, his voice shaking a little.
“Hey Ray, where are you?”
Damn, I can hear. No, no, no, no, no.
“We’re at the hospital. You need to get here, right now.”
I put my hands over my ears, not allowing myself to hear Mikey’s reaction.
Maybe if I pretend it’s fine, it will be fine.
I stared intently at Ray, watching his lips move and fighting with myself to not try to lip-read. If I’m going to lip read, I might as well just man the fuck up and listen.
He looked down at the floor between his legs as he spoke and for a second, I thought I saw a tear hit the linoleum. But no, Ray Toro wouldn’t let himself cry. Not when I’m here, completely out of control of my emotions, sobbing like a child with a scraped knee.
Wouldn’t a scraped knee hurt less?
He took his phone away from his ear and stared at it a minute before putting it away. And this time, I did see a tear fall down onto the screen.
“I-Is he coming?” I asked, folding my hands over my knees.
“Yeah, he’s coming.”
“Making you call…”
“It wasn’t that bad, I-“
“Ray…” I sniffled. “His brother is in intensive psych, and may not be coming out for months for all we know.”
He cupped his hands around his mouth for a second, and again I caught a tear run down and through his knuckles.
“Is it better left unsaid?” I asked.
“Until he gets here.”
Like an angel sent from heaven, a man in scrubs passed by us and headed for the doors.
“Excuse me!” I nearly shouted, jumping up off the floor as fast as my jelly legs could handle.
“Can I help you?” He said as he turned around.
“My friend is in there and I need to see him, is there any way…”
“What’s his name?”
“Oh, Mr. Way!” He exclaimed with a bit too much enthusiasm for my comfort zone. “I’m afraid you can’t see him right now.”
“Why? Can you at least tell me what’s going on?”
“He’s on heavy sedatives right now.”
“But why?” I asked frantically. “What has happened since security took him away?”
“I can’t answer those questions, as I am both quite busy, and not qualified to give out that kind of information. If you want, I can get someone who can.”
“Please, I need to know.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” He said with a smile, and disappeared behind the two doors.
I looked back at Ray, who was still sitting on the floor with his hands around his mouth.
I hope Mikey gets here soon.