Categories > Original > Drama

Kiss My Hollow Wrists

by IcyBlues 0 Reviews

Just me mumbling about my life. BDSM, dichotomy and looking around as opposed to back and forwards...

Category: Drama - Rating: R - Genres:  - Characters:  - Published: 2013/01/25 - Updated: 2013/01/25 - 372 words

I used to think I knew what I wanted. Everything was black and white and, reflecting on it, I think I attracted these things to me by my pure obsession with them.

What I want isn't enough. I realise control isn't in skin and nerves.
Control is written in blood and tears.
I cannot afford what I want most.

I used to want love that thrived on obsession. My obsession with them turned to a sour, overdue need that can no longer be acceptably satisfied.

I used to want control. But now I no longer crave the baton or staff. Instead I am disillusioned and barely pushing the conversation.

I used to want a crutch and now my needs lie empty. I'm left with a want for a need and a desperation to decide my desires.

Basically, I feel like I've woken up after the past two years being simple desires that now have altered and changed so vastly I barely recognise myself.

Do I want to cut myself? I can't be bothered.
Do I want to kill myself? Not really.
Do I want to abduct a stranger? I can't be bothered.
Do I want to screw everyone I'd of died for? No.
Do I want to hurt anyone? I have no idea.

So who am I now if I'm not an eyes-down, silent plotting, lusty masochist?
I can't look at myself or the situation I've been thrown into the same.
I don't want to talk to strangers, I don't need the thrill.
I don't want to please them. I don't need the approval.

So I'm now left in a life I weaves so intricately that my surroundings know nothing else.
Kinda screwed until this all clears up.

Truth is, I now know happiness.
I can't say I'm happy all the time.
I can't say I don't long for an escape from myself.
Though I can now say I can wake up and have a reason to smile to myself like a smug little cunt. These past few months have been amazing and I can't believe how much my whole life has changed. I feel as if now I'm being thrown into the shit once more.
It's time to clear it out.
Log in to rate and review this story

Log in!

Register Lost password


You won't see stories with a lower score when you browse or search. Log in to adjust filter.


Featured Story

Site Stats

  • Authors: 667667
  • Stories: 39962

Recent Stories