I couldn't get away from his questioning in the kitchen, and I sure as hell didn't want to have it brought up with the others.
I flinched into the counter. He grabbed my wrist gingerly and held it out. With slow scared movements, he rolled up the rest of my sleeve. There stood the word WHORE. He swallowed loudly and took my other wrist in his hand.
Copying his actions, the word WEAK stood against my skin like neon lights in the night. "Tammy....." he breathed,shaking his head. "Did you do this?" I bit back tears.
I couldn't get out of this. He'd seen both arms now. Hopefully he wont notice the other scares along the rest of my body. "Tammy, cutting is a serious problem. Maybe we can get you some help." I shook my head quickly.
He thought I did this. Of course he did.
I took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. He let me cover my arms again and get away from the counter. Thee silent debate in my head was turning awkward as his eyes made my heart race.
"If I tell you, you can't say anything to anyone. Ever." I stressed ever. He nodded. "That's not good enough." I took out my pocket knife.
He jumped back a little. "Oh relax." I rolled my eyes. "Ever hear of a blood promise?" he shook his head. "That's where we promise on each other's blood. And if we break the promise, the one who did is made to bleed even more."
"How do we do it?" He asked nervously. I switched the blade open, setting in my hand like a piece of glass it was so shiny.
"Just trust me." I took his hand in mine, palm up. He flinched slightly as I put the tip of the knife to his skin. "Just breath." I looked in his eyes.
He stared back, not even noticing as I cut him. The blade was just that sharp. I turned to the sink and ran turned on the hot water, letting it heat to where it steamed.
I ran the knife under it for twenty seconds and put it to my palm, following the red line that had been broken. By John, of course.
That bitter thought made me dig a bit deeper than what I needed. Blood gushed around the blade making me smile a little. Gerard stared at the deep black that settled in my palm like an angry little pond.
"Okay, now we need a paper." I said as he looked at his hand. He stared at his own pond. "Paper. Fast, or it'll start drying in our hands."
He jumped slightly and opened a drawer. From it, he pulled out a huge piece of white paper. "Now copy what I do." I dipped my finger in my blood and wrote on the paper SECRET. He watched closely and wrote secret under mine. "And now..." I traced his with my blood and made a slid line through it.
He copied me in that too, which I didn't need to tell him. My hand twitched painfully. I poured the rest of my extra blood into the sink, running hot water over my hand and knife.
"Come on." I gestured to the sink. He stood beside me, washing his blood out of his hands as well.
"Now." He said, drying off his hands as I cleaned off my knife. "The truth." he threw the towel at me.
I dried off the sharp little blade and switched it closed. "My husband liked feeling like he was in control. He wanted me to know that he could end my life if he wanted, even."
Gerard's face was ashen. "He....." he gulped. "What did he do to you?" He gasped.
"What didn't he do to me?" I shoved the knife into my bag. "He raped me, beat me, stabbed me, cut me, drugged me, pushed me down the stairs, ran me over with the car, broke more bones than I can remember, shaved my head because my hair would tickle him in bed." I sighed. "Anyway, by the time I finally had enough, all I had left was my car, a body full of scars, trust issues and barely half a life."
He listened to my story with a horrified look in his eyes. I took a deep breath and smiled, putting my hands on my waist. "So, shouldn't we be cooking?" I put on my happy face.
No idea. My knee keeps twitching and I'm super fucking tired. R*R and all that you guys,
I should be able to update Good Luck and Good Night tomorrow. And for those of you who watch my youtube channel causeican274, I should be able to get a new video up by next Monday.
It'll be called Spirit Week Stupidity. Mostly because it's spirit week at school and my last one ever.
And looking t all of it, the things the school comes up with is all really, really stupid.
Ah no! That's for the video! Anyway, looks like you guys got a spoiler.
Hugs and Dry Wall,