(#) Lira_Snape 2006-08-01Your story is quite original and an interesting read. But there are two things I noticed that you have problems with: proper transitions (one moment Harry is in one place, the next we are in a totally different place). And a proper explanation of backgrounds (It still isn't completely clear to me how Harry finally managed to escape, where he suddenly got his metamorph-skills from, what other items he suddenly has and where from, etc.) A lot of time you describe something as "Harry has this or that." - but not much explanation as to where he got it from.
That detracts from your story a lot more than the minor grammar or spelling errors you have.
- I like this story the plot is well fleshed out with realistic detail and things like the theory of magic and the steps involved in learning control of magic are well thought out. Your grammer and spelling are impressive to me for a non-native english speaker; I'm sure I couldn't do as well in any other tongue. I hope you will find the time and inspiration to continue your story through to its conclusion. Thanks W.
(#) snarkygirl 2007-09-23I am really enjoying the twists and turns of this story. This is a very interesting take on Harry, as well as some of the other characters. I do hope you'll be updating frequently!
Unrelated question: you indicate that English isn't your first language, but don't say what is. Are you, by any chance, Polish? I ask because you write like a friend of mine who is Polish speaks -- omitting articles (a, an, the) before nouns sometimes and a few other things, as well.
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