As the things I loved so much disappear before my eyes, I know that I will always love you. That you will never return my love. And that my heart is doomed forever.
Why Frankie? Why did you do it? I whisper into the midnight air as I seize the blood ans tear stained envelope in my hands. Was is me? Could I have done some thing to stop this? I think as I rip open the ivory paper, twisting the note addressed 'GERARD' in swirly writing around in my hands. Here goes nothing, I think as I begin to read.
I am nothing, I am merely here to be invisible. To blend in, only to shine out when someone has a problem or can't do their math homework. I live only to serve others and as soon as they are done with me I am cast aside. I exist. Of course I do, everybody knows who I am, they just choose not to acknowledge my presence until they need me.
I'm sick of it. My best friend left me for his girlfriend. He'll come back to me when they break up. I take some pride in knowing that. But for some reason, it is no longer enough to know that he'll be back when he needs me. It used to be enough just knowing that somebody needed me... Now I'm not so sure. Now it seems that no-body needs me anymore. And if nobody needs you, that means you have outstayed your welcome. You must move on. And that is exactly what I intend to do. I only wish that I didn't have to, I love life, but I hate love. I don't understand the concept, it makes you as light and fluffy as a cloud for a while until it rips out from underneath you and once again you float on a broken dream. It is not that I am afraid of love as so many claim I am. It is more that I don't understand it. That I wish it didn't exist for it seems to cause more destruction than it does good. It also seems to be that the only time I am ever needed is when love is taken away, for that I should be grateful. But I am not, because that means that people only come to me in times of sadness, what happens if i'm sad? What happens if I can't take it anymore? I'm just supposed to sit there? To pretend the pain didn't exist? I've had enough. And that is what has brought me here. Sitting here, right now. I sit here knowing that my fate is inevitable, and knowign that I am a hypocrite because deep in my heart I know that the reason I hate love so much is because I can never gain it. I give it out so freely but never do I gain it in return. So I sit here writing this, as my weapons of self destruction are layed out before me. As the things I loved so much disappear before my eyes, I know that I will always love you. That you will never return my love. And that my heart is doomed forever.
My eyes brim with tears and for the first time in forever I let them slip across my cheeks, my salted flood trailing down my tinted cheeks, my pitch lashes wet with emotion. I can't take it. I start running, I don't know where, all I know is that I'm fast, a sudden burst of adrenalin send me forwards, I cant take it. Where am I going? I ask myself as I begin to see familiar surroundings etch their way across my dilated eyes.
And then it dawns on me. I know where I am.
I know what I have to do. I know what my heart is telling me. I need to be reunited with my
beloved Frankie once more. I need to protect him, to know that he's safe.
I climb up onto the railing.
They'll know why I did this, I just hope they'll understand, they have to understand.
"Goodbye." I whisper as I plummet to a self inflicted death, I feel, for once in my life, at peace. Knowing I can see my beloved Frankie, once again.
//AN// I hope you enjoyed it ma llama monkey people things!!! R;R