FicWad

Good points: I actually liked pretty much everything about this. It was beautifully written and it's clear that you've put a lot of thought into this piece. Normally I wouldn't go for anything written in 1st person but you make it work. The first chapter is also a really lovely length, not so long that the reader gets board but long enough that it's worth reading.

To improve: The storyline isn't that original but the style it's written in makes it work. I'd just be carful about the words you use when Gerard is describing himself, though I have pale skin I would never refer to myself as ivory in my head.

How to do this: Keep up the style of writing and make sure that your characters are interesting and can't be found in other stories. Think about the way you would describe yourself, though we all see G as an ivory skinned beauty man-god he clearly isn't thinking of himself in that way, so use more negative language. The poetic language isn't strictly a problem since G is an artist but be carful you don't get carried away.

Good work! Don't feel nervous about posting, this is a very good start!