I need reviews and comments :)
This is so not going to be my day.
I try to ignore everything and sleep through it.
I don’t want to get up and go to school, the world can function on its own without Frank Iero for a day.
My brain slowly begins to regenerate like one of those old computers as the annoying nudging in my arm becomes more defining, it’s now less a nudge than a squeeze. My radio alarm clock tones are turning into a familiar voice and I swear it’s singing my name…
“Come on Frank, wake up.” The words are fuzzy and linger just outside my ear.
“Hey! Please wake up.” I squeeze my eyes tight trying to block out the sound. I know you don’t hear through your eyes but give me a brake it’s too early to be logical.
You’re never logical.
stupid alarm, now look what you’ve done! You woke up the voice in my head. Shut up the both of you.
You’re so kind to me…sarcasm, did you pick up on it? Or are you just too stupid?
Shut the fuck up!
The squeezing in my arm turns into a soft yet sudden shake.
“Wake up!” The words are as clear as a brass bell at the front of an old steam train. It sends an electric current through my groggy body. That beautiful voice isn’t my alarm clock, it’s…
I spring to my feet alert with an alarming spike of pain twisting at the base of my skull.
“Gerard!” I gasp in a cringe worthy squeak. A rush of blood weakens my legs and causes me to collapse back down. Luckily Gerard catches me before I hit the ground and prevents me from forming any kind of injury to myself. He helps me to sit up slowly against the cool brick wall of his basement/bedroom.
“Are you ok, what happen?” He asks with concern and a gentle smile. I look into his gorgeous eyes, we both have hazel coloured eyes with only slightly deferent tones in certain lighting but his always seem to be more breath takingly stunning than mine. I love his eyes that sometimes (a lot of the time) I lose myself in them.
Stop staring, you freak.
The mental voice in my mind tells me as I quickly dart my eyes down, pretending that suddenly my shoe laces are the most interesting thing on this earth. They’re not really, nothing can ever be more interesting that Gerard’s eyes.
You’re such a creep.
I hope he’s not creped out by the way I was staring into his eyes.
I feel like cringing but that would just cause questions and I couldn’t possibly be able to think of a logical explanation.
“Frank?” He nudges me softly in the ribs with his elbow. I look up to see that he is now sitting next to me against the wall.
“Hu? What?” I ask in almost a daze.
“I asked ‘are you ok?’ and you kinda spaced out on me.” He tells me with a hint of amusement hanging off his tone.
I’m always ok when you’re near me. You make me feel like I’m floating in the sky.
My lips twitch to a sluggish smile due to the corniness of my thoughts. Gerard stares at me with a waiting expression across his features. I fuse my brows together.
What’s he waiting for?
He raises an eye brow at me as he waits for me to speak.
Wait… didn’t he ask me a question?
“Oh,” I slowly whisper in realisation.
“What did you ask again?” Gerard smiles with concern at me as I speak.
I should just face palm myself right now.
Why are you so stupid?
I don’t know.
“How hard did you hit your head?” He gives me a crocked smile and moves to sit in front of me again as he tries to play doctor, searching for a crack in my skull where my brains fell out.
“I hit my head?” I ask instantly feeling like an idiot (again).
But seriously…I hit my head?
That’s why the back of you skull hurts, dip shit. You must of cracked it against the wall before you blacked out.
I blacked out? I guess that’s a reasonable explanation as to why I woke up in his room.
Concern dominates Gerard’s expression as he watches me closely.
“I think maybe you should see a doctor or someone. I'll go tell my mom.” He goes to stand up but I grab his wrist gently without even thinking to stop him from leaving.
I hate doctors. They always look at you like they’re superior to you and speak in terms that don’t make sense to common people who haven’t done a medical degree at some fancy and expansive college that their parents probably paid for.
“No.” I say letting go of my hold on him as he sits back down in front. My eyes wander over his form as he looks down to check his wrist watch, his fringe falls to shield his face from my view and I so desperately want to reach out and tuck those strands of hair behind his ears.
God dam it! he is so ‘fuckin’ good looking.
The structures of his features are flawless. I adore his soft raven hair always looks like perfect chaos, even if it is slightly greasy from time to time. His pale skin looks so smooth and touchable. His nose seems to be the perfect shape and size for his face and his eyes…
“You’ve been out of it for five minutes.” He smiles as he lifts his head to look at me. I barely pay attention to what he just said as I lose all my brain cells at the adorable head flick he just did to move the hair out of his eyes. My mind is now deeply indulged in the ‘sweet eye candy’ sitting in front of me.
“Really?” I somehow manage to respond softly. My eyes casually wonder over the boy in front of me, when I look at his neck I wish I was a vampire just so then I would have an excuse to bite the pale flesh, softly I bite my bottom lip instead. My eyes linger on the nook between his shoulders neck then continue to glace at his shoulders completely, they look strong and slightly toned under his shirt and it makes me want to rip it right off his torso at this very second.
Wow…someone is just a bit savage right now, biting necks and ripping off shirts. Are you sure you’re not a vampire?
I’m not a vampire.
Then what’s your excuse for wanting to get physical with him? Could it be that maybe you’re-
I wonder if maybe Gerard works out, I know he doesn’t go to a gym. Maybe he dose push ups in the mornings or something.
I cut off the voice inside my head before it has a chance to bring a thought to the front of my mind.
Come on Frank you know Gerard struggles to even roll out of bed in the mornings let alone be able to do push ups.
Wait… am I having a conversation with myself?
Yeah, you are instead of just telling me to shut up.
Great, you know that’s like one of the first signs of insanity where you start talking to yourself?
I think it only counts if you start talking out loud.
Gerard starts to wave his hand in front of my face to catch my attention.
“Yo, Frank. Come back down to earth Frankie.” He holds his head slightly to on the side and ducks to connect our eyes.
“Sorry. My head hurts.” I mumble as tho it’s the answer to everything. Gerard just smiles at me as I rub the back of my skull. I sigh as I feel a round bump.
That is really going to hurt later on.
“You make me worry about you, Frankie.”
It sounds so cute when he calls me ‘Frankie’. It’s almost as cute as his smile, I wish my teeth were as white as his and those lips are just so kissable. I just want to kiss them… wait…
My body stiffens and my eyes go wide with horror. Gerard’s smile vanishes as it’s replaced by alarm.
“What is it?” He asks slightly panicked by my expression. My thoughts flood my mind.
I kissed him… or he kissed me… I think, maybe, I don’t know. Maybe it was just a dream, a sweet, sweet dream.
It would be just too awkward if we did kiss. I mean his my best friend, I see him nearly every day at school and on weekends, I only live down the road. I’m friends with his brother… and, and, and it’s just… way too awkward and confusing if we had kissed. Oh and did I mention were both guys… awkward!!! Don’t get me wrong I’m not homophobic, hell no, I just…it’s the whole…ummm…I don’t know.
My heart is racing as my head begins to spin and the room spins with it.
Ok, calm-the-fuck-down. It was probably a dream.
It wouldn’t be the first time that you fanaticized about him.
“Frankie what’s the matter? Are you ok?” I can tell that I’m scaring him.
I try and hide my horrified expression and avoid looking him in the eyes.
Think, think, dam you brain think.
“I just thought I seen a spider crawl under your bed.” I spit out fast pointing to his bed across the room. He turns his head to look at the bed I was pointing to. He knows I have a fear of spiders, so that’ll explain the horrified look.
“Dam it Frank, I thought it was something serious.” He relaxes and smiles but it’s tainted with concern. I can tell he’s suspicious about my behaviour.
“It is serious, it’s a mother-fucking spider Gerard.” I state, believing in my own lie. Gerard just giggles at me.
Fuck, I just grew ovaries and he exploded them with his giggle!
“I’m tiered.” I say as my eye lids begin to feel heavy and try to change my train of thought.
“I don’t think you should be sleeping so soon after hitting your head so hard, you might have some kind of concussion or something like that.” He said reaching out to rub my upper arm. The electricity in my body sparks and my heart starts to beat itself against my ribcage.
I need to get out of here before I do something awkward and that I will most likely regret.
I brace myself and push myself up using the wall as support. Gerard quickly stands up with me and holds his arms out ready to catch me if a fall.
“Where you going?” His tone slightly concerned and his expression is a mixture of worry and something else I can’t seem to describe right now. I continue to avoid making eye contact as I don’t trust my own actions.
“I need to…um…”
Need to what?
“Go home.” Gerard looks at me confused.
“Why?” He asks slowly clearly not satisfied with my short answer for my movements.
Shit, why?...um…come on, think.
I’m thinking! Your such a slave driver!
“I need to go home because…I need,” I make my way towards to door and say the first explanation that jumps into my head.
“To wash the dog.”
WHAT?! You need to go home to wash the dog, Fuck you’re a genius (sarcasm). Just keep on walking you dip shit.
Gerard’s expression is even more confused than before. He slowly relays my excuse to me.
“You need to go home to wash your dog?” He’s so fuckable when he’s confused. I subconsciously bite the corner of my lip and start to turn the handle of the door when he comments.
“Um, Frank. You do realise it’s like 11pm.” I feel the warm blood rush to my cheeks, I can’t look at him.
“Yeah I know, but I promised mom I’d do it today and I forgot earlier.” I tried to sound normal but my voiced turned on me and started to break, it always does when I lie, I’m such a shitty liar.
“Got to go.” I say quickly. Before he can say anything to stop me I swing open the door and run up the dark basement stairs. It’s actually a miracle I don’t trip and tumble back down. I can hear Gerard yell out ‘Wait!’ behind me but I ignore it and race through his house and out the front door, I don’t even know if I shut it, I just run, one foot in front of the other. Down the middle of the moon lit New Jersey street, not the smartest thing to do I know.
Once I’m on the front porch of my house, with wet socks due to not wearing shoes, I grab the spare key from its hiding place under the window sill and unlock the front door, I don’t even care that I left my stuff at Gerard’s house I needed to get out of there. I was meant to be sleeping over at his place to work on this stupid English report thing. It’s due at the end of the week and we haven’t even started working on it.
I crash through the front door, and try not to slam it shut because my mother is asleep and I don’t want to wake her. I lock the wooden door behind me and run straight up the stairs, tripping on the top step and skid to my bedroom. I shut my door and flop face first on to my unmade bed. The familiar smell of my pillow comforts me somewhat. I breathe in deep and wish for the covers to swallow me whole. I feel stupid, I feel confused but most of all I feel alone.
“Fuck my life” life I mumble face down.
A/N dose Franks inside voice talk too much??? should I cut back?