FicWad

Paulina ran up four flights of stairs and down a long hallway to jam her key in the lock of her room door, before rushing in, slamming it shut behind her, and collapsing face-down on her bed.

She couldn’t process what had just happened. He’d answered to the name of Gerard, he looked like Gerard, sounded like Gerard--how could she be wrong? What had happened? Had she been hallucinating? She shakily reached over to grab the bottle of anxiety pills on her bedside table and instead clutched a handful of fluffy tail.

“Algernon,” she moaned woefully, forgetting her pills and instead hauling her pet into her lap. Another perk of being the victim of such a horrendous crime: Paulina had been able to register her rabbit as a medical apparatus that helped her to deal with her severe anxiety disorder. So, this new power allowed Algernon not only to accompany Paulina to the movies and even restaurants (if she would have wanted to bring him with her to such places, which she had yet to feel the inclination to do), but also to live with her in her dorm. And right now, Paulina was very grateful of that.

She pressed her face into his fur, feeling tears begin to soak the soft fluff. She sniffed. “Why doesn’t he remember me, Al?” He simply nuzzled her cheek and nibbled the tip of her nose. She sighed, drawing her body into a tight ball and staring at the wall beside her bed. “Why--”

She was cut off by her phone ringing. She jumped for it, scrambling in her bag to find it. He had remembered her! He’d told Frank, who, by the magical prowess he’d always demonstrated during those six months, had found her number and was calling her, calling to see how she was, to meet up, to--

“Hello?” She cared very little that she was out of breath and only prayed that she had managed to answer before the final ring. “Hello? Yes?”

“Paulina?” Damn. It was Damien. Paulina stifled a groan and tried not to gag on the deep feeling of disappointment that seemed to fill her right up to the top of her throat.

“Oh, hey.” What did he want? She was very busy, she thought sourly. “What’s up?”

“Well, I was wondering where you’d gone. I got back out and you were nowhere to be found.” Shit. Of course. Paulina silently cursed herself. “Are you alright?” Her anger ebbed a bit; he really did sound worried.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. I should have texted you. I didn’t feel well. I threw up in a trash can. My--someone called a cab for me. But I’m alright. Thanks for calling. I’m sorry I made you worry.” She tapped Al on the twitching nose and waited for Damien to end the conversation and hang up.

“Oh. Well, alright. I’ll be seeing you.”

“Okay.”

“Oh, Paulina?” Damien added right before Paulina hung up.

“Yes?” she almost snapped into the phone.

“My friend couldn’t remember what the cologne was called, either. Sorry.” Paulina closed her eyes and took a slow breath.

“It’s okay. I think I’m gonna go to sleep. Maybe I’ll feel better in the morning.”

“Okay. Bye.” Paulina hung up and threw her phone across the room after taking the battery out and setting it on her bedside table. No more calls tonight. She settled back into her bed with Al and closed her eyes, thinking.

What if Gerard had remembered her? What if he was pretending to be a stranger? It was an even more confusing idea than the former. Why would he do such a thing? What was the point? Did he think she would try to have them thrown in jail? Never! If one was in jail, all were in jail, even Frank. And Paulina wasn’t about to let that happen.

She fell into a fitful sleep that came and went, but always with the same dream.

She was back at the mansion, in the house she’d called home for six months. She’d almost forgotten how big it was. Massive, more like a palace. The ceilings were so high birds would get dizzy up there. How had she gotten here? She didn’t remember walking in through the front door, which was now so far away it didn’t seem like anyone would have been able to make it to where she was standing in less than an hour. So far, and getting farther. Goodbye, goodbye, world! The farther the door was, the further she was from rejoining her real life, and that was just fine.

Paulina heard footsteps. She spun in circles, trying to find the cause, seeing only walls and rooms as far as she could look in any direction. But the footsteps, they were so loud and getting louder. Whoever it was was fast approaching, but she couldn’t see them.

“Hello?” Paulina’s own echo was her only answer. “Hello!” she yelled louder. She cupped her hands over her mouth and yelled again, still receiving no reply. “Who’s there?”

“It’s just me, sweet.” Frank! Paulina heard the voice but still couldn’t spot its owner. It was Frank. It was definitely Frank. It had to be. Who else’s voice did she know so well? Who else’s voice could make her knees weak? It was him.

“Frank!” Paulina ran around the room, peering through all the doorways and windows. Where was he? “Frank! Frank, I’m here! Come find me! I’m right here!”

“Paulina...” The voice was fading but the footsteps were growing even louder. Cold sweat poured down Paulina’s face as she sought out her paramour.

“Frank,” she sobbed, sweat mingling with tears and dropping off her jaw to stain her shirt. When she looked down, the sweat had turned to blood, turning her clothes and skin red, coming out darker, fuller, heavier. She couldn’t staunch it. She clawed at her face frantically, sobbing and screaming. “Frank! Frank, please help! Please! Please!” She suddenly couldn’t breathe. An invisible hand clamped over her mouth and nose, stifling her screams and gasps, choking her. She was going to die. Death was moments away, she thought, still trying to scream. She sobbed harder, and still she heard Frank’s voice.

“Paulina...Paulina...Paulina...”

God, where was he? She needed him so badly.

“Paulina...”

Things were beginning to get fuzzy...

“Paulina!”

Paulina’s eyes snapped open, and she tried to sit up in bed but found that the hand clamped over her face prevented this. It was still dark. She was covered in icy cold sweat. Her eyes were wet with tears. Fear pounded through her heart. What was going on?

“Paulina...” Oh, no, she must have still been dreaming. Why was she still hearing Frank’s voice? More tears leaked from her eyes. Oh, Frank, would that he were there to save her...

“Paulina, it’s me.” She finally looked at her assailant and gasped, nearly choking because he was cutting off all her access to air. She closed her eyes tightly, squeezing, willing whatever terrible hallucination this was that was plaguing her. She opened her eyes. He was still there, and she still couldn’t breathe, this time because she felt as though a ton-weight had dropped down on her chest. “I’m gonna take my hand away, okay? Don’t scream.” Paulina continued to stare, wide- and glossy-eyed. “Promise?” She nodded slowly. The hand tentatively came away, and Paulina took a deep, rattling breath. He stood, offering his hand, which he used to help Paulina to her feet. She stood. Another breath. Another. Another. He offered a wan smile, lit only by the light pouring in from the window beside the bed. “Surprise.”

Paulina continued to gape at him. He was really there. After months of torture, depression, loneliness, here he was, standing before her. Real. Paulina steadied herself with one more deep breath.

“You bastard!” she yelled, grabbing the textbook on her bedside table and chucking it at him with all her might. “You horrible, horrible, wretched, awful, terrible bastard! You disgusting swine of a man!” The book missed its target, heavy as it was, and Paulina looked around for something else to throw. When she found nothing, she advanced, knocking the man’s back into the wall and beating his chest with her fists. “Frank, you fucking pig! You awful, nauseating, disgusting, abhorrent, loathsome creature!” She began raining blows around his head and shoulders, kicking his shins, clawing at his clothing.

“This wasn’t exactly the way I pictured this reunion,” he muttered, attempting to duck out of Paulina’s line of fire. He tried to ward her off by holding her at arm’s length, but she easily sidestepped him and continued the assault.

“You come back after dumping me--leaving me all alone--and you expected a warm welcome? You abandoned me, you rat bastard! How dare you! How could you! How could you! I’ve been all alone! I’ve been so alone and you’ve been living your life and now you’re back! You fucking cunt, I’ll kill you! I hate you!”

Frank grabbed her wrists and held them bone-crushlingly tight in one hand, while the other delivered a firm smack to Paulina’s face. She shut up and ceased struggling, jaw slack, staring at him, shocked.

“Compose yourself, Paulina!” Frank said sternly. His face, however, was soft, pitying, empathetic. “Listen to me. Just listen.” Paulina shut her mouth and glared, wrenching out of his grip and sitting in her desk chair, arms crossed.

“Fine,” she spat eventually. Rage was tearing up her insides, boiling her blood and searing her brain with fury. Where the hell did he get off? Paulina had been experiencing loneliness and depression the past few months, yes, but it was only when she saw his face that she realized how truly furious she was at her abandonment. He’d told her he loved and then he’d left her to be picked up by her parents the next day with nary a word about it. And now he expected her to jump into his arms and ride off into the sunset? Not in this lifetime. Certainly not. Right now, Paulina wasn’t thinking about the last few months of missing him so much that she felt real, physical symptoms of pain and suffering. At that moment, she was out for blood. “Say what you have to say and make it quick.”

“Listen, Paulina, I know you’re angry.” He took a knee at her side and grabbed her hand in both of his, which she had the urge to rip away, just to irk him, but she didn’t. “You should be. You should hate me for the rest of your life and never look back. But you don’t, and you can’t.” Paulina snorted.

“And what makes you so sure about that?”

“Because you recognized Gerard, and you approached him, and you wanted him to recognize you. You wanted to return to our life. You can’t deny it.” He was right, she couldn’t. She continued to glare, however.

“Gerard didn’t recognize me,” she said at last. “He didn’t know who I was.”

“He was pretending, of course. He couldn’t run the risk of anyone asking how he knew you. It would have just opened up a whole new wound. He called me as soon as he was home and told me all about it. Then I came to find you. I had to find you. I’ve been absolutely miserable without you.” Paulina opened her mouth to speak, but Frank silenced her with one hand. “Just listen. Just listen and then you can say whatever you want. You can send me out, call security, have me sent to prison for the rest of my life or fried in the electric chair, just please listen first.” He certainly seemed genuine, and Paulina had to admit to herself that she couldn’t just send him away, never knowing why he did what he did. She sighed and nodded, sitting back in the chair.

“Okay. First thing first, I hate to say this out loud, to admit it, but when you told me you loved me and I realized I loved you, I got scared. Paulina, I just got so frightened because I didn’t know what was happening. I’d never felt that way about anyone, and I--I didn’t know what everyone else would say, and--I just had to get rid of you as quickly as I could, and I regret it. I regretted it immediately, the second I suggested to everyone else that we let you go, I regretted it, but I didn’t think there was anything I could do. I was doing what I thought was best, I really was. I was just scared. Please forgive me. Please. I have missed you so much, I haven’t been able to think of anything but you, how you were doing, what you were doing, if you’d gotten back into your old life. I followed every news story I could find about you until it died down. I just couldn’t let you go. I knew when Gerard saw you tonight, it must have been some sign or something. I know it’s stupid, but it has to be true. It’s too great a coincidence. I love you so much, Paulina, and I’m so sorry and I’ll never be afraid of love again if you’ll just forgive me, even though I don’t deserve it, I just--”

“Frank,” Paulina said gently, but effectively silencing him. “I don’t think you could understand how hard these past few months have been for me. No one could. I was so hurt, I was so confused, I didn’t know what had made you leave me and I thought you hated me. I’m still hurting, and even after listening to your apology, I’m not sure how I feel.” Frank seemed to deflate before her eyes, sitting back on his haunches, his jaw, locking, swallowing thickly. He finally cleared his throat and nodded.

“Okay,” he said. He stood. “Okay, I’ll--”

“Wait!” Paulina darted to the door and stood in front of it, blocking his exit. “I said I’m not sure how I feel. But I’d really like to spend some time with you, figuring it out.” She offered a small smile, pushing her hand through her ever-growing hair, looking hopefully at Frank, who sighed shook his head, and then shot a wry smile her way. He scooped Paulina up in his arms and kissed her like she’d imagined being kissed for the past months, the long months, the months of suffering that were now, thankfully over.




I told you this chapter was a biggie. There you go. One more chapter to go, so hang in there. Throw me some comments if you so choose, and let me know where you think I'm gonna finish this. So...yeah. Coming soon, to a Ficwad near you. OverAndOutxx