Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco
It's All For You
You are sat with two friends, and I am passing by. I have my earphones in, and I am listening to The Beatles. You grab my arm, a delighted grin on your lips.
"You listen to the Beatles?!" You ask with a bright, bubbly smile. I nod. I've always been so shy, it's a curse.
"Sit down!" You point at the seat next to you, and I sit.
"What's your name?"
I sign my name. Ryan.
"Hey, I know you! You're the Ross kid!" The boy who was twirling drumsticks shoots me a smile, and I nod. I watch him lean over, and I read his lips as he whispers to you.
"He's mute. Selectively mute."
He nods at the drumstick boy, and speaks to me quietly.
"Have you spoken before?"
Yes.
"When?"
A year ago.
"What did you say?"
Why do you want to know?
"Because."
I sigh, and take a deep, shuddery breath.
The last time I spoke was while I tried to stop my best friend being murdered. His name was William.
"Holy shit." I bite my lip at your words, and look into your deep eyes, seeing the care in them.
Now you know. I choose not to speak. I've tried, but I only burst into tears.
"My name is Brendon."
*
You keep me round. I've taught you sign language, so we can speak without being heard. You teach me about the ways of the world. You act as my interpreter at stores, and you always pay when we go out for lunch. You make me smile, and you make my stomach erupt in butterflies.
We've known each other for six years, now. We were thirteen that day, where I told you about William. We're nineteen now.
"Hey, Ryan?" You ask. You don't feel like signing today, I guess.
Yeah?
"Have you ever wondered what love feels like?"
I imagine love is when their happiness makes you happy. Their pain is your pain, their burden is your burden. Love is what happens when you touch them and you feel electricity. Love is .. love is a feeling that you know, Bren.
"Man, you're deep."
A soft chuckle passes my lips, a weak sound. You turn to me, with the widest eyes I've ever seen.
"Have you ever felt love?"
Yes, I have.
"Was it for a girl?"
No. I don't think I've told you yet.
"Told me what?"
I'm not into girls, Brendon. I mean, I am, but I'm into guys too. I don't know. I wouldn't describe myself as gay, but I wouldn't describe myself as bi, either. I'm queer, let's say that.
"I'm queer, too."
Really?
"Yes. And I've felt love."
Who for?
I needn't have asked. You lean over, and cover my lips with yours, and it's featherlight and beautiful. My arms wrap round your torso, and I kiss back, and everything is magic right now. The faint sound of Video Games by Lana Del Rey trickles into my ears, and the melancholy piano only makes the moment even more perfect. You pull away, and whisper gently to me.
"It's taken me six years, way too many one-night-stands, and an overbearing conscience to realize it, but I love you, Ryan."
And then, I open my mouth, and I speak. It's an awfully quiet sound, full of shakiness and my voice trembles an awful lot.
"I-I lo-love you too.
*
Fast-forward seven years. We've been boyfriends since that night, when Lana Del Rey sang to us and I spoke to you. Slowly, you taught me to speak, and then sing. You say I have a beautiful voice. I think you sing like an angel and nothing is better, but that's just me. You have let me put makeup on you, you have taken me to see Rocky Horror Picture Show at midnight. I have let you break the walls I made around myself, and you let me see that there is beauty in speech. There is beauty in everything. There is an exceptional amount of beauty in you, though.
We are sat on the beach, on an old blanket. We share a bottle of wine, and steal kisses whenever we can. A wide smile crosses your lips, and you speak.
"Ryan?"
"Yes?"
"I love you. A lot. You've been my everything since we were thirteen. You were mute then. And now you talk. I've taught you to talk and sing and be yourself, and you've taught me love beyond anything I have ever known. I don't want to love anyone else, for as long as I live."
You bend down on one knee, and I gasp. You yank a diamond ring from your pocket, and a bashful smile covers your lips.
"Marry me?"
And for the first time in years, I sign.
Yes.
I am on FIRE. I'm writing shitloads of Ryden/Peterick/Gabetrick right now. I dunno. Rate and review, my loves.
You are sat with two friends, and I am passing by. I have my earphones in, and I am listening to The Beatles. You grab my arm, a delighted grin on your lips.
"You listen to the Beatles?!" You ask with a bright, bubbly smile. I nod. I've always been so shy, it's a curse.
"Sit down!" You point at the seat next to you, and I sit.
"What's your name?"
I sign my name. Ryan.
"Hey, I know you! You're the Ross kid!" The boy who was twirling drumsticks shoots me a smile, and I nod. I watch him lean over, and I read his lips as he whispers to you.
"He's mute. Selectively mute."
He nods at the drumstick boy, and speaks to me quietly.
"Have you spoken before?"
Yes.
"When?"
A year ago.
"What did you say?"
Why do you want to know?
"Because."
I sigh, and take a deep, shuddery breath.
The last time I spoke was while I tried to stop my best friend being murdered. His name was William.
"Holy shit." I bite my lip at your words, and look into your deep eyes, seeing the care in them.
Now you know. I choose not to speak. I've tried, but I only burst into tears.
"My name is Brendon."
*
You keep me round. I've taught you sign language, so we can speak without being heard. You teach me about the ways of the world. You act as my interpreter at stores, and you always pay when we go out for lunch. You make me smile, and you make my stomach erupt in butterflies.
We've known each other for six years, now. We were thirteen that day, where I told you about William. We're nineteen now.
"Hey, Ryan?" You ask. You don't feel like signing today, I guess.
Yeah?
"Have you ever wondered what love feels like?"
I imagine love is when their happiness makes you happy. Their pain is your pain, their burden is your burden. Love is what happens when you touch them and you feel electricity. Love is .. love is a feeling that you know, Bren.
"Man, you're deep."
A soft chuckle passes my lips, a weak sound. You turn to me, with the widest eyes I've ever seen.
"Have you ever felt love?"
Yes, I have.
"Was it for a girl?"
No. I don't think I've told you yet.
"Told me what?"
I'm not into girls, Brendon. I mean, I am, but I'm into guys too. I don't know. I wouldn't describe myself as gay, but I wouldn't describe myself as bi, either. I'm queer, let's say that.
"I'm queer, too."
Really?
"Yes. And I've felt love."
Who for?
I needn't have asked. You lean over, and cover my lips with yours, and it's featherlight and beautiful. My arms wrap round your torso, and I kiss back, and everything is magic right now. The faint sound of Video Games by Lana Del Rey trickles into my ears, and the melancholy piano only makes the moment even more perfect. You pull away, and whisper gently to me.
"It's taken me six years, way too many one-night-stands, and an overbearing conscience to realize it, but I love you, Ryan."
And then, I open my mouth, and I speak. It's an awfully quiet sound, full of shakiness and my voice trembles an awful lot.
"I-I lo-love you too.
*
Fast-forward seven years. We've been boyfriends since that night, when Lana Del Rey sang to us and I spoke to you. Slowly, you taught me to speak, and then sing. You say I have a beautiful voice. I think you sing like an angel and nothing is better, but that's just me. You have let me put makeup on you, you have taken me to see Rocky Horror Picture Show at midnight. I have let you break the walls I made around myself, and you let me see that there is beauty in speech. There is beauty in everything. There is an exceptional amount of beauty in you, though.
We are sat on the beach, on an old blanket. We share a bottle of wine, and steal kisses whenever we can. A wide smile crosses your lips, and you speak.
"Ryan?"
"Yes?"
"I love you. A lot. You've been my everything since we were thirteen. You were mute then. And now you talk. I've taught you to talk and sing and be yourself, and you've taught me love beyond anything I have ever known. I don't want to love anyone else, for as long as I live."
You bend down on one knee, and I gasp. You yank a diamond ring from your pocket, and a bashful smile covers your lips.
"Marry me?"
And for the first time in years, I sign.
Yes.
I am on FIRE. I'm writing shitloads of Ryden/Peterick/Gabetrick right now. I dunno. Rate and review, my loves.
Sign up to rate and review this story