Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance
A/N So here's a thing I wrote, it's a oneshot and vampirish. in case you haven't guessed this contains attempted suicide and depression I guess. So don't read if that's a trigger.
Gerard was lonely.
He had never thought of it that way though, he had been a recluse; a dark elusive figure, who liked the shadows and his own company. He had enjoyed the shroud of mystery, wearing it as one might a cloak to conceal vampiric tendencies. Maybe he had enjoyed it too much though, the character he became, shrouded in shadows, an enigma. Maybe, as he wore it, the costume had tightened, yet he did not realise it until after he had suffocated.
When once he had spent his days in the sunlight, painting the hundred ways the sun could appear on a single leaf: Now he went out alone, at night when the park was eerie, sapped of colour, his mind filled with dangerous monochrome.
His friends worried about him, said Mikey when he called, when Gerard answered the phone. He needs to make an effort, get out more, socialise. But how do you socialise when you haven’t seen your friends in three months? When your brother is the only one to call round, yet you wish he’d stop because you know you cause the worry in his younger eyes, and it hurts you to hurt him like this.
There was a difference between being lonely and being alone, Gerard would protest, though he was now both. He wanted to snap out of it; truly he did, but he had nowhere to start. So he didn’t. His self-hatred grew as his self-worth shrank.
He remembered the last time he had socialised, Mikey’s house, a party, February. Frank had been there. Frank was Mikey’s roommate, he was short, tattooed, vibrant. A firey ball of energy like the sun. Gerard was envious of Frank, the energy, the passion, the joy that didn’t need a reason. He could make Mikey laugh as he so rarely did around Gerard anymore, he could make anyone laugh, by just being in the room; radiating a sense of ‘it’s a good day to be alive’. Gerard had enjoyed that party, he had liked Frank.
Gerard did not like how he felt now though: hopeless, a failure, worthless. He didn’t like it at all as he sat on the bridge wondering whether to go buy a bottle of vodka, or to just slide through the railings now, to soar and fly, be truly alive for just a moment before the dark rushing waters down below caught him and carried him over the edge of this world. To be forgotten and to forget and to put his loved ones out of their misery; to quicken the blow.
Gerard stood up, walking to lean against the cool metal resolve of the railings. He gazed out over the twinkling lights of the city around him, the stars of the urban world, before beginning to climb.
He stood on the ledge, holding onto the bars; ready to step into the nights cool embrace. He took a deep breath, and then he felt the embrace of a completely unexpected source. Arms; around his waist. Strong arms, pulling him backwards, over the railing; his feet hitting the solid concrete of the bridge and staying there. He stood still in shock for a moment before the stranger loosened their grasp and he was released.
He tentatively turned, looking through the darkness to his saviour. A familiar face: bright-eyed, dark-haired, facial piercings shining bright in the glow of the streetlights. It was Frank.
“Frank.” Said Gerard.
“Gerard.” Said Frank.
For want of all else to do they returned to the bench, they just sat for a while staring into nowhere before Gerard decided to be the one to start the inevitable conversation.
“So what are you doing out here?” Asked Gerard, because otherwise the focus would turn to him and Frank would be another person to be hurt, another casualty of his existence.
“Taking a stroll, at night, by the bridge, stopping your suicide.”
Gerard flinched at the word, its sharp finality.
“It’s dangerous at this time of night,” He replied.
Frank grinned; amused. “I could be the danger, if I wanted to, but I don’t”.
Gerard shrugged off the statement; the sentiment of his apathy needed no mention.
“So why are you here, Gerard?” asked Frank, more seriously now.
Gerard shrugged.
“Gerard…”
Gerard sighed, Frank was drawn in now, he might as well explain.
“I am nothing; worthless; a failure if you will. My existence contributes nothing to this petty excuse for a planet, the only thing I do is hurt and get hurt, I watch my days slide away from under me with the ghosts of my dreams and ambitions, while I sit alone, I could go on. I don’t want to live.”
His words settled in the air for a minute before Frank spoke.
“You have so much to live for, Gerard, and death isn’t always the safe haven it’s made out to be… It can still be lonely…You can see the sunlight any day you want, you can do so much, you can be whoever you want to be, if the world doesn’t work for you then change it.”
Not quite the answer Gerard had anticipated.
“What would you know..?” Gerard muttered.
Frank pulled Gerard’s arm, suddenly and when Gerard turned to face him his eyes seemed huge and strange. Frank opened his mouth, twitching it at the corners to reveal what were not merely elongated canines. Frank had fangs.
“What?” Gerard was shaken for the first time. “Those can’t be real…”
Frank nodded his head, looking sad for the first time since Gerard had known him. Gerard had an urge to gather him in his arms but held back. Any other time he might not have believed this, but anything seemed possible on this strange night.
“I miss the sunlight the most…”
“So you..?”
“I can go outside for around 20 minutes, with really high factor sunscreen, it starts to sting without, and after that I burn.” Frank rubbed his arm at a memory. “I come here a lot of nights, just to watch the sunrise..”
“And you?” Gerard gestured to his teeth awkwardly.
Frank laughed at that. “I drink blood, with permission, not such the monster expected of me.”
“But you can’t be a.. - a vampire… You’re so… bright.”
“Maybe I have to make my own sunshine, Gerard.”
Frank smiled.
And then before he could do anything, Frank had grabbed Gerard’s head and kissed him hard. He didn’t quite taste of sunlight but something close to it as his tongue sought entrance which was immediately granted; their mouths fitting together in a kind of sweet perfection. Frank’s hands were soft in his hair; caressing, his fangs sometimes brushing against Gerard’s lips but only gently, and maybe, thought Gerard, as Frank kissed away some of the self-loathing, maybe that almost-sunshine was the taste of hope.
A/N So that was different to my other stuff! please R&R and let me know what you think ^_^
Gerard was lonely.
He had never thought of it that way though, he had been a recluse; a dark elusive figure, who liked the shadows and his own company. He had enjoyed the shroud of mystery, wearing it as one might a cloak to conceal vampiric tendencies. Maybe he had enjoyed it too much though, the character he became, shrouded in shadows, an enigma. Maybe, as he wore it, the costume had tightened, yet he did not realise it until after he had suffocated.
When once he had spent his days in the sunlight, painting the hundred ways the sun could appear on a single leaf: Now he went out alone, at night when the park was eerie, sapped of colour, his mind filled with dangerous monochrome.
His friends worried about him, said Mikey when he called, when Gerard answered the phone. He needs to make an effort, get out more, socialise. But how do you socialise when you haven’t seen your friends in three months? When your brother is the only one to call round, yet you wish he’d stop because you know you cause the worry in his younger eyes, and it hurts you to hurt him like this.
There was a difference between being lonely and being alone, Gerard would protest, though he was now both. He wanted to snap out of it; truly he did, but he had nowhere to start. So he didn’t. His self-hatred grew as his self-worth shrank.
He remembered the last time he had socialised, Mikey’s house, a party, February. Frank had been there. Frank was Mikey’s roommate, he was short, tattooed, vibrant. A firey ball of energy like the sun. Gerard was envious of Frank, the energy, the passion, the joy that didn’t need a reason. He could make Mikey laugh as he so rarely did around Gerard anymore, he could make anyone laugh, by just being in the room; radiating a sense of ‘it’s a good day to be alive’. Gerard had enjoyed that party, he had liked Frank.
Gerard did not like how he felt now though: hopeless, a failure, worthless. He didn’t like it at all as he sat on the bridge wondering whether to go buy a bottle of vodka, or to just slide through the railings now, to soar and fly, be truly alive for just a moment before the dark rushing waters down below caught him and carried him over the edge of this world. To be forgotten and to forget and to put his loved ones out of their misery; to quicken the blow.
Gerard stood up, walking to lean against the cool metal resolve of the railings. He gazed out over the twinkling lights of the city around him, the stars of the urban world, before beginning to climb.
He stood on the ledge, holding onto the bars; ready to step into the nights cool embrace. He took a deep breath, and then he felt the embrace of a completely unexpected source. Arms; around his waist. Strong arms, pulling him backwards, over the railing; his feet hitting the solid concrete of the bridge and staying there. He stood still in shock for a moment before the stranger loosened their grasp and he was released.
He tentatively turned, looking through the darkness to his saviour. A familiar face: bright-eyed, dark-haired, facial piercings shining bright in the glow of the streetlights. It was Frank.
“Frank.” Said Gerard.
“Gerard.” Said Frank.
For want of all else to do they returned to the bench, they just sat for a while staring into nowhere before Gerard decided to be the one to start the inevitable conversation.
“So what are you doing out here?” Asked Gerard, because otherwise the focus would turn to him and Frank would be another person to be hurt, another casualty of his existence.
“Taking a stroll, at night, by the bridge, stopping your suicide.”
Gerard flinched at the word, its sharp finality.
“It’s dangerous at this time of night,” He replied.
Frank grinned; amused. “I could be the danger, if I wanted to, but I don’t”.
Gerard shrugged off the statement; the sentiment of his apathy needed no mention.
“So why are you here, Gerard?” asked Frank, more seriously now.
Gerard shrugged.
“Gerard…”
Gerard sighed, Frank was drawn in now, he might as well explain.
“I am nothing; worthless; a failure if you will. My existence contributes nothing to this petty excuse for a planet, the only thing I do is hurt and get hurt, I watch my days slide away from under me with the ghosts of my dreams and ambitions, while I sit alone, I could go on. I don’t want to live.”
His words settled in the air for a minute before Frank spoke.
“You have so much to live for, Gerard, and death isn’t always the safe haven it’s made out to be… It can still be lonely…You can see the sunlight any day you want, you can do so much, you can be whoever you want to be, if the world doesn’t work for you then change it.”
Not quite the answer Gerard had anticipated.
“What would you know..?” Gerard muttered.
Frank pulled Gerard’s arm, suddenly and when Gerard turned to face him his eyes seemed huge and strange. Frank opened his mouth, twitching it at the corners to reveal what were not merely elongated canines. Frank had fangs.
“What?” Gerard was shaken for the first time. “Those can’t be real…”
Frank nodded his head, looking sad for the first time since Gerard had known him. Gerard had an urge to gather him in his arms but held back. Any other time he might not have believed this, but anything seemed possible on this strange night.
“I miss the sunlight the most…”
“So you..?”
“I can go outside for around 20 minutes, with really high factor sunscreen, it starts to sting without, and after that I burn.” Frank rubbed his arm at a memory. “I come here a lot of nights, just to watch the sunrise..”
“And you?” Gerard gestured to his teeth awkwardly.
Frank laughed at that. “I drink blood, with permission, not such the monster expected of me.”
“But you can’t be a.. - a vampire… You’re so… bright.”
“Maybe I have to make my own sunshine, Gerard.”
Frank smiled.
And then before he could do anything, Frank had grabbed Gerard’s head and kissed him hard. He didn’t quite taste of sunlight but something close to it as his tongue sought entrance which was immediately granted; their mouths fitting together in a kind of sweet perfection. Frank’s hands were soft in his hair; caressing, his fangs sometimes brushing against Gerard’s lips but only gently, and maybe, thought Gerard, as Frank kissed away some of the self-loathing, maybe that almost-sunshine was the taste of hope.
A/N So that was different to my other stuff! please R&R and let me know what you think ^_^
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