Jay corners Ash and gets her to confess her real feelings.
He leaned over me to keep me from sitting up and running like I attempted earlier.
“I know about the secret” he whispered, “I found out about it the same time you did”. His weight caused the bed to sink in and pull me closer to his hips. I was afraid of what might happen if I didn't find a way to get up and out of this room and out of his this uncomfortable situation. “The other kids had put me over by the kitchen window to count and I could see you on the other side hiding in the bushes. When I counted to fifty is when I noticed you pop up and look at the adults talking. That is when I heard mother confess the secret.”
I looked up at him when he said that, my heart pounding when he looked back at me but with distant eyes that were trying to remember the events that happened nine years ago.
“I’m adopted,” he whispered, “born from a ‘poor, ill, Korean woman’,” his voice was distant and hoarse but then he really looked at me. “So we aren’t related. We aren’t kin to each other.” He was beginning to seem wild and I began to try to get away from him but he leaned his shoulder closer to pin me down and stop me from wriggling around. “These past few years without you have put me through hell,” I tried to move some more, but he only pressed harder.
Finally I was getting agitated and let out a groan for him to let me go.
“Stop moving and let me finish telling you why I am here.” He said that with a desperate voice that would have broken my heart. I would have gave in, however the fact that he had me pinned against a bed in a dark lit room in an empty house made me continue to move my body to get him off. I continued for about two minutes, until his lips hit mine. I felt something like an electric shock when he kissed me, and I fell still.
“Finally.” He sighed out when he was satisfied that I wasn't wiggling.
“So what is this, a love confession or something?” I said with a voice that was supposed to be sarcastic but ended up sounding a little out of breath.
“Yes” he said with complete honesty, “I was going to say that these years have been hell because I have been so in love with you and I couldn’t bear it.” His eyes told me that he was serious and honest. I turned away from his face to avoid another kiss. My heart wasn’t ready for another blow.
“I can’t return your feelings,” I said, hoping that he would believe the lie.
“Sure,” he said with his classic sarcastic voice. I was caught.
“Fine, don’t believe me.” I said loudly as a memory came back of his smiling face which turned mine red.
“Pfft, I won’t believe that lie while you make ‘that’ face.” He said referring to my red, embarrassed face.
This challenge only pissed me off, “Fine, kiss me!” I challenged back at him, “I will show you that I don’t feel a thing!”
He softly pulled me onto his lap and kissed me. For a minute, I was about to give in but I leaned in and fought back in the kiss. After a few minutes into the kiss I was a goner and needed a breath, but he was the first to pull away.
We sat there for several minutes, catching our breaths and I then realized how we were sitting. He had moved all the way against the wall on the bed as I straddled his lap. My hands were in his hair, and my arms were wrapped around his strong shoulders. I would’ve pulled out of this position and run away, except his left hand was entangled in my hair, while his other pulled me closer to him. I had nothing else to do but look into his eyes that seemed to hold so much in them. The first was pain and happiness, and then desire. As we continued to sit like this, I began to understand my situation perfectly.
The man that I fell in love with and used to believe was my brother until nine years ago is now here, alone with me, and is about to throw me down and do me until morning. This is not a fun feeling when they are mixed up, huh?
“Jay, please don’t do this” I whispered as he started to try again at the kissing.
“Why Ash?” he asked,” you have already lost, don’t you know? You put us into this position.” He said the taunting tone that used to irritate the shit out of me.
“I just,” I had to think for a second; “I’m not ready for this yet!” I said aloud when I finally found my excuse.
“Bull” was all Jalen said as he then started to move his right hand from my waist to the zipper of my dress as if to challenge me.
“Jay, please don’t. I admit that I lied about my feelings, now let go!” I said as I started to attempt to move out of his reach but he pulled me into another kiss that made me melt and shiver for a second.
“Okay,” he said with a smile, “but for now.” He then pulled me away and then got up from the bed with a chuckle. “Goodnight Astrid.”