Categories > Original > Drama > Trusting

Chapter Four

by MCR-99 2 Reviews

"My Dad says we're not allowed to go in there. Ever."

Category: Drama - Rating: PG - Genres: Angst,Drama - Characters:  - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2013/07/23 - Updated: 2013/07/23 - 1134 words

Reviews

  • Trusting

    (#) Death_Herself 2013-07-23 05:48:33 PM

    I am a little suspicious about Dexter. I don't think he's a surgeon.

    Anyway... I like the story and I'm looking forward tp more but the one thing I really don't like is how you put the stereotypical populars. Not all populars are like that and it really peeves me off a little. But that's the only flaw I found about it. Besides that it is a good story.

    And now for me to freak out. DEXTER! I KNOW YOU ARE HIDING SOMETHING MISTER! I CAN TELL! O_e

    Author's response

    Oh, he is...

    suspicious music, shifty eyes
  • Trusting

    (#) AmericanHorrorStory 2013-07-24 01:59:13 PM

    I'm gonna have to agree with Jasmine there - you've got the stereotypical populars and it can get kind of boring. Like, I know some people like that - they come off as so sweet, though, and they can be. Hell, I was friends with 2 of them for a while.

    I'm liking the plot. Shady guy, shy girl, yadda yadda. It's something I've seen, but I'm assuming your plot twist is going to be big, so. I've high hopes for this.

    Remember: syntax is good, spellcheck is your friend. I found a few grammatical errors.

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