[*Chapter 2: Into Your Icy Blues...
I literally could not get him out of my mind. I didn't get any sleep last night, not even a few minutes of it. I didn't know why I couldn't stop thinking about him, there was just something about his whole persona that made me want to get to know him more. I was probably getting the wrong message. Everything about him screamed for you to stay away. Why was I the only person at our school who actually gave a damn about him?
I stayed up for most of the night worrying, crying and freaking out over it. This was pathetic! Totally and utterly pathetic. Why couldn't I just make the tears stop? When I looked at my face in the mirror; you could clearly tell that I was shattered. I sighed and splashed water over my face before getting ready for another dull and mind-frying day of hell. School.
I still had a good few hours to get ready and I would just spend the majority of it sat on the bathroom floor, groaning at how ridiculous I was being about this whole situation.
Everything was so fucked. It was so messed up that I couldn't even handle it anymore and I had been through a lot recently. I shoved my key into the front door and the first thing I saw was my little brother Mikey leaning against the hallway wall, shaking his head in disapproval. I sighed and held out my palms, shaking my head right back at him.
“You don't understand do you, Gerard?” Mikey groaned and went into my room, sitting himself down on the end of my bed and placing his head in his hands.
“No, Mikey. I really don't, why don't you just explain it to me already.” I grunted and kicked my bag across the room and shut my door, practically slamming it. That instantly gained a frown from Mikey and he ran a hand through his mousy brown hair, clearly stressed out about me again. I really didn't know why I called him my little brother, he was anything but little.
He was more a bigger brother than anything. But because he had the same last name as me, things at school weren't exactly easy for him, just like they weren't easy for me. Clearly though, he didn't get hurt as bad as me. For one, he wasn't interested in drugs or alcohol yet and thank God that I had set him in the wrong direction. I really couldn't handle it if he went into the same path of life as I had, that would be absolutely torturous. I couldn't let myself think about it, so I just stared at him with a blank expression just as he stared back at me.
“You don't understand how much you mean to me, Gee.” He sighed, using my nickname to try and persuade me to be in a happier mood and to just god damn relax. I couldn't relax, everything in my body was telling me to do anything but that. “You mean more to me than my own life, Gerard. I'd die for you and I've been there with you through everything, even this.”
He gestured to the ground at whatever mess I had got myself into. “And I can help you through it, okay? Just let me help you just like I always have done...Don't block me out, please. I don't want you to fight this alone.” He explained, shaking his head a little in frustration.
“What if I don't want saving?” I mumbled back to him and he blinked a few times and shook his head, closing his eyes and standing, going to my door and taking one look at me before walking out back to his bedroom. I switched off the light and curled up in my bed, not once touching the alcohol that was happily stood next to my bed. I didn't need it, not tonight...
“Come on, Tay! You know that you want to do the sponsored run!” Jack tried to convince me, putting on that baby voice that he used whenever he wanted me to do something. I sighed and was about to answer when Gerard walked straight past me, knocking me into the wall gently. I stared at him as he stormed off in a grump. I raised an eyebrow high at him and my mouth hung open in disbelief.
“Hey! Gerard!” I shouted after him, I started to walk after him but Alex came up behind me all of a sudden and placed a hand on my shoulder. I shoved it off and I ran after Gerard, it took me a few minutes to catch up to him and when I did he pulled/dragged me under the stairs of a deserted building where no-one could see us.
“W-would you stop following me?” He blurted out angrily, I stared up at him, wondering what on Earth had gotten into him all of a sudden?
“You're hurt Gerard, I get that. But please, I want to help you. Whatever is going on; you can talk to me.”
“And what is that going to do? You can't help me.” His eyes burned into mine. “The only thing that is going to help me is a bullet to the head.” I shook my head over and over again.
“No, no, no, Gerard. No way. You don't deserve that. Nobody does. You can get through this. Whatever it is. Just talk to me...Please?” He took my hand suddenly and began dragging me through the school. I would miss English but I guessed that right now it didn't actually matter. He was more important than school was.