Categories > Original > Drama1 Reviews
A new killer strikes up in the heart of Los Angeles, and it's up to the LAPD's newest and finest investigators to find out who it is, and how he does it.. (Beta'd by Claire, AKA AmericanHorrorStory)
It was a usual day at Los Angeles Police Department, in the middle of a baking-hot July. Officers making their way out of the main building to go off on some case, or to make an arrest, forensic scientists entering the building holding many different toxins and chemicals, ready to unravel the clues to exposing many different killers in today's harsh world.
"Body coming through here, people!" The familiar sound of the coroner's frustrated and tired voice rang through the halls of the building, as the coroner wheeled along a gurney holding a new body, hidden only with a blood-smeared sheet, so the body wasn't harmed in any way. A few visible features could be seen from under the sheet: Black hair, long and straight, stopping at the shoulders. A tall, slim stature, and two bumps on the upper body, indicating that the body of the victim was a female.
"Move!" The coroner shouted, causing people to redistribute from the middle of the busy hall and position themselves beside the wall, slowly carrying on their conversations. The coroner, huffing at the rate of movement out in the hall, wheeled the gurney into the examination room, placing the door ajar behind him, as he placed the gurney in the middle of the room, switching on the LED fluorescent light installed into the ceiling of the room. Seconds later, the LAPD's finest investigators, Rain and Ansari, stepped into the room, Ansari replacing the door back to it's original position.
"Morning, coroner." Ansari greeted the tired man with a smile, and the coroner huffed even more.
"What's up with you, Mr. Grumps?" Rain asked, attitude lingering on her voice like a bad smell. Rain was one of those girls you really didn't want to cross. She was a lean, mean woman, who could pull a gun on you in a second without a thought, no matter who you were. That's what earned Rain her position on the force; her cunning, fierce attitude, and the handling of a firearm to match.
"All you kids today with your attitude and incompetence and sluggishness." The coroner shot a glare at Rain, who had then made her usual position perched upon the counter-top, filing her nails. "Back in my day, we actually worked, collecting actual evidence. Now it's all computerised with these fancy-dandy smartphones and iPhones."
"Look, Grandpa." Rain spat, angered by the insults. "I do work, okay? How do you think I got this job. I had to train to be in this position, working hard and studying. So, I suggest you shut your goddamn mouth, before I shut it for you." Rain scowled at the coroner, growling slightly.
"Sorry for my partner's rudeness, sir." Ansari apologised with a slightly embarrassed smile and a blush. "She isn't usually this bad, it's just early for her. Can we please get to the examination?"
"Of course." The coroner took off the large sheet, exposing the body, which was covered in a special gel.
"What's that stuff? Jelly?" Rain hopped off the counter-top so she could look closer at the substance encasing the corpse. Rain reached out a finger to touch it, but Ansari slapped her hand.
"No, no!" Ansari shrieked. "You can't touch it. This stuff is a special gel, which encases the body so no harsh chemicals can get in through the cuts." Ansari was the brains of the two. He knew everything and anything there was to know about forensics and science. He'd graduated with an Associates degree in Community College last year, so he shared with the rest of the force when he'd joined up.
"Alright, bossy." Rain rolled her eyes. "I just wanted to look."
"Well you looked." Ansari spat back at her. He wasn't normally this spiteful, but with a partner as rude and lazy as Rain, he had to be, to get her to listen. "Now, would you please give us the basic information?"
"Right." The coroner rummaged through a few draws in his filing cabinet, pulling out a couple of sheets of paper and a picture, before closing the draw again and making his way back over to the table, sliding over the papers and picture for the pair to look at.
"The girl's name is Jacki Wilson, aged 27 years old. She was an actress on Broadway, travelling in L.A to work in movies. Had many on-off relationships with co-stars, and had a daughter named Megan." Ansari skimmed through the basic information about the woman, before checking over her dental and medical records.
"The medical and dental records state she'd had some work done. Teeth fixtures and whitening, liposuction and implants. Everything most Hollywood actresses do to make themselves look presentable for the red carpet." Ansari confirmed.
"Hey, wait." Rain picked up the picture of this Jacki character, looking closely at it. "I recognise her from somewhere.." Rain thought briefly for a moment, before snapping her fingers in realisation.
"Of course! She was in that film.. Oh, what was it called? Mentally in Love! A story about a girl.."
"Who finds love in a mental hospital as she battles with anorexia and bulimia." Ansari finished Rain's sentence. "Yeah, I loved that film."
There was a moment of pause for a while, with Ansari and Rain looking at each other, silence hanging from Ansari's last word, before the coroner quickly cleared his throat, causing the pair to quickly look away from each other, blushing slightly.
"So, anyway. Multiple stab wounds on the body - nothing fatal, though. She bled right out. Body temperature at time of finding was pretty chilled, around fifteen degrees Celsius. Either this unsub had really cold hands, or he changed the temperature to freezing after killing this girl. That's just a hunch, though."
"Well, you can count the second one out." Rain rolled her eyes again. "Don't you know that humans are warm-blooded, so would never have naturally cold hands? Even I knew that!"
"I never said that the killer had naturally cold hands." The coroner stated. "That's another thing with you kids, you don't listen, do you?" The angered tension was arising again between the aged coroner and the young investigator, who was reaching for her holster which held her 44. Magnum, Ansari quickly stepping in between the two to stop a probable blood-bath.
"Rain, enough." Ansari commanded, and Rain's head snapped up, a glint of anger still in her dark eyes, before it quickly diluted. "Coroner, if you don't mind, we'd like to go and investigate for clues at the place of death. Where was her place of death, and at what time did she pass?"
"Well, according to her temperature, I'd say it was around three o'clock this morning, but, again, that's another premonition. And, her place of death was at Cliffside Look, a motel up by the cliffs overlooking the beach." The coroner gave the information, and Ansari nodded, taking a quick addendum in his black notebook.
"Time of death: 3AM, probable. Place of death: Cliffside Look." Ansari read back what he'd written, earning a nod of agreement from the coroner. "Thanks, sir. C'mon Rain." Ansari and Rain then left the building, getting into their black sedan, and driving toward the crime scene.
A/N: So, I completely scrapped the old first chapter, and changed it entirely, with different characters, and more dialogue. Also, I used a thesaurus to add in better, more efficient language, as Claire suggested. This one wasn't beta-ed by Claire, I checked it all myself. Before the next installment, I want this gone green, or five+ reviews, okay? Also, a hint of romantic tension between Ansari (Jona from Trusting, if you can't remember.) and Rain, there. I might get them together in the end, don't know. R&R, Turtles! Peace and Cookies, XO Sadie