Dean and Castiel finally sort out whatever the hell was going on between them both. Only, how long will it last?
It was Monday and Dean hadn’t spoken to Castiel since that afternoon at his house. Dean had tried to bring himself to talk to Castiel in the halls, but he felt embarrassed after everything he had confessed to him. In fact, whenever he found himself walking towards him in the school yard he’d actively try and avoid him. He felt really bad about it, but the truth is that he’d somehow fallen in love with him even more since confessing everything. It was suddenly as if Castiel was the only thing he could think about, and the only thing he dared to keep his eyes on in class.
“What’s the matter, Mr Winchester? It seems you have no looked at me once throughout this entire lesson.” Doctor Howard said, his monotonous voice only just managing to break him from his day dream.
“I’m sorry, sir, but the American Revolution really doesn’t interest me if I’m being entirely honest.” Dean mumbled nonchalantly, looking over to where his History teacher was standing by the whiteboard.
“Ah, but Mr Winchester, the American Revolution is a crucial factor contributing to what makes our country what it is today! These events that occurred a few hundred years ago changed our lives in ways you could never imagine, and it would be only disrespectful to our great nation to pass them off as just a boring topic covered in history class.”
“But, sir, I already know everything you’re teaching us. In fact, we all do. If you’re going to teach something we already know too much about, you may as well teach it in a way that’s a little bit more exciting.”
“You say you want my lessons to be more interesting? Well, why don’t you come up here and join me in a little role play.” Doctor Howard suggested, standing up from his seat slowly. “Are you familiar with a little event we like to call the Boston Tea Party?”
“Yes sir.” Dean replied as he made his way to the front of the room.
“Then you’ll be perfect in the little scenario we’re about to act out. Who else shall we have as another part of our little cast? How about you, Castiel? I think you should come up here and join in, seeing as you’re new.”
“I…” Castiel looked up suddenly at the mention of his name. “I…I’d rather not.”
“Why not?” Doctor Howard frowned. “Is it apathy for the subject that’s making you unwilling to participate, or are you uncomfortable with the prospects of the whole class looking at you, as they are right now?”
“I…I can’t act in front of people. I don’t want to do it, sir.” Castiel said quietly, looking down at his nervous hands. He could feel the eyes of everybody in the class on him, and his face was beginning to burn.
“You’re making yourself look like a fool, boy. I suggest you get up here before you attract even more unnecessary attention to yourself.” Doctor Howard pressed.
“Please, sir, I can’t.” he said quietly. “I get really bad stage fright...please…don’t make me do it.”
“And now is the perfect opportunity to overcome it! You should know better than to disobey your teacher, Castiel. Especially since this is your first class with me. I recommend you get up here right this second before I-”
“Why can’t you just leave him alone?” Dean said suddenly. “Clearly he doesn’t feel comfortable talking in front of the class and, you know what? I don’t blame him. It’s unfair to put him out of his comfort zone for the sake of some crappy role play you’ve made up.”
“Mr Winchester, it seems you feel strongly against my choices.” Doctor Howard hissed. “How about you join me in a detention this lunch time and perhaps we can have a little chat about it. You too, Castiel. You can join in our little debate. I’ll see you both after class when the lunch bell rings.”
* * *
Throughout the whole detention, Dean didn’t take his eyes off Castiel once. He liked to watch the way he sat so still and so beautiful at his desk with his shoulders set back slightly and his thin arms lying carefully across the desktop. Every now and again, Dean would watch as he twisted his body round and extend his neck slightly in order to look at the clock at the back of the room. Sometimes, when he turned back around to face the front, Dean would catch his eye and find himself blushing slightly.
When the detention was over, Dean near sprinted to get out of the classroom before Castiel could even get out of his seat. The reason for this was because Benny was waiting outside for him and he was sure as hell he had noticed something was up after the incident last Friday. Just as Dean reached Benny, he felt a small hand on his arm that he couldn’t bring himself to ignore.
“Castiel?” Dean said softly as he turned around.
Castiel smiled slightly and Dean broke out into a full grin.
“I understand you don’t particularly want to be seen talking to me at school, but I just wanted to say thank you.”
“For sticking up for me back there. Oh…and Friday. I’m sorry Nick shouted at you like that…I really did want you to stay but I knew he’d never allow it.” Castiel muttered.
“You don’t need to thank me for that.” Dean said, patting his friend’s arm gently. “You know I’m always happy to stick up for you.”
“I know. I just wanted to say thank you anyway. Plus, I haven’t spoken to you since Friday and I guess I kind of miss you. I could’ve sworn you were avoiding me…I didn’t know if I had done something wrong.”
“No, you haven’t done anything. I was just kind of embarrassed that you’d think I was some sort of creep after what I’d done. I was a total dick for getting you drunk and, you know, making you kiss me like that. It wasn’t fair.”
“It’s okay. I forgive you.” Castiel said shyly as he looked down at his feet with pink cheeks.
“Listen,” Dean said quietly. He took a step forward and placed a hand on Castiel’s shoulder as he spoke. “I’ve got to go now before Benny notices something. I’ll see you later, okay?”
Castiel nodded and took a step away. Just as Dean was about to turn away and walk off with Benny, he turned around so only Cas would see and mouthed ‘I love you’, to which Castiel bit his lip shyly with a smile and walked quickly off in the direction of his next class.
“What the hell is up with you and Boston-Boy?” Benny frowned as the two walked across the school yard.
“What are you talking about, dude?”
“Stop playing dumb, jack-ass. It was as if you were mentally undressing him the whole of that History lesson – you couldn’t keep ya damned eyes of him. Then you stood up for him as if Doctor Howard was holding a frigging gun to the poor kid’s head. Don’t even get me started on that little moment I just watched the two of you share just then…Is there something you’re keeping from me? From everybody?”
“I don’t know what the hell you’re on about, Benny. I’m not some freaking faggot, you hear me?” Dean said firmly. “I don’t do guys.”
“Yeah, well for some reason I don’t quite believe you. You’ve been acting weird whenever anyone mentions that kid’s name, and I hear you brought him on a date to watch the guys play basketball. Classy, Dean. Real classy.”
“It wasn’t a date.” Dean hissed. “Why do you care, anyway?”
“I care because I’m your friend, Dean, and I don’t like people hiding things from me.”
“Well there’s nothing to hide.”
“We’ll see about that, Dean.” Benny muttered as the bell signifying the end of lunch rang.
* * *
Castiel managed to sneak Dean up into his room before his foster parents returned home from work. Even his foster brother was unaware that there was in fact another person in the house. It gave the two a sense of privacy they’d been craving all day. Neither of them had to say it, but what they both wanted most was to be close to each other. That’s all. It was as if Dean had hardly realised how much staying away from this kid weighed him down. He needed Castiel. He needed him in order to feel like himself again.
At that moment, Dean realised that nothing mattered other than the beautiful boy lying peacefully against his chest, moving up and down slowly with every breath. Every so often, Dean would lean closer and just listen to him breathing as he quietly slept. Or sometimes he even dared to kiss the top of his head, but ever so gently to be sure he didn’t wake him.
When Castiel finally awoke, startling himself with the reality he’d left for only a few minutes, he looked down at his body to find Dean’s arms still wrapped tightly around his middle. He looked up at Dean who kissed the top of his head and resumed lying with his head over Dean’s slow-beating heart.
“What were you dreaming about?” Dean asked quietly.
Castiel shifted his body in Dean’s lap so he could fit his head comfortably under Dean’s chin. “I dreamt about you…and me…and what the hell is going on between us. I still have no idea – even in my sleep I’m still confused.”
Dean moved a piece of dark hair from Castiel’s face. “What are you confused about?”
“I’m confused about whether or not I’m supposed to refer to you as my boyfriend.”
“Well, your foster dad thinks we’re a couple…”
“I know, but I only said that so he didn’t think you were taking advantage of me when I was drunk. Although he may seem the biggest asshole, he’s actually very protective over me. He just has a lot of beliefs, you know?”
There was a long silence between them until Dean sat up slightly with Castiel still lying on his chest and said: “Well maybe we should be a, uh, a couple.”
Castiel sat up and turned to look at him. “Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?”
“I guess so.”
“I’ve never really dated anyone before.” Castiel sighed. “And I never thought I’d ever date a guy.”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I understand that you’re not gay, but maybe you could give it a try. It’s just that I, uh, I really like you, Cas. And not just a little bit,” he looked away from Castiel and felt his face flush red; “I like you a lot. I think that…well, actually, I know that I, uh, I love you.”
Castiel watched Dean’s face as he finally looked up again, but he didn’t say a word.
“Oh, god, I must sound like a right dick. I’m sorry.” Dean laughed weakly.
“No. Don’t apologise, Dean. I think you’re cute when you’re nervous.”
“Well can you hurry up and give me your answer? Will you be my boyfriend, Cas? The suspense is killing me.”
“I’d, uhm, I’d like to be your boyfriend. It’s just going to take a little bit of betting used to, okay? It’s weird enough actually dating someone, let alone a guy.” Castiel said shyly.
“Well if I’m going to be honest, you’re my first boyfriend too. I’ve only ever gone after girls because they’re so damn easy to charm. Besides, I never really wanted to believe that I liked guys; I felt ashamed looking at guys in the changing rooms without them knowing. So I kept telling myself that it was impossible for me to have a crush on a another dude…I thought that maybe if I denied it long enough, I’d be just like everyone else. But then you came along and kind of confirmed everything for me. I guess it was only a matter of time before I had to give in and accept it.”
“I’m sorry, Dean. But you know there’s nothing wrong with liking guys instead of girls. You’re still the same Dean Winchester, but now you just like sucking dick.”
Dean shoved Castiel lightly. “For your information, I’ve never sucked a dick.”
“Yeah, well, you think about it, don’t you?” Castiel giggled. “Or perhaps you think about other guys sucking yours.”
“If I’m being totally honest with you, Cas, I’ve never actually thought about anyone in that way before. When I think of you it’s almost completely different; all I can think about is kissing you and cuddling you and holding your hand and keeping you close while you sleep…although I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to-”
“I’m sorry! It’s not my fault my brain works like that. You’re just so goddamn beautiful.” Dean smiled.
Castiel reached out and took one of Dean’s hands. “One step at a time, okay?” he giggled. “But promise me you’ll never try any of that stuff on me until I’m ready.”
“I promise, Cas.”
Castiel smiled to himself and resumed his position, lying against Dean’s chest, feeling him breathe softly into his hair. He closed his eyes and smiled to himself where he knew Dean wouldn’t see. He smiled to himself because he really loved Dean, but it had just taken him a little longer to work it out.