So finally it's here, the next chapter! A few things, this has a TRIGGER WARNING! And is a little short because it comes in two parts. I would really appreciate feedback on this chapter because this is the result of getting over the writers block I had for this story and I'm worried you may not like it as much.
Also I wrote two oneshots whilst in writers block mode and if you could would you maybe check them out? The first is called The Elevator (Smut warning) http://ficwad.com/story/222574
And the second is called Remember Me... My very first Killjoys/DD fic http://ficwad.com/story/222587
Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this chapter and if you could please R&R that would be amazing but no pressure :) Thank you
Oh yeah! The song for this chapter is Let it be by The Beatles
A thousand thoughts. They whizzed around Frank's mind like a never ending roundabout but always came to one inevitable conclusion, he was a danger and that meant he was putting the others in danger too. He had to go.
Quietly he waited until the house was silent, until his lover was sleeping soundly, and slipped out of bed. Grabbing the few items he had, he kissed Gerard's head softly and snuck out of the room. He made his way down the hall and peered into Mikey's room, for a moment he watched them sleep then quietly shut the door. Finally he made his way to the final bedroom and walked inside, Ray's room. He sat on the bed and took in his surrounding's, the few posters on the walls making Frank wonder whether Ray had hung them or simply left them up when he moved in. Briefly he thought of how mad Ray would be at the mess Mikey and Gerard had left in his bedroom, the thought making him stifle a laugh as not to wake the others. Frank stood and walked back to the door "I'll see you soon buddy..." then clicked it shut before tip toeing down the stairs.
Next he stood in the front room, smiling sadly as he looked over at the sofa. It was as if he was watching the memory play out in front of him. The very first he and Gerard shared happened on that sofa, he recalled the soft yet desperate feeling of their lips meshing. The want that filled him, the desire that coursed through his veins and finally Gerard holding him through the night as they slept. Running a finger across his lips he left, only leaving behind a note apologizing for putting them through hell and asking that they didn't try to find him. It occurred to him, as he made his way down the road, he didn't need any of his belongings, not where he was going. The sky had cleared and the stars shone brightly, nestled in the blanket of the night sky. The ground was wet and Frank smiled as he thought of the day in the rain, the day they kissed with such passion he almost dropped to his knees. 'We could have been perfect' he thought to himself 'If things were different we could have had it all'.
Frank had decided to leave this world, and those he had grown to love, behind. If he didn't have his mortality to fight for then there would be no reason for anyone else to die. It was an easy decision for him, at least this way he'd be going out on his own terms. It was a small comfort at least but his heart still tore into pieces as he imagined Gerard's grief, that would probably be his only regret. Not explaining, although Gerard would probably work it out on his own, and not saying goodbye. A tear rolled down his cheek and for a moment his mind flickered, debating whether or not to go through with it, but his mind was made up and now he had to be strong.
The young man arrived at his destination and closed his eyes for a moment, just breathing in the scent of the damp night air. He looked around, smiling at how beautiful the world was, wishing he had realized sooner. For one last time he crouched down and ran his hand across the grass, feeling the gentle blades between his fingers before standing and turning toward the building, pushing open the heavy wooden door and stepping inside.
Silently he made his way down the aisle, looking around at the angel statuettes and the stain glass windows displaying the greatest battles of the apostles, until he was faced with a large statue of the virgin Mary. Slowly he kneeled and bowed his head, confessing his sins into the silent church and kissing the statues feet. With tears running down his pink cheeks he stood once more, making a cross between his head, chest and shoulders before walking over to the table full of candles. Lighting seven in total, two for Ray and Christa, one for Father Bryar, one for his mother, two for Mikey and Dani and finally the largest one for Gerard. For the boy who saved his life and for the love they shared...a love he would take into his afterlife, a love eternal.
For a while he just watched the flames flicker, eventually deciding that it was time. Once again he walked to the alter and sat at the feet of Mary, reaching into his bag and pulling out the blade his father had given him. Taking a deep breath he placed the blade on his wrist and closed his eyes, he lifted his head toward the heavens and whispered "Heaven help me..." and dragged the dagger across the pale skin of his wrist. A sudden vibrating startled him and for a moment he put down the blade, instead pulling the phone from his pocket. He realized he must have picked up Gerard's jacket and smiled, maybe this was God's way of allowing him to say goodbye.
"Frankie? Where are you?" Gerard's desperate voice shouted down the line
"Saving you baby, saving Mikey and Dani..."
"How?! What do you mean saving us? Come home baby...or tell me where you are? please?"
"It's too late for that Gee, 'm headfirst for halo's...or hell, depends where they put me..."
"What?! Frankie? Where are you?! Tell me please..." The older man choked, sudden realization dawning on him...
"I gotta go now Gee, I'm getting a little light headed here so I need to finish the job..." the blood loss making him feel a little drunk "...I love you...goodbye baby..."
"Franki..." Frank hit end call and slipped the phone back into his pocket and closing his eyes to try and stop his head spinning, he picked up the blade and once again dragged the blade across his other arm. Slowly he lay back and smiled, closing his eyes and letting himself slip away. Opening his eyes a little when a sudden warmth surrounded him and a soft hand wrapped around his own, his eyes adjusted to the light and suddenly he recognized the face smiling above his own
Okay, I just wanted to remind you guys that Frank is fighting personal demons too, not just the real ones, so please don't hate me and please R&R if you can xoxoxo