Said the sign above the door, 'To make sure your bite is as good as your bark' FRERARD ONESHOT NOW COMPLETED [contains smut!]
‘ Dr. Frank Iero – Supernatural Dentist,’
Said the sign above the door.
‘To make sure your bite is as good as your bark.’
Gerard sighed as he finished reading the sign, hesitating before receiving a look from Mikey and opening the door.
This sucked. This really, really sucked, he thought glumly to himself as they entered the waiting room. Whoever heard of a vampire needing to go to the dentist? That part had certainly never been mentioned in the movies.
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself,” Mikey’s voice broke through his thoughts, “Everyone has to go to the dentist.”
“But Mikey,” Gerard whined, “I’m a creature of the night – with fangs.”
He pointed to his fangs to emphasize the point before Mikey smirked and he quickly shut his mouth.
“I’m just saying, I shouldn’t have to go to the dentist now…”
“Well it’s your own fault.” Said Mikey calmly. “Now go and check in with the nice lady.”
Gerard scowled like a surly child before reluctantly allowing himself to be marched up to the reception desk.
The woman at reception looked up; flashing them a smile with her own pristine white fangs.
“What can I do for you sweetie?” She asked kindly. Her voice seemed friendly and soothing to Gerard; he briefly wondered if she were trying to enthral him – it wouldn’t be the first time – but no, she was just a genuinely nice receptionist. Huh.
“Gerard Way,” He replied, “Here to see, uh, Dr. Iero – I have an appointment.”
“Ok.” Responded the receptionist – Lindsey her name tag said.
“You just need to fill in this”- She handed him a form, “And then you can go sit down.”
Gerard quickly filled in the form and handed it back.
“Ok hon, you’ll be called through shortly, sorry if it takes a while; we’re a bit behind today – werewolf kid with half a squirrel tangled in his braces.” She shuddered.
Gerard nodded, half-preocupied with that delightful idea, and walked over to the chairs, Mikey sitting down next to him, texting. He looked around the waiting room, there were a few people but it wasn’t overly packed; he noticed a few other vampires and a couple of werewolves - calmly reading magazines and not in any obvious pain so probably on in for a check-up-; a zombie mournfully staring down at a handful of rotten teeth and a nervous-looking witch sitting next to him.
The walls were covered in informative posters declaring such things as “Have no hands? Sign up for our helping-hand toothbrushing programme today!” and “Sugar free blood significantly lowers the chances of fang-rot, ask your donor for the option!”
As dentist waiting rooms went, it wasn’t so bad; the chairs were comfy; the magazines were in date; someone had sprayed air freshener on the zombie, but that didn’t change the fact that Gerard really didn’t want to be there. Dentists, ugh.
Dentists had all sorts of pointy implements which they used to poke around your mouth, and a nasty bright light that hurt your eyes even with sunglasses, and needles. Needles. Poking into his gums…
He ran his tongue over his left fang for the millionth time that day. Ow, it still hurt and was still like that. He stared down and started twiddling his thumbs.
“Stop fidgeting,” Mikey complained, looking up from his phone.
“But Mikey, needles.”
“A vampire that’s afraid of needles,” Mikey scoffed, but squeezed Gerard’s shoulder comfortingly anyway.
After a while, a dark haired woman stepped out of practice room 3.
“Gerard Way, Dr Iero will see you now.” She announced.
Gerard got to his feet and glanced at Mikey: on one hand he was scared but on the other, he didn’t want his baby brother to see him freaking out so much. In the end Mikey made the decision for him, sighing before uncrossing his legs, getting up and following him into the practice room, whispering “Come on Gee, you’ll be fine”.
The first thing Gerard noticed upon entering the practice room was that it looked just like a normal dentists’. The second thing he noticed upon entering the practice room was that holy-fucking–dragon-balls, his dentist was hot.
Dr Iero was short – maybe that made his hotness more concentrated, Gerard didn’t know; his hair was a perfect mid-length and a luscious dark brown and Gerard was no hairdresser, but he could recognise volume when he saw it and boy could he see it (and boy did that sound camp even in his head…). He had tattoos, too, all over the visible skin on his arms; oh and what a fine jugular, his throat was moving and Gerard bet there were some fine vocal chords in there, vibrating…
Oh, he was speaking. He was speaking to Gerard!
Gerard quickly stopped staring at his dentist’s neck.
“Uhm, could you repeat that please?” He asked sheepishly.
“Sure” Dr Iero smiled, “I was just saying you can call me Frank and I will be seeing you today.”
“Oh hi, I’m Gerard.”
“I know, so what is it I have to do for you today, Gerard?”
“I… chipped a fang.”
Frank looked at him incredulously. “How did you manage to do that?”
Gerard looked down and rubbed his neck, “I uhm..”
Mikey did that annoying thing where he kind of cold-burned him with a glare, to prompt him.
“I- I forgot to tie my shoelaces and tripped when going to feed and accidentally bit a metal pipe.”
“Ok, I must admit I’ve never heard of that happening before, but trust me I’ve had some equally absurd injuries.”
“Really?” Mikey interjected, “Were they as hilarious as this though?”
Gerard scowled but Frank just smiled, “Some of them.” Before turning back to Gerard and asking him to sit down.
“Will the straps be necessary?” He asked, gesturing to the thick straps hanging off the otherwise normal dental chair. “Don’t be offended but we have to ask, as some patients react pretty violently.”
“No.” Said Gerard at the same time as Mikey said “Yes”.
“We’ll take that as a no then”, added the previously quiet dark-haired dental assistant. “I’m Alicia by the way.”
Gerard hesitantly got into the chair, relieved when no one went against their word and buckled him in. Frank pressed a button and the chair slowly lifted up and tipped back. Oh fuck, was Gerard nervous. Alicia gave him a pair of dark shades before turning on the hideously bright light.
Gerard hissed, in some sort of weird vampire primal reaction, as the blinding beams shone even through the black tint of the glasses.
“Oh I’m sorry Mr Way!” Alicia apologised; hastily fiddling with the buttons on the light until it dimmed a bit. “I forgot to turn it to sunlight-sensitive mode”.
Gerard just waved off the apology, rather embarrassed over his hissing.
“Are you ok?” Asked Frank, looking so genuinely concerned Gerard felt rather honoured.
Gerard nodded. The pain caused by the light had only been fleeting.
Suddenly, Mikey’s phone started ringing and he whipped it out of his back pocket, sighing as he glanced at the caller ID before answering. “Yeah?”
The person on the other line began to speak and Mikey nodded.
“Again…?” He asked exasperatedly.
He turned to Gerard, “Hey, Gee, sorry to leave you man, but can I take this? – it’s just Pete’s turned Patrick into a Guinea Pig again…”
“Again? What happened this time?” Gerard asked.
“Ugh.. He was trying to find out Patrick’s patronous.”
“Patrick has a patronous? Is that even possible?”
“Not so far, but you try telling Pete that..” Mikey sighed, rubbing his forehead.
“Ok… you can go sort it out.” Gerard begrudgingly allowed. Younger brothers with idiot sorcerer friends were the worst.
Frank, whom had been watching this exchange with unbridled curiosity watched Mikey leave the room before turning to Gerard.
“Ok, time to get started.”
Frank picked up a little mirror on a stick and a metal hooked-stick thing and proceeded to lean over Gerard’s open mouth. It was a good job that that old myth about vampires having no reflection wasn’t true, because Frank’s job would be quite a bit harder, Gerard thought, and it was already an incredibly tricky profession what with silver restrictions and transforming mouth shapes and holy fuck; Frank was leaning right over him. His hands were in his mouth and oh shit there was only a thin layer of latex separating those tattoos from Gerard’s tongue.
“Nngh,” Gerard made a rather unholy noise.
“Are you alright?” Frank asked, pulling back slightly, “I’m only looking at the extent of damage done to the tooth, that shouldn’t hurt.”
“Oh , no I just remembered how it hurt when I broke it,” Gerard supplied, because honesty was not always the best policy in situations involving super-hot dentists and hand tattoos.
“Ok,” Frank said, “Yes, your left fang definitely needs a crown, we can do that now from you details on the system, Alicia?”
“Doing it,” She replied.
Gerard looked over and watched in amazement as she mixed together some white powders with her hand, whilst carefully studying a piece of paper. She then made a complicated hand gesture and a tiny, perfect specimen of fang rose up from the small dish.
“Whoa.” Breathed Gerard, because magic would never cease to amaze him.
Frank smiled at him, “You new to all this?” he asked.
“Yes, well, no”, stumbled Gerard, because he’d been brought up around magic, sure, and he’d been seeing a lot more of it since he’d started vampirism, but it was still really cool when he saw a new application of it in the real world.
Frank just grinned, “ It’s awesome isn’t it?.. Oh!”
The crown has started growing from it’s levitating position- it was ready, it seemed.
“That’s great, Alicia, ok Gerard, we’re going to need to numb you up a little before we attach it, is that ok?”
Gerard made an embarrassing hissing noise, his eyes opening wide in fear.
“I’m guessing that’s not ok?”
“I erm,” Gerard looked down at an interesting stain on the leg of his jeans. “I have a phobia of needles…”
“A vampire with a phobia of needles,” Said Frank, but not laughing at Gerard like Mikey was, for which Gerard was very grateful.
“I’m afraid I have to numb you up, otherwise it’ll kill dude..”
Gerard clamped his mouth shut and shook his head.
“Ok, ok, let me just try something, don’t worry see, I have the anaesthetic here and I’m not going to inject you.”
Gerard stared at Frank, trying to figure out the dude’s game. Frank slowly leaned forward, touching Gerard’s lips with one hand and Gerard shivered slightly, letting Frank gently open his mouth.
“Now Gerard,” Frank said softly, “I’m just touching your gum.”
And he was, stroking right up underneath Gerard’s top lip, near the bad tooth, it didn’t feel bad.
“Now, can you close your eyes for me, Gerard.”
Gerard did so, still feeling a pool of fear somewhere between the bottom of his chest and the middle of his throat, but Frank’s voice was soothing and… nice.
“Ok, now can you stay very still for me for 15 seconds, that’s great baby.”
What? Baby? Did Frank just call him baby? Was that a standard Dentist to patient term? Gerard was perplexed, so perplexed he almost didn’t notice his lip being moved; his gum being poked slightly. Somewhere in the distance Frank was counting, and then – then it was all over.
“That was great Gerard, you ok, dude?” Frank was smiling at Gerard as if he genuinely had done something great and Gerard felt warm all over. If he could blush he would probably be doing that right now.
“Yeah,” He let out a small smile.
“Awesome.” Frank returned the smile. Oh wow, Gerard thought, they were having a moment here. His top lip was even tingling from it, oh wait…
Alicia coughed and Frank broke the gaze. “Ok,” he said your tooth should be nice and numb by now so we should get started.”
Alicia put a piece of cotton wool near under his lip to prop it up, and Frank began doing things to the tooth, Gerard just let his mind wander at this point because however gorgeous his dentist may be, he didn’t exactly want to be there.
Alicia used a sucking-nozzle thing to suck up his spit; Frank put weird goo on his tooth; Alicia made the goo glow; Frank carefully applied the crown, muttering some strange words, and soon it was done.
As Alicia was passing him some disgusting pink mouthwash, there was a commotion outside, it sounded like some shouting, possible growling and what definitely sounded like chairs being moved aggressively. Gerard spat the vile pink liquid into the sink and turned to Frank and Alicia who were looking at the door.
Then, almost as soon as the confrontation had started Alicia was on her feet and out the door into the waiting room; she seemed to be clutching what looked like a crossbow and was emitting a faint blue glow; Frank did not stand in her way.
As the door swung shut (and seemed to lock?) Gerard looked at Frank and said “Erm..?”.
“That happens a couple of times a week, it’ll unlock when it’s over, don’t worry though, Alicia should have taken care of it by the time you leave.” Frank shrugged. “You just need to wait a few minutes for your tooth to set, runes finish binding, that kinda thing”.
“Ok,” replied Gerard, articulately. It was just Gerard’s luck that a hot, awesome and nice guy would start talking to him, but it was after he had exposed himself as a huge wuss – there was no way the guy could be into him now.
Frank slipped into his easy smile, peeled off his gloves- throwing them in the bin- and sat himself down in a spinny chair, humming a tune under his breath as he sidled up to Gerard.
“So..” He grinned, “What kind of stuff are you into?”
“Erm, well I like comics and music and art and stuff” Gerard awkwardly replied, wishing he had something more cool and exciting to say about himself to the obviously cool Frank.
Frank though, didn’t seem to mind. “That’s awesome,” he grinned, smiling right at Gerard, “You like Black Flag?”
As soon as Gerard started to nod, Frank was rolling up his sleeve. His arm had a multitude of patterns inked into the flesh, and on his upper arm were the proud blag bars of the Black Flag logo.
“Awesome,” Gerard enthused, he enjoyed skin art a lot, how much ink do you have.”
“Well,” Frank let out a surprisingly dorky giggle for such a hot guy.
“I have the arms, the neck one, and some more under my clothing I can’t really show you right here,” he smirked.
“Oh,” Gerard said because really, what was he supposed to say to that? “Well,” He burst out in an extraordinary vein of confidence, “ Maybe you could show me some other time.”
“I’d like that.” Frank replied in a low and sultry voice that went straight to Gerard’s nether reigons.
Gerard readjusted the placement of his hands upon his lap, because what with the adrenaline, the tingle of returning sensation in his lips and Frank, this situation could get very uncomfortable soon.
Frank smiled, “So...” He started, “Is the numbness starting to go away yet?”
“Mmhmm,” Hummed Gerard, “I mean yeah I think so...”
“Good,” Frank leaned forward further over Gerard and Gerard could feel his blood in his veins, moving faster than the usual slow course of almost dead-ness. Frank traced his now un-gloved index finger over Gerard’s slightly parted lips and Gerard could feel his skin. He could sense, practically smell, the hot blood pumping through Frank’s body, vibrant, alive and not quite human. Franks finger left a trail of warmth and touch Gerard couldn’t help following with his tongue.
Frank smirked at this, tugging on his own bottom lip with his teeth almost hypnotically and Gerard thought he saw the tiny dot of a lip piercing hole. Gerard was staring openly now, since Frank was doing the same.
The moment of tantalising tension was broken when Gerard leaned up and Frank leaned down and their lips touched; gently, softly, almost shyly at first, until they gained momentum crashing their lips together in a messy clash of spit and lust. Gerard tangled his hands through Frank’s hair pulling him closer and Frank flailed slightly before reaching over Gerard’s shoulder to lean on the chair behind him. Their tongues slid together in an effort to be as close to each other as possible; lips and getting caught up sometimes between obnoxious fangs and teeth but things were too heated to really pay attention to that.
After a couple of minutes Frank did his best to clamber onto the chair over Gerard, they briefly had to break the kiss as Frank straddled Gerard’s thighs, leaning over him.
“Erm so,” said Gerard.
“Hi,” Said Frank.
There was a moment’s silence before they both giggled.
“Do you do this with all your patients?” Asked Gerard.
“What? No, it’s just-“ Frank started, seeming quite worried before he looked at Gerard’s amused face. “-Oh fuck you!” He laughed, and Gerard did too.
“No,” Frank said at last, “There’s just something quite special about you Gerard Way.”
Gerard grinned and reached up to bring Frank’s mouth back to his.
Soon the kiss returned to its former frenzy; and things were getting quite heated for Gerard down there, too. The feeling seemed to be mutual, as Frank ground down his hips to Gerard’s and their hard crotches rubbed together. Gerard muffled a moan in Frank’s mouth and Frank made a “nngh” noise.
Frank gripped Gerard’s shoulders as he rolled his hips, Gerard holding onto Frank’s back, desperate for more of this delicious friction. Frank pulled away from Gerard’s lips to murmur “You’re so fucking hot, Gerard,” Into his ear and set to work sucking and biting on Gerard’s neck, in an ironic mimic of vampirism.
Gerard gasped, reaching down between them to feel Frank’s hardness as he ground down.
“Fuck,” Panted Frank, returning to Gerard’s mouth as he reached his own hand down, pausing to unbutton and unzip the denim of Gerard’s jeans before fingers dipped down beneath his boxer shorts’ waistband. Gerard thrust upwards as Frank wrapped his strong fingers around his aching erection, twisting his wrist just right.
Frank was grinding down faster now moaning as Gerard lost control: letting out tiny gasping noises for air he didn’t need and thrusting into Frank’s tight grip; hand slick with precome. Soon the pleasure was just too much and Gerard fell over the edge, coming all over Frank’s hand and his underwear. Shortly after, Frank met his own climax, his hips stuttering as he came in his pants.
They just collapsed together in a heap of tired limbs and afterglow for a few minutes before the sound of the door unlocking prompted them to clean up. Frank grabbed some paper towel from the table near them and hastened to clean himself and Gerard up.
“So,” Inquired Frank as he finished wiping Gerard’s stomach while Gerard did up his fly, “Do you do that with all your dentists?”
“Only the pretty ones,” answered playfully.
“Oh fuck you!” Said Frank with a grin.
Frank was washing his hands in the sink when the door suddenly swung open and Mikey wandered in.
“Hey Gee, you ok? I was out there when this huge-“
Mikey looked at Gerard and looked at Frank.
“Ew, Gee you did not, my eyes!” He wailed, as though sex hair was the worst he could have seen. “ God Gerard.” He walked back out.
Seconds later Alicia returned; she seemed unscathed except for some singeing and what looked like splatters of blood on her overalls. She smirked at Frank silently and put the cross bow into a cupboard.
Gerard had got up by this point and was waiting to be dismissed, he hoped he would see Frank again though, it would be a travesty for this to be just a one-time thing. What if Frank didn’t want to see him again though..
“Ok Gerard, you will be able to eat after half an hour, but you should make an appointment to see me again in the next couple of months,” Frank passed Gerard a piece of paper.
“It was a pleasure,” Said Gerard, because really, it was. He smiled at both Alicia and Frank before stepping back out into the waiting room.
“So,” Began Mikey who had been using the waiting room for its purpose and waiting, “I’m just going to skim over the part where I say how weird it is that you just had sex with your dentist, at the dentists’, and ask if you’re going to see him again, did you get his number?”
“I didn’t…” Gerard trailed off.
“What’s that then?” Mikey nodded at the piece of paper.
Gerard looked down at the piece of paper. Written on it was:
I get off work at 6, meet up with me (as in a date) ? :)
And a phone number.
“Oh!” Burst out Gerard happily, “I guess I did then.”
Mikey rolled his eyes and they left the Dental practice, but Gerard was too busy grinning to care. He had a date.
So that was that! (I've never written smut before so I hope it was the right amount of sexual) Love it? Hate it? Cry at the dentist?(I did once) Notice any mistakes? Please R&R to let me know what you think :)
Oh and if any of you want to follow me on tumblr, that'd be cool, my band blog is my-chemicat-romeownce and my main is pumpkinternet