Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Only Hope for Me is...
Dear Readers,
I post this here rather than on my other stories for one reason only. I know that, of all my readers, those who stuck with The Only Hope are those who truly cared about my writing, at least a little, and it is to you that this letter is directed.
It has been years since I have written anything of substance. The heinous attack on my account was not the trigger for this, though it was a major reason that I stopped posting. What I have found since then is that my writing has suffered for it. It was truly the fan input that made me continue writing, even when I had no time for it, or felt it was unnecessary. It hurts to see this in myself - this apathy towards something that I have always loved so much.
It is currently finals week of my sophomore year of high school. With five college exams to study for, on top of high school classes, I'm really not certain what made me want to log in tonight. I did, and found my account as it had been when I left - utterly destroyed. A wasteland. I can see my twelve-year-old rage trying to combat the immature person who decided to take away my joy in seeing my account lit up with reviews and positivity, and almost logged out like I always do when I come back to this site. However, I didn't. I stopped myself. Maybe it was nostalgia, but I decided to look at what I actually had posted here. And what I saw struck me dumb.
The views on my page. I had never really looked before. On Early Sunsets, which never crossed two chapters, I had nearly a thousand views. On The Only Hope, my pride and joy, nearly two thousand. It shocked me that so many people could have spent their time reading over my material and enjoying it. It was... exhilarating. And it opened my heart a little more to the idea of bringing it back. Reviving what was here.
I'm opening a new account. I said it before, and the account suffered. But now, I mean it. I leave this as a boneyard of what it was and who I was and move on to something new. A new beginning. I'll bring back some of what was here, and start anew with things I've yet to release on this forum. Who knows? Maybe it will rekindle my hope in myself. Maybe this is what I need to combat the depression and anxiety that have taken such a strong hold of me. And maybe I'm being melodramatic. We'll see.
I have a job now, and a boyfriend who is leaving for college in less than three months. I have school and responsibilities as a new black belt in the American Martial Arts Alliance. I am working for a college degree before graduating high school, and am still trying to keep myself sane in the middle. Updates are likely to be scarce. I may take month-long hiatuses trying to catch up with life. But I will be here, for those of you who want me to. Hell, I'm not even sure who still has me on their email list. But whatever the case may be, I am back, in some fashion. Thank you for bringing me back to what I love.
My new account will be posted shortly. I will leave a name to look for as soon as I have it up and running. Thank you again.
~MCRmygirl
I post this here rather than on my other stories for one reason only. I know that, of all my readers, those who stuck with The Only Hope are those who truly cared about my writing, at least a little, and it is to you that this letter is directed.
It has been years since I have written anything of substance. The heinous attack on my account was not the trigger for this, though it was a major reason that I stopped posting. What I have found since then is that my writing has suffered for it. It was truly the fan input that made me continue writing, even when I had no time for it, or felt it was unnecessary. It hurts to see this in myself - this apathy towards something that I have always loved so much.
It is currently finals week of my sophomore year of high school. With five college exams to study for, on top of high school classes, I'm really not certain what made me want to log in tonight. I did, and found my account as it had been when I left - utterly destroyed. A wasteland. I can see my twelve-year-old rage trying to combat the immature person who decided to take away my joy in seeing my account lit up with reviews and positivity, and almost logged out like I always do when I come back to this site. However, I didn't. I stopped myself. Maybe it was nostalgia, but I decided to look at what I actually had posted here. And what I saw struck me dumb.
The views on my page. I had never really looked before. On Early Sunsets, which never crossed two chapters, I had nearly a thousand views. On The Only Hope, my pride and joy, nearly two thousand. It shocked me that so many people could have spent their time reading over my material and enjoying it. It was... exhilarating. And it opened my heart a little more to the idea of bringing it back. Reviving what was here.
I'm opening a new account. I said it before, and the account suffered. But now, I mean it. I leave this as a boneyard of what it was and who I was and move on to something new. A new beginning. I'll bring back some of what was here, and start anew with things I've yet to release on this forum. Who knows? Maybe it will rekindle my hope in myself. Maybe this is what I need to combat the depression and anxiety that have taken such a strong hold of me. And maybe I'm being melodramatic. We'll see.
I have a job now, and a boyfriend who is leaving for college in less than three months. I have school and responsibilities as a new black belt in the American Martial Arts Alliance. I am working for a college degree before graduating high school, and am still trying to keep myself sane in the middle. Updates are likely to be scarce. I may take month-long hiatuses trying to catch up with life. But I will be here, for those of you who want me to. Hell, I'm not even sure who still has me on their email list. But whatever the case may be, I am back, in some fashion. Thank you for bringing me back to what I love.
My new account will be posted shortly. I will leave a name to look for as soon as I have it up and running. Thank you again.
~MCRmygirl
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