Categories > Books > Harry Potter > My Wife is Who?
My Wife is -
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Chapter Five: A Good Pair Of Tits Of Course
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"Don't talk to me," Ron said as we sat down at the Gryffindor table amidst the excited talks on all sides on what happened.
"Why not?" asked Hermione in surprise.
"Because I want to fix that in my memory forever," said Ron, his eye closed and an uplifted expression on his face, "Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret…"
I laughed with Hermione at that.
Well it was really funny.
I didn't know how Malfoy will cope up with shame. Hmmm… maybe he will become a shut in and won't leave the snake's den for an extended period of time. That would be good. Handling him had become irritating…
I need a change of pace…
What to do?...
What to do?...
Argghh… I can't think of anything better to do…
Why? Oh, why do they need to cancel the Quidditch this year?
"He really could have really hurt Malfoy, though," said Hermione, the ever-sensible one. "It was good, really, that Professor McGonagall stopped it—"
"Hermione," said Ron furiously, his eyes snapping open again, "you're ruining the best moments of my life!"
I silently laugh as he said this because not doing so would earn the ire of my bushy haired friend.
Watching the ferret Malfoy, bouncing in the halls was really funny.
I wonder if Moody chose that form because he knows that Malfoy was liked a ferret. It was like his inner self.
It would have been funny if it really is his Animagus form if he ever chooses to be an Animagus.
Wait…
Animagus…
I think I found something that will alleviate my boredom.
I have a letter or two to send to Sirius…
My thoughts were interrupted as I noticed Hermione sudden movements…
"Don't tell me you're going back to the library this evening?" I said.
"Got to," Hermione said thickly, "loads to do."
"But you told us Professor Vector—"
"It's not schoolwork," she said. And within five minutes she was gone…
I was about to follow her but before I could get up, Fred Weasley takes her spot next to me…
"Moody!" he said. "How cool is he?"
"Beyond cool," George said, sitting down next to me, making it that I was sandwiched between the twins.
"Super cool," Lee Jordan said sitting next to George. "We have him this afternoon."
"What was it like?" I asked curiously, the thought of following Hermione was swayed out from my mind because of my curiosity.
The twins and their best friend looked at each other.
"Never had a lesson like it," said Fred.
"He knows man," said Lee.
"Knows what?" asked Ron, leaning forward.
"Knows what it's like to be doing it" George further teased.
"Doing what?" I asked.
"Fighting the Dark Arts," said Fred.
"He's seen it all," said George.
"'Mazing," said Lee.
Ron dived into his bag for his schedule only to be disappointed since Moody's class was two days away.
It was funny to see the twins with their friend continue to tease Ron.
Fred and George was giving some half information to Ron to raise the latter expectation, only to crushed when he figured that he wouldn't get any more information from the twins.
But he quickly perked up as food appeared in the table.
"Hey Gred, we're here to say something to Harry, aren't we?" George asked his twin.
"Yeah, Forge. But I seem to forget it," Fred answered.
"Has it something to do with our new joke?" George asked.
"No, that wasn't it. I think Harry already know our joke about the jester, the ghost, the goblin and the wizard."
"What about something called blubbering humberders?'
"No."
"Crumpled snorkhak?"
"No."
"What about the Nargles?"
"No."
"Wrackspurts?"
"No, that wasn't it. And what was blubbering humberders, Crumpled snorkhak, Nargles, and Wrackspurt for that matter? Where did you get all that?" Fred asked confused about whatever it is that his twin was sprouting.
"You didn't know all that. I have assumed that at least by now you have encountered that crazy third year Ravenclaw," George said to his twin looking unbelievably.
"Speaking of Ravenclaws, do you see Mandy Brocklehurst? She had grown a good pair this summer, hadn't she?" Fred said changing the topic.
"A good pair of what?" I asked wondering what he was talking about.
"A good pair of tits of course," George said proudly as he looked at the Ravenclaw Table, "Just look at those lumps of flesh."
I couldn't see my face right now by I know that there was a blush on my face base from hot it is. I wasn't ready for that type of talk yet.
Well that was I like to say but my eye unconsciously shifted to the table of Ravens and I can admit that Mandy really grew quite well. Looks like the list of the bustiest witch of Hogwarts needed to be revised.
"Well, you wouldn't want Alicia and Angelina to hear you say that of course," I said. I had to maintain my image after all. I'm a pure innocent fourteen year old boy. I wasn't interested in those things (yet).
I had expected them to shut up by my subtle threat. It was no secret that Alicia and Angelina was the only person who could keep the twins in line. An admirable feat as their own mother can't keep them in line.
"Well of course. You wouldn't interest with such things- eh, little Harrikins," Fred countered back.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said obliviously. I can see where this conversation would go.
"Little Harrikins all grown up," George said, ignoring what I said as he rubbed his eyes clearing the tears that was not there, "In seemed like yesterday since our first meeting when you asked us to help you curry your luggage. You were so small back then."
"Yeah," Fred sniffed a fake sob, "But now, look at yourself. You're now chasing a girl. You fill this old man with such pride and joy."
"Grrr," I growled under my throat as I plot murder for both of them.
It was a shame to that I still don't know how to properly hide a body.
I'm just joking of course. I wouldn't really murder both of them.
It was bother.
So forgot what I had said right now.
And if someone questions you about the disappearance of the twins I expect you not to connect their disappearance with me.
Or else….
But seriously, note to self, don't threaten the twins. At least not out front.
"Look, Cho Chang's coming here," Fred pointed out as he seemed to look at something at my back.
"Do you really expect me to fall from such simple trick," I asked both of them.
"Of course not," George scoffed, "the almighty boy-who-lived wouldn't fall for such tricks."
I decided to ignore both of them. I didn't have any counter attacks for now. Even if he teased the twins about the elder chasers, it wouldn't do any good. The twins had managed to score this round.
I decided to ignore them, but instead choose to copy Ron eat obliviously to world around him. It was a wonder how Ron could focus at a single task. But it didn't surprise me since Ron and food combined could only result in one thing. The food would vanish not leaving a trace behind.
But I can't get off this feeling as I watched the twins eyes seemed to follow something or someone with expectations in their eyes as if something exciting was about to happen.
"Harry," an angelic voice called out to me.
My entire body freezes up. Only one person can produce those melodic tones that lighten up my day.
"Harry," the angelic voice said, "Can I talk to you for a moment."
I slowly turned around, holding my breath so that I wouldn't freak out to see the one that needed to talk to me.
"Hello Cho!" I managed to say but my tone ended in a high pitch. Don't blame me. It's just that puberty was setting in. My tone didn't change because Cho was grateful enough to come to our table to talk to me. You got it. It was not related at all.
I fought back a grimace as Cho giggled at my tone. It also didn't help that the twins was snickering in the background as I try my best to tone them down.
"Do you need something? Cho," I asked after I calmed myself.
I watched as Cho spent a few moments to compose herself as she smiled before saying, "Can I talk with you for moment?"
"Of-of course," I quickly said as I attempted to stand up, but unfortunately (or fortunately based from how you looked at it), precisely at that moment—I would later learn that—Ron attempted to reach a roasted chicken away from him in the table. Things quickly escalated at that time, as Ron's attempt in reaching the roasted chicken leg, he had pushed Fred a little bit which in turn pushed me as we were side by side.
Later after learning about this particular event, I thought that it was bit sketchy.
I suspect, it was all Fred doing, but I didn't know if I wanted to beat him to death or thank him.
Because right now…
…
Right now, I was in heaven as I kissed my beloved Cho.
…
During all that commotion with Ron happening at the same I was about to stand up. Fred pushed me a little bit making me off balance as a result I was now hugging and kissing my beloved Cho.
…
I was in heaven…
There was an added bonus to all of it…
Due to the shock of suddenly kissing her, my angel Cho was too shocked to move…
And because of that, the kiss lasted for a few more seconds…
Hmmmm…. Cho's lips taste a bit like strawberries.
I can die happily right now…
Even if a dementor passed overhead, I would great him as we were old acquaintances…
What you expect me to say I would also kissed a dementor thinking that my happiness I'm feeling right now would destroy the dementor?
Are you a fool?
I couldn't die until I was married to my angel Cho...
So stop dreaming…
.
.
.
Sorry, I mean continue reading and please review
o0oOo0o
Merlin….
I can't believe that I actually kissed Cho Chang….
But this proves that the time-slip is real!
Cho Chang will be my bride!
We gonna get married…
Wooohhoooooo!...
But I'm so embarrassed by what I do just now…
I was just lucky that I managed to worm my way to the Gryffindors boys' dorm before anyone managed to tease me…
And it was lucky that we have no more class for the rest of day…
My heart can't take it anymore…
I'm so embarrassed of why I just do…
I want to dieeeee…
No, I can't marry Cho Chang if I die!
I'd rather die if I can't marry her!
Wha
Aren't I going to die either way?
What should I do now!?
I want to dieeeee…
No, I want to kill Ron first before I die….
Tak Tak Tak
What was that?
Tak Tak Tak
I looked at the window and notice that Hedwig was there with a letter in her left foot. She was waiting for me to open the window so she can enter.
I opened the window and let Hedwig in.
Hedwig you really are a gift from the heavens. You always show up at the right moment to provide distraction from some embarrassing thoughts.
I quickly dug up some Owl treats for my favorite owl. Someone would say that I was bit biased since Hedwig was my one and only owl. I would just answer that Hedwig was the best and I didn't need any other owl.
Hedwig raised her clawed feet to hand me the letter which I eagerly accepted. As soon as I get the letter Hedwig chirped-I mean hooted—before flying out of the window to hunt for a prey to feed upon.
I don't need to open the letter to know that my dogfather was the writer of the letter.
Now let us see what my wayward godfather has to say.
o0oOo0o
Chapter Five: A Good Pair Of Tits Of Course
o0oOo0o
"Don't talk to me," Ron said as we sat down at the Gryffindor table amidst the excited talks on all sides on what happened.
"Why not?" asked Hermione in surprise.
"Because I want to fix that in my memory forever," said Ron, his eye closed and an uplifted expression on his face, "Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret…"
I laughed with Hermione at that.
Well it was really funny.
I didn't know how Malfoy will cope up with shame. Hmmm… maybe he will become a shut in and won't leave the snake's den for an extended period of time. That would be good. Handling him had become irritating…
I need a change of pace…
What to do?...
What to do?...
Argghh… I can't think of anything better to do…
Why? Oh, why do they need to cancel the Quidditch this year?
"He really could have really hurt Malfoy, though," said Hermione, the ever-sensible one. "It was good, really, that Professor McGonagall stopped it—"
"Hermione," said Ron furiously, his eyes snapping open again, "you're ruining the best moments of my life!"
I silently laugh as he said this because not doing so would earn the ire of my bushy haired friend.
Watching the ferret Malfoy, bouncing in the halls was really funny.
I wonder if Moody chose that form because he knows that Malfoy was liked a ferret. It was like his inner self.
It would have been funny if it really is his Animagus form if he ever chooses to be an Animagus.
Wait…
Animagus…
I think I found something that will alleviate my boredom.
I have a letter or two to send to Sirius…
My thoughts were interrupted as I noticed Hermione sudden movements…
"Don't tell me you're going back to the library this evening?" I said.
"Got to," Hermione said thickly, "loads to do."
"But you told us Professor Vector—"
"It's not schoolwork," she said. And within five minutes she was gone…
I was about to follow her but before I could get up, Fred Weasley takes her spot next to me…
"Moody!" he said. "How cool is he?"
"Beyond cool," George said, sitting down next to me, making it that I was sandwiched between the twins.
"Super cool," Lee Jordan said sitting next to George. "We have him this afternoon."
"What was it like?" I asked curiously, the thought of following Hermione was swayed out from my mind because of my curiosity.
The twins and their best friend looked at each other.
"Never had a lesson like it," said Fred.
"He knows man," said Lee.
"Knows what?" asked Ron, leaning forward.
"Knows what it's like to be doing it" George further teased.
"Doing what?" I asked.
"Fighting the Dark Arts," said Fred.
"He's seen it all," said George.
"'Mazing," said Lee.
Ron dived into his bag for his schedule only to be disappointed since Moody's class was two days away.
It was funny to see the twins with their friend continue to tease Ron.
Fred and George was giving some half information to Ron to raise the latter expectation, only to crushed when he figured that he wouldn't get any more information from the twins.
But he quickly perked up as food appeared in the table.
"Hey Gred, we're here to say something to Harry, aren't we?" George asked his twin.
"Yeah, Forge. But I seem to forget it," Fred answered.
"Has it something to do with our new joke?" George asked.
"No, that wasn't it. I think Harry already know our joke about the jester, the ghost, the goblin and the wizard."
"What about something called blubbering humberders?'
"No."
"Crumpled snorkhak?"
"No."
"What about the Nargles?"
"No."
"Wrackspurts?"
"No, that wasn't it. And what was blubbering humberders, Crumpled snorkhak, Nargles, and Wrackspurt for that matter? Where did you get all that?" Fred asked confused about whatever it is that his twin was sprouting.
"You didn't know all that. I have assumed that at least by now you have encountered that crazy third year Ravenclaw," George said to his twin looking unbelievably.
"Speaking of Ravenclaws, do you see Mandy Brocklehurst? She had grown a good pair this summer, hadn't she?" Fred said changing the topic.
"A good pair of what?" I asked wondering what he was talking about.
"A good pair of tits of course," George said proudly as he looked at the Ravenclaw Table, "Just look at those lumps of flesh."
I couldn't see my face right now by I know that there was a blush on my face base from hot it is. I wasn't ready for that type of talk yet.
Well that was I like to say but my eye unconsciously shifted to the table of Ravens and I can admit that Mandy really grew quite well. Looks like the list of the bustiest witch of Hogwarts needed to be revised.
"Well, you wouldn't want Alicia and Angelina to hear you say that of course," I said. I had to maintain my image after all. I'm a pure innocent fourteen year old boy. I wasn't interested in those things (yet).
I had expected them to shut up by my subtle threat. It was no secret that Alicia and Angelina was the only person who could keep the twins in line. An admirable feat as their own mother can't keep them in line.
"Well of course. You wouldn't interest with such things- eh, little Harrikins," Fred countered back.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said obliviously. I can see where this conversation would go.
"Little Harrikins all grown up," George said, ignoring what I said as he rubbed his eyes clearing the tears that was not there, "In seemed like yesterday since our first meeting when you asked us to help you curry your luggage. You were so small back then."
"Yeah," Fred sniffed a fake sob, "But now, look at yourself. You're now chasing a girl. You fill this old man with such pride and joy."
"Grrr," I growled under my throat as I plot murder for both of them.
It was a shame to that I still don't know how to properly hide a body.
I'm just joking of course. I wouldn't really murder both of them.
It was bother.
So forgot what I had said right now.
And if someone questions you about the disappearance of the twins I expect you not to connect their disappearance with me.
Or else….
But seriously, note to self, don't threaten the twins. At least not out front.
"Look, Cho Chang's coming here," Fred pointed out as he seemed to look at something at my back.
"Do you really expect me to fall from such simple trick," I asked both of them.
"Of course not," George scoffed, "the almighty boy-who-lived wouldn't fall for such tricks."
I decided to ignore both of them. I didn't have any counter attacks for now. Even if he teased the twins about the elder chasers, it wouldn't do any good. The twins had managed to score this round.
I decided to ignore them, but instead choose to copy Ron eat obliviously to world around him. It was a wonder how Ron could focus at a single task. But it didn't surprise me since Ron and food combined could only result in one thing. The food would vanish not leaving a trace behind.
But I can't get off this feeling as I watched the twins eyes seemed to follow something or someone with expectations in their eyes as if something exciting was about to happen.
"Harry," an angelic voice called out to me.
My entire body freezes up. Only one person can produce those melodic tones that lighten up my day.
"Harry," the angelic voice said, "Can I talk to you for a moment."
I slowly turned around, holding my breath so that I wouldn't freak out to see the one that needed to talk to me.
"Hello Cho!" I managed to say but my tone ended in a high pitch. Don't blame me. It's just that puberty was setting in. My tone didn't change because Cho was grateful enough to come to our table to talk to me. You got it. It was not related at all.
I fought back a grimace as Cho giggled at my tone. It also didn't help that the twins was snickering in the background as I try my best to tone them down.
"Do you need something? Cho," I asked after I calmed myself.
I watched as Cho spent a few moments to compose herself as she smiled before saying, "Can I talk with you for moment?"
"Of-of course," I quickly said as I attempted to stand up, but unfortunately (or fortunately based from how you looked at it), precisely at that moment—I would later learn that—Ron attempted to reach a roasted chicken away from him in the table. Things quickly escalated at that time, as Ron's attempt in reaching the roasted chicken leg, he had pushed Fred a little bit which in turn pushed me as we were side by side.
Later after learning about this particular event, I thought that it was bit sketchy.
I suspect, it was all Fred doing, but I didn't know if I wanted to beat him to death or thank him.
Because right now…
…
Right now, I was in heaven as I kissed my beloved Cho.
…
During all that commotion with Ron happening at the same I was about to stand up. Fred pushed me a little bit making me off balance as a result I was now hugging and kissing my beloved Cho.
…
I was in heaven…
There was an added bonus to all of it…
Due to the shock of suddenly kissing her, my angel Cho was too shocked to move…
And because of that, the kiss lasted for a few more seconds…
Hmmmm…. Cho's lips taste a bit like strawberries.
I can die happily right now…
Even if a dementor passed overhead, I would great him as we were old acquaintances…
What you expect me to say I would also kissed a dementor thinking that my happiness I'm feeling right now would destroy the dementor?
Are you a fool?
I couldn't die until I was married to my angel Cho...
So stop dreaming…
.
.
.
Sorry, I mean continue reading and please review
o0oOo0o
Merlin….
I can't believe that I actually kissed Cho Chang….
But this proves that the time-slip is real!
Cho Chang will be my bride!
We gonna get married…
Wooohhoooooo!...
But I'm so embarrassed by what I do just now…
I was just lucky that I managed to worm my way to the Gryffindors boys' dorm before anyone managed to tease me…
And it was lucky that we have no more class for the rest of day…
My heart can't take it anymore…
I'm so embarrassed of why I just do…
I want to dieeeee…
No, I can't marry Cho Chang if I die!
I'd rather die if I can't marry her!
Wha
Aren't I going to die either way?
What should I do now!?
I want to dieeeee…
No, I want to kill Ron first before I die….
Tak Tak Tak
What was that?
Tak Tak Tak
I looked at the window and notice that Hedwig was there with a letter in her left foot. She was waiting for me to open the window so she can enter.
I opened the window and let Hedwig in.
Hedwig you really are a gift from the heavens. You always show up at the right moment to provide distraction from some embarrassing thoughts.
I quickly dug up some Owl treats for my favorite owl. Someone would say that I was bit biased since Hedwig was my one and only owl. I would just answer that Hedwig was the best and I didn't need any other owl.
Hedwig raised her clawed feet to hand me the letter which I eagerly accepted. As soon as I get the letter Hedwig chirped-I mean hooted—before flying out of the window to hunt for a prey to feed upon.
I don't need to open the letter to know that my dogfather was the writer of the letter.
Now let us see what my wayward godfather has to say.
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