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CreepyMinerLance's Guide to a Good Vacation

by CreepyMinerLance 0 Reviews

Are you going on vacay and don't know what do do? I can help!

Category: Humor - Rating: R - Genres: Humor - Characters:  - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2014/07/25 - Updated: 2014/07/25 - 465 words

WARNING: NEVER DO THIS STUFF IM TALKING ABOUT! IT MAY SEEM LIKE COMMON SENSE, BUT THERE'S PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO MIGHT THINK THEY SHOULD DO THIS.

What's that? You're going on vacation and don't know what to bring? Well don't worry! Because I have the best packing guide ever! Let's get started, shall we?

Chapter 1: Necessities and other .. Stuff.
Now you have a phone right? What? If you don't just stop reading. Just stop. No. No more. Go hit yourself. Anyway, you need to pack your phone with music and entertainment stuff to keep you busy at/on a plane/car/taxi/boat/jail/hell. Here is a list of necessities.
• one episode of Adventure Tine
• one episode of Regular Show
• one episode of Gumball
• Some cartoon mix up (yay)
• iBooks or google play books
What? You want an Uncle Grandpa episode and you hate everything I suggested to you? Go burn in hell. Anyway, with this stuff on your phone, you won't even pay attention to the plane waiter girls or whateveryoucallhers on the plane! You have all that stuff! What? Your suitcase? Here's a list
Underwear
Tampons
Ladies panties
Your iphone/samsung
Buncha other stuff. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

Chapter 2: Rules and Guidelines
Here are some rules to the plane, and airport. What? You wanted rules to the taxi? Screw you.

Rule 1: Never be unprepared. If you are unprepared, I might end up seeing you and slapping you across the face with my whacking glove.
2: Never wear Pyjamas in the airport. Especially at 3:00 pm. And holding a fish. No. Don't.
3: When the lady on the phone starts calling the people upward, when she calls the business-class-big-shot-people first, complain and say they suck. It'll work. Trust me.
4: When you get on the plane, take the empty first class seat. Nobody will care! And if the person manages to show up, slap them with a slapping glove and tell them to go burn in the 100th class seats located in hell.
5: Don't start humping the seat like a constipated wiener dog. Nobody wants to hear you hyper.
6: DEFINITELY NO SEX! Nobody wants to see your semen shoot up in the air all over the waiter girls face.
7: Never order airplane food. I don't know why, but it isn't that good.
8: When the flight takes too long, just go up to the pilots area and yell at them for being lazy slobs.
9: When you arrive at your destination, kiss the ground being thankful you didn't end up burning in hell.

Chapter 3: Farewell
I hope this guide helped you! No really, I never care enough to say that. Go read Cartoon Mix Up NOW!!

(C) 2014 CreepyMinerLance

Hey everyone! I did this a while back and I thought it would be best if I'd share it!
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