Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Perfect Shades of Indigo
Reviews
Perfect Shades of Indigo
(#) bmatsea 2006-08-10
Well I must say that this story is finally starting to get exciting. I just hope that Maria and Harry are smart enough to have wards in place to keep tracking charms from working at the house. I am really looking forward to the Order’s reaction to Harry’s letter, and the fallout that this will cause. If was a betting man then I would say that Maria and Harry’s secret will come crashing down around them in the next couple of chapters. I also think that Albus is just a bastard enough to use this relationship against Harry to get what he wants.
Oh well getting back on subject. I am looking forward to more of this story, and I hope that you don’t take to long to get the next update written and posted. Please keep it up.
Thank you
BMATSEAPerfect Shades of Indigo
(#) rowinr 2006-08-10
Great so far i am looking forward to when you update this story again.Perfect Shades of Indigo
(#) yojorocks 2006-08-10
Very nice job on the Dursley scene, telling the truth but not all of it if at all possible. Very good job on the interrogation; both the questions and Petunia's answers were well done. Dumbledore's reactions were beautiful, but I'm surprised that he didn't question Vernon (as the most belligerent subject who conincidentally lived at the scene of a violent crime) first, but the scene was well done.
Maria's interlude was well done except for a few tinsy parts: Even if they invest around the world, they live IN BRITAIN. Therefore they calculate things in british currency, which is pounds ("about $300, 000 this year on our $100, 000 investment"->"about £300, 000 this year on our £100, 000 investment" if you will). {See this link for conversion rates in 1996, which I think is the year you want: http://www.x-rates.com/d/GBP/USD/hist1996.html
}. In additon, quadrupling an investment is nigh impossible, but I guess if Peach gave you the stocks it might be reasonable... maybe expand on this a little bit (by even a sentence or two). I don't know the answer to this question, but in the US I don't think that you can invest without being a certain age, and as they had to get all the money to fund these projects and investments, surely they didn't start when they were nine? I mean, a broker isn't exactly going to accept an £100,000 investment from a 13yrold, more or less a 11yrold, so how did they get this part accomplished? Temporary aging potions? Imperius curse? Legal compulsion charms, bribery, some sort of anonymous (yes I know it's misspelled) white envelopes with instructions dropped off on the corner? It's not like you could go on Etrade or anything online at this early point either. Did they hire a lawyer and work everything through some sort of front (probably the most plausable)? In this same section you implied that Harry went to NY or Paris to host night parties; Now I don't know about you, but I have yet to see a 15yrold or younger host a night party at a bar... aging poitions/glamours again? And how on earth did the Dursleys miss him if he has been either locked up (see second summer) or doing chores all hours of the day (see 3rd and 4th summers)? I guess I can reason off sneaking off after chores are done, but leaving only to return at midnight or later for someone that young is just asking for an inquiry and further beatings. I hate to nitpick like this, but you have a great story going and I'm honestly trying to make sure there aren't any plot holes.
Props on solving the problem of communication through muggle means.
Don't you just love how wizards can't think striaght when confronted with stress? Honestly, you would think someone of Albus' power and knowledge could vanish the dirt away leaving only things that shouldn't be there, like a corpse or map or whatnot, instead of digging out handfuls of dirt. Funny quote on Serverus that is going to bite him in the ass, hehe... On a similar note, I understand what you did with the letter, and it was very well thought out, but if he is trying to maintain his cover I CANNOT see him apologizing to Snape, even through someone else by post. It really clashes with the personality he is trying to project, so unless he is unconsciously trying to merge the two... Regardless, everything else so far seems really well done.
One last question that has been bugging me: Does Harry even have a wand anymore? I know got everything burnt, so how the heck can he explain away his WAND? I'm sorry, it's just that he has everything except this wee little aspect thought out that people are going to notice. I can see him being able to pull off Hedwig dying (that reminds me, the Order made it sound like they got ahold of her body, does that mean that Harry can't bury her now? Because that's just going to devestate him...), even losing his invisbility coat or school list, but how is he going to bluff his way out of a wand? Use a conjured/transfigured prop wand that looks like his and do everything wandlessly? He can't exactly call up fawkes, ask for another tail feather, then make his own replecia, nor can he go to Ollivander's without tipping off Dumbledore to the situation. I mean seriously, something that he needs to worry about a bit more than the map at this point as, although he isn't exactly defenseless, it isn't a smart idea to go trapising around without one.
Very nice job overall, please take this as it is meant: constructive criticism to build your story. I love it so far, keep making us think.
Keep up the good work and great update speed.Author's response
Again, one of the best reviews I've ever gotten. You rock beyond all words. If my beta continues to be unresponsive, I believe that I shall ask you to take up the priviledge should you be so inclined. Anywho, all of your points will be adressed and I love that you love it. I really think that you must have some sort of telepathic link to my mind, cuz you've totally pointed out all of the things I've thought about including. puts on tinfoil hat to block mind probes Nuh-un, you won't be getting any spoilers from me! Thanks again!Perfect Shades of Indigo
(#) AnnF 2006-08-10
Went to Mary Sue land here. If the parrot is good enough to predict stocks why didn't it predict Harry's situation? Owning foreign properties so young is over the top. And the numerous lies that will soon be apparent in the letter are pointless. There should be a way to restructure the letter so that Harry doesn't have to lie. And it is over the top for the Order not to believe child abuse, nor for people at the questioning to leave before more questions are asked.Perfect Shades of Indigo
(#) DavidMPotter 2006-08-10
What a brillant story. I assume all Harry's lies will come crashing down. I do hope. I do hope the Dursley's get their just reward!!! I am eager for the next chapter... "Jonesing" for a fix! Please help a suffering addict! ;>)Perfect Shades of Indigo
(#) DavidMPotter 2006-08-10
I love this fic! Please update soon....... I am so addicted!!!!Perfect Shades of Indigo
(#) Shaggy37 2006-08-11
Outstanding chapter, awesome update, that was cool, I can't wait to see the reaction to the letter Harry sent Hermione and the reaction when they find out about who the real Harry is and about all of the other stuff in this story that has happened, do keep up the outstanding work and update soon please:):):):)Perfect Shades of Indigo
(#) ilex 2006-09-22
The Dursleys.........let 'em rot.
I love the idea of Harry having a different look when not under the Glam charm...give Draco a run for his money in the stud department. HA!HA!
COME ON ALBUS! THINK!
HE!HE!HE!
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