Rogues thoughts on Scott and Jean when she tells Scott how she feels. Rogues POV.
He could have said something! Anything would have been better than walking out without a word. I wonder if he realizes that it was his room. If someone had walked in, they would have seen me sitting in his room on the verge of tears. How would that of looked? I'll tell you: not good. I'm in my room now, I wasn't just going to sit in there waiting for him to come back or to get caught. So after he walked out, I followed suit. I didn't follow him, I'm not a stalker, but I did follow his example of leaving the room. I went down to the kitchen and got my self some ice-cream to eat; now I'm not normally the sort of girl to eat when I'm down but Kitty said that it always helps her so I thought I'd give it a try. And guess what? It worked I did feel a bit better and not nearly as worried.
Then I went back to my room, pasting his room I could hear him in there and it sounded like he was pacing. Weird. What would he do? Would he ever talk to me again? Would he tell Jean? Oh crap! What if he told Jean! She'd be as angry as hell; she'd kill me for shore. She asked me once if I liked him (Kitty and Kurt had been dropping hints all day, supposedly for fun) and she quickly caught on. I sat there shocked for, like, five minutes with her watching me intently. Not that she had worked it out, oh no, she was smart and however much I tried I wasn't always good at covering it up. The thing that shocked me was that she actually asked me about it. I mean, she's a pretty straight forward girl but if learned that another girl - particularly one that I lived with! - liked my boyfriend, then I wouldn't just come out and ask. Well maybe I would, I don't know really. I've never been in that situation before as of the fact that I've never had a boyfriend before.... Yeah did that sound as pathetic as I thought it did? Yes? Good, just checking.
Why did I do it!? That's the real question. Why. I mean, he was with Jean now and I'm sort of with Remy - oh damn! What's the Cajun going to think about this! We've only been on a few dates, if you call them that, three I've had to leave for a mission or training and the other few he's been called away for some business with Magneto. When that happened though, I'd see him later that night. Fighting/stopping him and the rest of them but I still got to see him. The nearest thing I've had to a boyfriend, and I tell some other guy that I like him. Not just any guy though. Oh no, I couldn't just tell some guy, it had to be my team leader. The guy I see on a regular bases - early morning, after lunch, after dinner and in between. And that's just the training. We live three doors down from each other! I see him on the way to the toilet! Ok that was irrelevant.
What was I thinking? He is my team leader, one of my best friends - ok only friends - and now I've probably ruined it all. And not just my friendship with him but my friendship with Jean (if you call it a friend ship) and, possibly, Scott's and Jean's relationship. (Not that I'd mind.) Mine and Jeans friendship is sort of one-sided. i.e. she tries to be friends with me and I push her away. I don't hate her, regardless of what some people think. I'm just not friends with her. People ask me why and I cant respond, because I don't know. Honestly, I've no idea. She's smart, pretty, nice and actually cares. I don't really have a reason to be so aggressive towards her; I have more reasons to hate Kitty than I do her. And yet id rather be tortured than be in the same room and make conversation with her. Well maybe I'm exaggerating.
Kitty and the other girls are convinced I don't like her because of Scott. I don't think that's the reason but it would explain a lot. Maybe it's because she's so perfect, but can I really say that? I've no idea what she's been though. Or what she's actually like for that matter. But anyway, if this gets out then the whole team could be screwed. There are no secrets in this house - no privacy at all. So everyone will have their own opinion, people will argue and thus more friendships/relationships are in trouble. Wow, I might have just single-handedly brought down the X-Men. Humans and evil mutants will be coming to shake my hand in the street.
Even if I go to him now and tell him to forget it, it won't help. He'll still know it happened and Jean will find out because of their link. Their stupid, stupid link that connects their minds. Who would want to be connected to a teenage boys mind anyway? We all know what's on their minds. Well Scotts hardly a teenager - he's nineteen but he acts so much older - but he's still male! Which means that he's only thinking about one thing. It's worth a try though. So now I'm walking down the corridor to his room, thirty seconds and I'm already there. Why are our rooms so close! Ok, deep breath. I just knocked on his door. No answer. Another knock and still no answer. I open his door and look in calling his name softly. He's not in there but am I relieved? I should be. Part of me just wants to turn around, run back to my room and never come out. But I can't do that.
So I head downstairs, where would he be about now? Not in the living room or the kitchen. We just had training so the Danger rooms a no. X23's in the gym and never lets anyone in while she's in there.
There's a light coming from one of the rooms down the hall. A study, I think. Ah, yes the one with all the books. I peer in though the door that's been left open slightly and immediately feel the heat of the fire place. Storm's watching TV and Logan's reading.... A magazine inside a book? Ok then. And on the couch- and on the couch are Scott and Jean. Asleep. Scott's arm is around her shoulders and she leaning on him with an open book at her feet. I sigh softly and walk back out and up the stairs. I might discuss it with him in the morning, before it gets out of hand. Or I might just ignore it and pretend it didn't happen, lock my feelings away once again. Actually why should I? I like him so why shouldn't I have him? and if little-miss-perfect likes him so much then she'll have to fight for him.
R and R please!