FicWad

(Tohru sits up in a bed and stretches…)

Tohru: What a good night's sleep! I should make some breakfast for Kagura. She's been such a good host to me. It's only right. (makes her way to the kitchen and takes a bowl from a cabinet)

Kagura: (peeks in the kitchen)What are you doing?

Tohru: (jumps, gasps, and turns to see Kagura) Oh, Kagura, it's just you. You scared me. I was-

Kagura: Is that my bowl? It looks like my bowl. I hope that's not my bowl.

Tohru: Uh, I'm sorry I-

Kagura: It is my bowl, isn't it?! Give it here! Please! I said give it!

(Tohru hands Kagura the bowl and she snatches it away from her)

Kagura: Kyo gave me this bowl. You didn't know that, did you?

Tohru: Uh, no, I didn't know tha-

Kagura: Kyo gave me a lot of things before you two got together. Did he ever tell you about the time he asked me to marry him?

Tohru; I-I think Kyo mentioned it once-

Kagura: So he talks about me?! Does he tell you he loves me, because he does. And I love him back just more than he does me. But the love he has for me is way greater than the love he has for you. (moves closer to her face) I'm sorry, but it's destiny! I am the future Mrs. Kyo Sohma!

Tohru: Hey, how'd you know we were dating? You didn't know yesterday and you didn't leave the house. I don't think… But he said something to me before I left. He said he'd like to date me, but he's afraid he can't keep me happy-what with the curse and all. Well, that's basically what he said. I told him we could find a way to make it work, but he-

Kagura: That's my Kyo!

Tohru: Huh? What do you mean?

Kagura: Don't you get it? He was lying to you! He only told you that he'd date you to spare your feelings! He's nice like that! But he had to come up with an excuse, because in reality he knows we were meant to be! Oh, Kyo! Your kindness knows no limit!

Tohru: Oh, I don't know. He really seemed like he meant it-

Kagura: I can see our bright future so well now I think I need to protect my eyes! (puts on sunglasses) That's so much better!

Tohru: Um, Kagura-

Kagura: "I DO, KYO SOHMA! I DO!" (kisses a picture of a seemingly angry orange cat) Mwah!

Tohru: Kagura!

Kagura: Huh? Oh, how insensitive of me! Are you angry at me? Do you want to scream? Do you hate me now?

Tohru: No, I-

Kagura: Oh, thank goodness! I had hoped we could still be friends. I'm so sorry Kyo doesn't love you, but you'll find someone else. I promise. I'll even help you find someone else. Come on! Let's go! (runs outside)

Tohru: Oh, uh, wait for me!

I figured it'd be best if I just went along with Kagura. I wouldn't want to make her angry. She took me to some store I'd never heard of which is really strange, because it had a ton of customers. Kagura had put on gloves and a large coat, but it was a really hot day so I didn't quite understand why she did it.

Tohru: It's so hot. Why would you put on a big coat like that?

Kagura: It's just a precaution. Do I look silly?

Tohru: Uh, no, I was just saying that I wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable or pass out or anything due to the heat I mean it's really hot and that's a big coat and with the addition of the gloves I figured-

Kagura: Look over there, Tohru.

Tohru: What?

I looked to the area Kagura was referring to and there appeared to be a boy staring in my direction. He started to walk over as soon as I noticed him.

Kagura: (whispers) Say hello.

Tohru: (smiles) Um, hello! I'm Tohru Honda!

Boy: (picks up toilet paper on the shelf behind Tohru) Great, 4-ply.

Kagura: How dare you ignore her! Say hello, dammit! (grabs the boy and throws him into the shelf knocking it over and making a huge mess)

Tohru: You didn't change…could it be because you're wearing those gloves? That's not what you meant by precaution, is it-

Kagura: I have no idea. Let's move on. Hey, you! (points at a random boy) Come kiss Tohru!

Boy 2: I would, but-(sneezes) I have a cold-

Kagura: Don't you dare make excuses! It's hot outside so how could you catch a cold?! COME KISS HER NOW OR DIE!

Boy 2: B-but I-

Kagura: KISS HER, DAMN YOU! (punches him in the face repeatedly then slams him on the floor)

Tohru: K-Kagura, I think you should calm down! People are starting to look over and I think someone just went to get security-

Kagura: OH NO! (kneels by Boy 2) What happened to this poor boy?! Are you alright?! Who would do such a thing to such an unimportant character?! SECURITY! Come quick!

Tohru: I'm not sure you should be calling them! I think we should go!

Before I knew it we were surrounded by security!

Security: Miss, step away from the boy.

Kagura: Of course.

As Kagura was moving someone in security grabbed her hand and she snatched away from them so hard her glove came off! He tried to grab her again and…

Kagura: (now a small boar-she hangs by a hoof in a man's fist) …

It was silent for a few moments. I was scared memories would have to be erased! But then somehow…

Kagura: (shakes in frustration and swings up to kick the man in the face; kicks several times in the air and then gives a him final kick to the ground) Don't touch me! Who's next?!

The rest of security ran, but she was somehow able to catch them all and…knock them out. Everyone in the store that saw just thought they were seeing things or that there was a loose animal in the store, but not many even saw her. And security didn't remember anything when they woke up. Isn't that fantastic? I had put on her glove so she wouldn't lose it. We looked strange. I had the left glove and she had the right. I completely forgot I had in on the whole time though. After that, we went to get pizza together.

Kagura: I'm sorry I couldn't find anyone for you at the store. But I won't stop looking!

Tohru: It's really okay, Kagura! I'm fine with being single or maybe someone will come along-I don't know! (nervous giggle)

Kagura: No girl is ever okay single! We all want someone to snuggle up to at night! (gasps) I know the perfect guy for you! Haru!

Tohru: Haru? Why would you say that?

Kagura: Because he just walked in the door! (points at Hatsuharu who is entering the pizzeria) Haru! Come over here, won't you?!

Tohru: But didn't he say he was in love with Yuki? I don't want to-

Kagura: You still tried for Kyo even though he said he was in love with me!

Tohru: What? No I-I didn't even-he never even said-

Kagura: Don't lie! Stop lying! You said yourself he said we were getting married! That means we're engaged and we're engaged because we love each other and since we love each other he loves me and I love him! There's no one way relationships around here!

Tohru: Okay!

Haru: Hey, Tohru.

Tohru: Hi, Hatsuharu! Is Momiji with you?

Haru: Yeah, he ran in before me to the restroom. (sits down next to Tohru) What are you two doing here?

Tohru: Kagura's trying to hook me up with someone. But I told her I didn't need her to!

Haru: I thought you were dating the cat.

Kagura: Why would you think that?! Who told you that?! Please don't tell me it was Kyo!

Haru: No, Shigure told me. He said Kyo got upset that he couldn't get freaky with Tohru so he said they weren't dating, but they might as well be.

Kagura: That's not true! Tell Shigure he's wrong! He's really wrong! Kyo wants to have sex with me, but I won't let him until after we get married so if you give it up it means you're easy and he's only using you until after the wedding! I'm sorry, but you'd be really stupid to do that!

Tohru: I don't think Kyo would do something like that.

Kagura: How much do you know about Kyo, because I know TONS of things!

Tohru: I think I know a good amount.

Kagura: He likes to sleep to the right on his bed!

Tohru: He has a hard time expressing his feelings.

Kagura: He's the cat of the zodiac!

Tohru: He really hates leeks.

Kagura: He's in love with me!

Tohru: He wants to beat Yuki so bad and-

Kagura: Last week when he came home from school he took the alternate route in order to avoid confrontation with me! It takes him 7 minutes longer to get home that way!

Haru: Uh-

Momiju: Tohru! You're here! You're here! Yay! Aww, I want to sit by Tohru! Can you sit by Kagura, Haru? PLEASE?!

Haru: No. (looks at Tohru) I like being this close to Tohru.

Momiji: WAAAAAHHHHH! I WANT TO SIT BY TOHRU! WAAAAHHH-

Haru: (sighs) …No.

Momiji: HARUUUU!

Kagura: You can sit by me, Momiji. I don't mind.

Momiji: I want to sit by Tohru-

Kagura: You will sit by me NOW!

Momiji: WAAAHHH! KAGURA'S YELLING AT MEEEEE!

Tohru: Kagura, please! Momiji, it's okay-

Kagura: TAKE A SEAT! (grabs Momiji and puts him in a headlock) I said SIT! SIT! SIT, DAMN YOU!

Momiji: AAAAHHHH! TOHRU, HELP!

Tohru: AH! Kagura, stop!

Haru: ...! I'm about sick of this. (stands)

Tohru: H-Haru?

Haru: Momiji. Shut your damn mouth! No one wants to hear you whine all the time! Do us all a favor and grow up! Get some hair on your balls! Stop acting like such a crybaby!

Tohru: Hair on his…balls?

Haru: And you, Kagura! You're just too freakin' loud! Someone needs to muzzle you and teach you obedience! You being so rough makes me question whether you're really a girl or not! Maybe you do need some sex! It might loosen you up! Too bad Kyo doesn't want you! Get over yourself! Know what? Both of you can just kiss my-

Kagura: (grabs Haru and begins hitting him against the window) How dare you disrespect me! I'LL DESTROY YOU!

Momiji: (continues whining) He called me a baby! WAAAHHH!

If anything I was learning new things. I mean, I thought Kagura only attacked Kyo, but apparently that wasn't true. I guess she really is just showing her love. But then why did she attack those people she didn't know at the store? Maybe she did know them and I just didn't know. I don't know… While they were fighting and Momiji was crying I decided to go outside to get a breath of fresh air. And I saw Kyo.

Tohru: Kyo? What are you doing out here?

Kyo: I want you to come back home. I-…I miss you, okay?

Tohru: You do?

Kyo: I just said it, didn't I? (sighs) Look, I just-…I'm sorry I yelled at you and told you I wanted you to leave. I didn't mean it. And when I told you to go I didn't mean I wanted you out the house. I was angry. And not at you. Myself because-…because-…well, Because I-

Tohru: You want to get freaky, but you know you can't touch me?

Kyo: W-w-wha-?! What did you say?!

Tohru: Haru had said that Shigure told him you were upset, because you couldn't get freaky with me like you wanted. That's why you said we weren't dating.

Kyo: What the hell?! That's not true! N-not that I don't wanna-I mean wait, no! What I mean to say is that-…aw, screw it. Nevermind. Just come back home, okay?

Tohru: Okay! But so you know, I didn't need an apology. I shouldn't have kept talking like I always do. But I was going back home anyway. I only stayed at Kagura's place, because she asked me to. I called Shigure to let him know. I wonder why he didn't tell you.

Kyo: What the-you did?!

[FLASHBACK TO YESTERDAY NIGHT]

Shigure: Oh, is that so? You'll be staying with Kagura? I see. I'll make sure to tell Yuki and Kyo! Don't you worry! (hangs up as Yuki walks in)

Yuki: Who were you speaking to?

Shigure: Tohru. She says she's spending the night at Kagura's.

Yuki: Is she angry with Kyo?

Shigure: No, not at all. But let's keep all this a secret from him.

Yuki: Why?

Shigure: Because it'll be funny! (laughs)

Yuki: (sighs as Kyo walks in) Whatever.

Kyo: What's so funny?

Shigure: Knock knock!

Kyo: Seriously?

Shigure: Who's at your door, Kyo? Knock knock! Better answer! It might be Tohru!

Kyo: What?! Shut up! Fine, I'll play this stupid game! Who's there?!

Shigure: (chuckles) Not Tohru!

Kyo: Wha-?! You just said it might be now it's not?! Don't tell dumb jokes like that! It's not funny!

Shigure: Says you. I found it rather amusing.

Kyo: I'm goin' back to my room. (walks out)

Yuki: You're really enjoying this, aren't you?

Shigure: True.

[END OF FLASHBACK]

Kyo: I'm gonna kill him!

Tohru: Oh, no, please don't. I'm sure he just forgot.

Kyo: Forgot, my ass! Wait a second…did you say you stayed with Kagura? She's not around, is she?!

Tohru: Actually, she's in the pizza shop.

Kyo: Let's go before he comes! (holds out a hand)

Tohru: But what about the curse?

Kyo: You're wearing that glove so it's alright.

Tohru: (looks at the glove on her left hand) Oh, right! You really want to…hold my hand?

Kyo: Stop thinking so hard about it! Either take my hand or don't! I don't care! All I know is we need to-

Tohru: (grabs Kyo's hand) …

Kyo: …Uh…okay then…let's go home.

(Kagura stares from the doorway of the pizzeria…)

Kagura: KYO! Is that you, my darling!? I've been so alone! You haven't called me or sent an email. I haven't gotten a postcard or a post on my wall… Hm? (looks directly at Tohru's hand in Kyo's) …

Kyo: (lets go of Tohru's hand and runs) Oh no!

Tohru: W-wait, Kyo!

Kagura: (runs after Kyo) GET BACK HERE YOU TWO-TIMING PUNK! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

I don't really know what to say. I mean I know Kyo likes me. He said so. But can we date when we can't do a lot of the things normal couples do? Maybe…there's a way to negate the curse? I should ask Shigure or…someone like Hatori. He'd probably know.

[The Sohma House]

Kyo: Shigure!

Yuki: Shigure went to the main house to speak with Akito.

Tohru: Why?

Yuki: I'm not sure. But welcome back, Miss Honda.

Tohru: Thanks, Yuki! (smiles)

Kyo: Stop talking to that damn Yuki! Come with me.

Tohru: Oh, okay…

(Tohru follows Kyo…)

Yuki: I hate him… (turns to see Kagura staring in through the window) Ah! Kagura?

[Outside]

Yuki: So you're saying you have a plan, but you need my help?

Kagura: Would you be willing to assist me in retrieving my beloved Kyo?

Yuki: …You have a deal. Let's work together to break them apart!