The Ultimate theory on WTF-happened-to-the-finale?
24 May 2006
Gen - set in S3
"Who the fuck is Akemi?"
Gabrielle turned to see her scroll lying open in Xena's lap. "Oh, well, you know. You fall madly in love with her, but it turns out that she was only using you to visit vengeance on her father, and then you have to kill her, and she asks you to-"
"But I only meet her five lines ago."
"I was just trying to show that you were in an emotionally vulnerable period."
"By wandering off alone with the first skirt I meet?"
"It was for ransom, remember?"
"Alone. That far away from my army."
"You were confident," Gabrielle asserted.
"And intellectually stunted?"
"I just thought that you would have been more innocent a long ago. So there's room for improvement, right?"
Unfortunately undeterred by the flattery, Xena continued, "But the majority of this happens in the present. You'd think I'd be a bit less gullible; I mean, that Akemi girl suddenly tells me that I have to stay dead so that the eaten souls are avenged. She's either lying through her teeth, or being incredibly manipulative. Seems transparent enough to me. And Gabrielle?"
"'Girl with a Chakram?'"
"What? You don't think I can do it?"
"Gabrielle, I heard about the dish."
Xena lapsed into thoughtful silence.
"I take it back about writing fiction."