Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses > Through The Eyes Of...
Duff
We're all sitting around in this fancy ass steakhouse downtown. We're drinking real red wine with a fucking date on the bottle out of actual fucking wine glasses instead of a box. The tables are marble and the chairs are brass. The wals are painted red with black and gold trim. Candelabras sit as center pieces. Our napkins are folded into some oragami shape of some sort. The silverware is fucking real sterling silver. A real crystal chandaleir hangs above our head. I Never dreamed we'd be in a place like this, but here we are. The only reason for this being to wine and dine my Curly Sue before they take him out of here and make him do god knows what.
I stare at the huge steak on my plate. I've barely tasted it. Beside it is a huge baked potato and a fresh salad. Izzy keeps prodding me in the arm to remind me to eat and to fucking smile and act friendly. I just couldn't stop thinking about how this night would be ending. I guzzle down my wine and a waitress refills my glass. I say thanks and try to pay attention to what Axl and Izzy are discussing with these guys who wanted my Curly Sue. Since we don't have a manager Axl and Izzy are doing all the negotiating. But this shit is just for show. No decisions were going to be made until they found out if Slash was worth it.
Slash downs more wine and smiles politely when those motherfuckers eye fuck him. He's doing a really god act of not appearing nervous. "So, you think you guys could get us a few new releases from your label?" He asks.
"Sure thing," One nods at him and motions for a waitress to refill his glass. Of course they wanted him drunk.
"We want full control of our music," Axl says, "We want it how we want it."
"It's a bit premature for all that," Another politely tells him.
Izzy smirks, "Hey the booze is on you so whatever." Axl glares at Izzy and Izzy gives him one of his looks that puts Axl into immediate submission. Izzy sticks a cigarette in his mouth and leans over the table to light it from a candle. "Why dont we just skip this little game of foreplay huh?" He asks staring one of the executives across from him dead in the eye. He drawls slowly from his cigarette still leaning forward. "We all know what you're here for. There's no need to blow smoke up our asses about business. The only fucking business on your mind right now is if this kids mouth is as sweet as it looks." He exhales smoke in his face.
I want to fucking high five Izzy and throw him across this table and give him a big sloppy french kiss. Fuck yeah Izzy! But then I realize Izzy's getting a bit drunk. I know that's not a good thing at all. But at the same time I'm praying for Izzy to do something to fuck this all up. I don't want Slash to have to do this.
The guy has no clue what to say to Izzy. He just looks at him shocked. Izzy looks at his watch. "It's 9:30. You have Slash at Canter's Deli by midnight motherfucker or else you'll find yourselves on the receiving end of us four. Am I clear?"
"Izz," Axl calmly says placing his arm on Izzy's to calm him down. He knew Izzy would do something bad if he didn't get these guys out of here fast. "Why don't you and Slash help Duff to the bathroom, he looks a bit sick."
Yeah I was sick alright, but it wasn't from the fucking booze. I make it to the bathroom and watch as Slash leans into the counter with his head dropped. I hear him give a defeated sigh. Izzy stands back from us and tries not to watch us too closely. It probably brings back memories he would rather forget about him and Axl.
"I think I'm gonna be sick," Slash softly says shaking his lowered head in shame.
I walk up behind him and put my hands on his shoulders. He spins around into my arms sobbing loudly. All I can do is hold him and cry too. From the corner of my eye I can see Izzy punching the wall.
"Its not too late to say no baby," I say pushing the tear soaked curls from his eyes. God I would sell my soul if only he would change his mind about this.
"I cant Duff...I have to...for us, right?" He sniffles and dries his eyes.
"Baby I just want you to know that I love you, no matter what happens, ok?" He nods and sinks his head into my chest. I soothingly hold and stroke him for a moment.what the fuck was wrong with me I should have been stopping this. I should have said hell no. But after all that had happened to this band...Izzy asked a good question the other night, why hadn't we stopped trying? The answer was simple. We wanted it so bad that the cost no longer mattered.
"You gotta dry the tears guys," Izzy says softly with folded arms staring at the floor. "You can't go out there like that."
We take a few moments to pull our shit together in the mirror and wait for the redness to leave our noses. If only I could snap my fingers like Samantha on Bewitched and stop time until I could figure out a way to end this.
"Alright kid," Izzy says reaching into his boot. He pulls out a hypodermic, "It's showtime, you ready?"
Slash nods and holds out his arm.
"Grab his arm," Izzy tells me. I do acting as a tournaquet. Izzy finds where he plans to stick in the needle and looks up at Slash. He gives him about the most tender smile I've ever seen Izzy give another human being before. "In the morning it will all have just been a dream."
Slash nods, "Do it."
Izzy looks back down to Slash's arm. He slides the needle under his skin and gets an instant flashback of Slash's blood in the syringe. He slowly pushes down on the plunger and I watch as Slash's eyes start to get heavy. He glances over at me as I release his arm. "I love you Duff."
"I love you," I smile and try to fight off the tears that want out of me so desperately.
"You ready to get this over with?" Izzy asks returning the needle to his boot.
Slash weakly nods and heads for the door.
"I'll follow them Duff," Izzy assures me, "I'll see you back at Canters at midnight ok?"
I just nod and watch my Curly Sue stagger out the door. I wanted to stop this. I wanted to say fuck it. But I didn't have it in me to start all over again. This was what we all wanted, our shared dream. I just wish it wasn't such a sacrifice.
We're all sitting around in this fancy ass steakhouse downtown. We're drinking real red wine with a fucking date on the bottle out of actual fucking wine glasses instead of a box. The tables are marble and the chairs are brass. The wals are painted red with black and gold trim. Candelabras sit as center pieces. Our napkins are folded into some oragami shape of some sort. The silverware is fucking real sterling silver. A real crystal chandaleir hangs above our head. I Never dreamed we'd be in a place like this, but here we are. The only reason for this being to wine and dine my Curly Sue before they take him out of here and make him do god knows what.
I stare at the huge steak on my plate. I've barely tasted it. Beside it is a huge baked potato and a fresh salad. Izzy keeps prodding me in the arm to remind me to eat and to fucking smile and act friendly. I just couldn't stop thinking about how this night would be ending. I guzzle down my wine and a waitress refills my glass. I say thanks and try to pay attention to what Axl and Izzy are discussing with these guys who wanted my Curly Sue. Since we don't have a manager Axl and Izzy are doing all the negotiating. But this shit is just for show. No decisions were going to be made until they found out if Slash was worth it.
Slash downs more wine and smiles politely when those motherfuckers eye fuck him. He's doing a really god act of not appearing nervous. "So, you think you guys could get us a few new releases from your label?" He asks.
"Sure thing," One nods at him and motions for a waitress to refill his glass. Of course they wanted him drunk.
"We want full control of our music," Axl says, "We want it how we want it."
"It's a bit premature for all that," Another politely tells him.
Izzy smirks, "Hey the booze is on you so whatever." Axl glares at Izzy and Izzy gives him one of his looks that puts Axl into immediate submission. Izzy sticks a cigarette in his mouth and leans over the table to light it from a candle. "Why dont we just skip this little game of foreplay huh?" He asks staring one of the executives across from him dead in the eye. He drawls slowly from his cigarette still leaning forward. "We all know what you're here for. There's no need to blow smoke up our asses about business. The only fucking business on your mind right now is if this kids mouth is as sweet as it looks." He exhales smoke in his face.
I want to fucking high five Izzy and throw him across this table and give him a big sloppy french kiss. Fuck yeah Izzy! But then I realize Izzy's getting a bit drunk. I know that's not a good thing at all. But at the same time I'm praying for Izzy to do something to fuck this all up. I don't want Slash to have to do this.
The guy has no clue what to say to Izzy. He just looks at him shocked. Izzy looks at his watch. "It's 9:30. You have Slash at Canter's Deli by midnight motherfucker or else you'll find yourselves on the receiving end of us four. Am I clear?"
"Izz," Axl calmly says placing his arm on Izzy's to calm him down. He knew Izzy would do something bad if he didn't get these guys out of here fast. "Why don't you and Slash help Duff to the bathroom, he looks a bit sick."
Yeah I was sick alright, but it wasn't from the fucking booze. I make it to the bathroom and watch as Slash leans into the counter with his head dropped. I hear him give a defeated sigh. Izzy stands back from us and tries not to watch us too closely. It probably brings back memories he would rather forget about him and Axl.
"I think I'm gonna be sick," Slash softly says shaking his lowered head in shame.
I walk up behind him and put my hands on his shoulders. He spins around into my arms sobbing loudly. All I can do is hold him and cry too. From the corner of my eye I can see Izzy punching the wall.
"Its not too late to say no baby," I say pushing the tear soaked curls from his eyes. God I would sell my soul if only he would change his mind about this.
"I cant Duff...I have to...for us, right?" He sniffles and dries his eyes.
"Baby I just want you to know that I love you, no matter what happens, ok?" He nods and sinks his head into my chest. I soothingly hold and stroke him for a moment.what the fuck was wrong with me I should have been stopping this. I should have said hell no. But after all that had happened to this band...Izzy asked a good question the other night, why hadn't we stopped trying? The answer was simple. We wanted it so bad that the cost no longer mattered.
"You gotta dry the tears guys," Izzy says softly with folded arms staring at the floor. "You can't go out there like that."
We take a few moments to pull our shit together in the mirror and wait for the redness to leave our noses. If only I could snap my fingers like Samantha on Bewitched and stop time until I could figure out a way to end this.
"Alright kid," Izzy says reaching into his boot. He pulls out a hypodermic, "It's showtime, you ready?"
Slash nods and holds out his arm.
"Grab his arm," Izzy tells me. I do acting as a tournaquet. Izzy finds where he plans to stick in the needle and looks up at Slash. He gives him about the most tender smile I've ever seen Izzy give another human being before. "In the morning it will all have just been a dream."
Slash nods, "Do it."
Izzy looks back down to Slash's arm. He slides the needle under his skin and gets an instant flashback of Slash's blood in the syringe. He slowly pushes down on the plunger and I watch as Slash's eyes start to get heavy. He glances over at me as I release his arm. "I love you Duff."
"I love you," I smile and try to fight off the tears that want out of me so desperately.
"You ready to get this over with?" Izzy asks returning the needle to his boot.
Slash weakly nods and heads for the door.
"I'll follow them Duff," Izzy assures me, "I'll see you back at Canters at midnight ok?"
I just nod and watch my Curly Sue stagger out the door. I wanted to stop this. I wanted to say fuck it. But I didn't have it in me to start all over again. This was what we all wanted, our shared dream. I just wish it wasn't such a sacrifice.
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