Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses > Through The Eyes Of...
Axl
I tossed and turned all night on the hard ass hotel sofa. I just couldn't sleep next to Erin. I didn't trust her. She knew Nikki. And now that I know the fucking bastard I don't trust anyone affiliated with him. He probably got Izzy into shit when he was around just to cause shit. Just like he blackmailed us.
Izzy...there I go thinking about him again. I needed to tell him about my suspicions about Erin. But part of me doesn't have the balls to look at him knowing how bad I hurt him by inviting Erin. But what was I supposed to do? I had to have her around to kill rumors. But my timing couls not have been more fucking off. Izzy had been smack free for a while now, longer than any other stretch. I'm sure that's not the case now. I'll bet he's sleeping off one hell of a binge.
Suddenly everything swirling in my head takes a back seat. I'm worried about him. I should probably check on him to make sure he's ok. I should probably do it before Erin wakes up. I have no clue how to apologize to her for hitting her. I didn't mean to hurt her. I just went off and couldn't control myself.
I quietly get dressed and slip from the room. I walk down a few door and tap on it. It's all silent. I knock louder.
"FUCK THE FUCK OFF!" I hear his drowsy voice from inside.
I knock again. This time in a knock that Izzy knows only I give. Like our secret knock. It takes him a while but I hear him getting up. When he opens the door he's standing there in unzipped pants and socks and nothing more. He looks so hot and I want him so bad.
"Bored of her already?" He yawns.
"No...I...I'm starting to think you might be right about her just playing me. I think she's in on the whole Nikki Sixx thing."
He steps aside and lets me in. My eyes dart to the nightstand and my fears are confirmed when I see a spoon and needles.
"You just couldn't wait to get back on that bullshit, could you?" I shake my head in disappointment.
Izzy pushes his hair out of his eyes with a shrug, "Keeps me warm at night."
I silently sit on the bed. Izzy looks down at me knowing somethings wrong.
"You gonna tell me what happened or bitch about smack?" His voice seems strange. It's detached as usual, but something else is hidden in it.
"I hit her," I nearly whisper.
"Did she hit you?" He asks lighting a couple cigarettes and handing me one.
I just shake my head no and stare at the cigarette in my hand.
"Let me guess...Sixx has it on videotape?" He huffs.
"I don't know...but fuck he might as well, I left her jaw bruised. Everybody's gonna see that shit."
Izzy sighs deeply, "Man I tried to tell you she was playing with your head."
I look up at him, "How'd you know?"
His eyes float away, "I just know these things darlin."
"Dont you find it a little coincidental that I just so happen to meet her at Sixx's party?" I ask.
"Well she knew him, right?" He shrugs.
"Yeah, exactly," I nod.
"Why would Nikki have some agenda then? We couldn't even get club gigs yet."
"But what if he knew we would? What if he helped us just to fucking help himself?" I ask.
"That makes no sense," Izzy drags from his cigarette, "He couldn't have known how we would turn out."
"Who's to say he didn't play a hand in that?" I question.
"He wouldn't go out of his way like that. Why would he want us to make more competition for his band?"
"Because he's bored?" I suggest. "How do we really know his every move hasn't been calculated? How do we not know everyone is on it?"
Izzy looks at me softly and lightly strokes my cheek. "I think you're just having one of those delusional and irrational thoughts you get darlin. Sixx's reasons are simple. He's a lonely junkie...our band has junkies in it, he just had our bassist married to one of his dealers. He thinks we will get out there and play like shit...that way when they play they still look good no matter how trashed they are. But you know what?"
"What?" I shrug.
"Were gonna beat him at his own game and make him regret the day he ever fucking met us," Izzy smiles at me with that devious grin he gets.
"How?" I ask.
"Were gonna steal the fucking show from the headliners," he exhales.
"It's fucking Motley Crue Izz."
"And after they see GNR they'll be saying Motley who?"
I just sigh. "What about what I did to Erin?" I sheepishly ask.
Izzy turns and starts to prep himself a fix. "Leave that bitch to me."
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I tossed and turned all night on the hard ass hotel sofa. I just couldn't sleep next to Erin. I didn't trust her. She knew Nikki. And now that I know the fucking bastard I don't trust anyone affiliated with him. He probably got Izzy into shit when he was around just to cause shit. Just like he blackmailed us.
Izzy...there I go thinking about him again. I needed to tell him about my suspicions about Erin. But part of me doesn't have the balls to look at him knowing how bad I hurt him by inviting Erin. But what was I supposed to do? I had to have her around to kill rumors. But my timing couls not have been more fucking off. Izzy had been smack free for a while now, longer than any other stretch. I'm sure that's not the case now. I'll bet he's sleeping off one hell of a binge.
Suddenly everything swirling in my head takes a back seat. I'm worried about him. I should probably check on him to make sure he's ok. I should probably do it before Erin wakes up. I have no clue how to apologize to her for hitting her. I didn't mean to hurt her. I just went off and couldn't control myself.
I quietly get dressed and slip from the room. I walk down a few door and tap on it. It's all silent. I knock louder.
"FUCK THE FUCK OFF!" I hear his drowsy voice from inside.
I knock again. This time in a knock that Izzy knows only I give. Like our secret knock. It takes him a while but I hear him getting up. When he opens the door he's standing there in unzipped pants and socks and nothing more. He looks so hot and I want him so bad.
"Bored of her already?" He yawns.
"No...I...I'm starting to think you might be right about her just playing me. I think she's in on the whole Nikki Sixx thing."
He steps aside and lets me in. My eyes dart to the nightstand and my fears are confirmed when I see a spoon and needles.
"You just couldn't wait to get back on that bullshit, could you?" I shake my head in disappointment.
Izzy pushes his hair out of his eyes with a shrug, "Keeps me warm at night."
I silently sit on the bed. Izzy looks down at me knowing somethings wrong.
"You gonna tell me what happened or bitch about smack?" His voice seems strange. It's detached as usual, but something else is hidden in it.
"I hit her," I nearly whisper.
"Did she hit you?" He asks lighting a couple cigarettes and handing me one.
I just shake my head no and stare at the cigarette in my hand.
"Let me guess...Sixx has it on videotape?" He huffs.
"I don't know...but fuck he might as well, I left her jaw bruised. Everybody's gonna see that shit."
Izzy sighs deeply, "Man I tried to tell you she was playing with your head."
I look up at him, "How'd you know?"
His eyes float away, "I just know these things darlin."
"Dont you find it a little coincidental that I just so happen to meet her at Sixx's party?" I ask.
"Well she knew him, right?" He shrugs.
"Yeah, exactly," I nod.
"Why would Nikki have some agenda then? We couldn't even get club gigs yet."
"But what if he knew we would? What if he helped us just to fucking help himself?" I ask.
"That makes no sense," Izzy drags from his cigarette, "He couldn't have known how we would turn out."
"Who's to say he didn't play a hand in that?" I question.
"He wouldn't go out of his way like that. Why would he want us to make more competition for his band?"
"Because he's bored?" I suggest. "How do we really know his every move hasn't been calculated? How do we not know everyone is on it?"
Izzy looks at me softly and lightly strokes my cheek. "I think you're just having one of those delusional and irrational thoughts you get darlin. Sixx's reasons are simple. He's a lonely junkie...our band has junkies in it, he just had our bassist married to one of his dealers. He thinks we will get out there and play like shit...that way when they play they still look good no matter how trashed they are. But you know what?"
"What?" I shrug.
"Were gonna beat him at his own game and make him regret the day he ever fucking met us," Izzy smiles at me with that devious grin he gets.
"How?" I ask.
"Were gonna steal the fucking show from the headliners," he exhales.
"It's fucking Motley Crue Izz."
"And after they see GNR they'll be saying Motley who?"
I just sigh. "What about what I did to Erin?" I sheepishly ask.
Izzy turns and starts to prep himself a fix. "Leave that bitch to me."
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