"No, Bren..." I gasped. I was so out of breath I couldn't even finish his name. He looked upset, like a kid who had just been told that he couldn't have an ice pop before dinner. "Not here." I gasp...
Lying Is The Most Fun
Girl I was it look past the sweat, a better love deserving of
Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?
No, no, no you know it will always just be, me
Let's get these teen hearts beating faster, faster.
He smirked at me from across the room. He had been doing that all night. What was this? Why did he keep looking at me like that? And why, every time I caught him looking at me, did my heart flutter?
I mean, even Spencer could feel the tension between us lately, but why is this eating at me tonight? And why does he have to look so goddamned cute when he looks at me? It makes me want to do things I've never done before.
"Hey? Are you alright?" I heard Spencer ask from behind me. I turned around slowly and faced him. I must have been staring pretty hard. I ran my fingers through my hair, making sure to push my bangs over my left eye.
I nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." I lied. I was not fine. I was confused beyond reason about the boy with the black hair and those chocolaty brown eyes. Spencer just rolled his eyes. He knew something was wrong with me, and he probably knew what, but he didn't have any advice for me.
"Well, whatever you do, don't break any hearts tonight, alright." He said, punching my shoulder lightly.
"Tell that to the flirt," I said, looking over to Brendon as he laughed at what the blonde bombshell he was talking to was saying. Spencer looked over at him, then sighed. He was at a loss for words, which was odd for Spencer. He was like, the wise old man; he always had some advice for something. He was wise beyond his years, for some odd reason, and we all valued that.
"Honestly, I don't know what to say." He said, running his fingers through his own hair. I sighed.
"Thanks anyway." I said. He smiled sympathetically and turned back around to talk to Jon.
If I hadn't walked away I would have heard what Jon said to Spencer. "Hey, has Ryan been weird lately, or is it just me?"
"No. He's been weird. He's confused. Then again, he always is." Spencer said back, looking over his shoulder at me as I was getting a drink. Not something alcoholic, just an orange soda. I wasn't one to drink away my troubles, and the fact that I'm only twenty makes it hard to do that anyway.
The rest of the party was kind of lame. I don't even remember why we were there, or what it was for. But I kind of separated myself from everyone else. I ended up wandering outside and sitting on the curb. I finished my soda as Brendon crossed my mind again and put the can on the curb next to me. Not two seconds later, I heard it crunch and I jumped, startled.
I looked over at it; a green and blue sneaker had the can smashed to the ground. I looked up slowly; the green shoe was attached to a black jean covered leg, which was in turn attached to a body wearing a shirt that matched the blue color of the shoe, and a green sweatshirt the same color as the shoe as well. I only knew one person who coordinated the color of his shoes with his shirt.
"Oh. Hey Brendon." I said, looking back down at my own feet. He sat down next to me and I shivered slightly.
"What are you doing out here? Party's inside." He said and I looked up at him. He had a confused look on his face, his eyebrows raised in the cutest freakin' way ever. I smiled at him, and looked back down at my feet.
"I was bored. No one to talk to, so I came out here." I replied lamely. "I was enjoying the silence until you crushed my soda can and quite frankly scared the shit out of me." I heard him laugh.
"You know I like to make an entrance." He said, still chuckling. He picked up the can and looked at it. "Sunkist? Nothing exciting tonight?"
"Brendon, I'm twenty, I can't drink. Neither can you, seeing as you're a year younger than me." I said, shaking my head at him. He was too wild for his own good, but it was funny sometimes.
He shrugged as I looked back towards him. "So, get someone to get it for you. It's not hard. Give them money and tell them what to order."
"Are you trying to get someone arrested!?" I asked him, raising one eyebrow.
"Chill, Ryan. It's not like I've done it. And you could pass for twenty one anyway." He said, tossing the can across the street. It hit the other building and then the ground, skitting over the pavement a little bit before spinning in the spot it stopped in the middle of the street.
"You can't honestly mean that. I can barely pass for nineteen; you think I could pass for twenty one?" I said, shocked. I shouldn't have been, this was typical Brendon behavior, but for some reason I was. Was he trying to corrupt me too? Drag me into his world of no rules? Might be nice every once in a while, but that's not how I work.
"You're right. I look older than you do. You've got a baby face, too cute to look like you're twenty one." He smirked at me and I blushed as my gaze found my feet again.
We stayed silent for a few minutes; I could feel his eyes burning a hole in the side of my head. I was about to say something when he grabbed my arm and pulled me up with him. "Come on, let's get Spencer and Jon and get out of here." I followed him through the crowds of people towards where Spencer and Jon were earlier. But they weren't there anymore. So Brendon turned around and looked around the room.
"Do you see them?" He kind of shouted over the music that was now blasting.
"What?" I asked, only half hearing him. He leaned in to shout it again in my ear. I shivered as I felt his breath on my neck, and mentally slapped myself for that reaction.
"No, not anywhere." I shouted back, my stomach doing flips because of how close I was to Brendon. Why would someone make the music so goddamned loud?
"Then come on, I don't feel like looking for them anymore." He shouted again, causing me to shiver again. It made me wonder, for half a second, if I incited the same kind of reaction in him. But no, my mind corrected me immediately. Brendon was far too confident and cocky to be affected by someone like me, someone who was so quiet and introverted.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd of people, and before I even knew what was going on my entire arm was kind of numb. Why did he do this to me? Did he know how he affected me? Was he just being the tease that he was? Or did he- No. He didn't. He couldn't.
That was what I was thinking until we climbed into his car. Jon and Spencer could get home easily enough. Or, back to the hotel we were staying in rather. They had come in Jon's rental car together, as Brendon and I had taken Brendon's rental car to get here. I looked up at Brendon after a minute, once I had realized that the engine was not yet running. He was just kind of looking at me, this look I'd never seen before glistening in his eyes.
I blinked a few times, and cleared my throat. He kind of shook his head, as if he was shaking something off, and looked down at his lap as he stuck the keys in the ignition. I bit my lip and creased my eyebrows together, confused by what just happened. He turned on the radio loud so we didn't have to talk, not that either of us had anything to say.
I just stared out the window the whole twenty minutes it took him to drive us back to the hotel. It was the most awkward car ride I've ever taken. Of course, we had to stop at every red light on the way back, as if God wanted to prolong the awkwardness for just another five minutes, as if He was wishing that I would go crazy right then and there.
I wasn't really focused on anything, so I didn't notice we'd gotten to the hotel until Brendon cut the engine, and the whirring noise slowly died. I bit my lip as I looked at him, wondering what was going through his mind. He was probably wondering what was going through mine as well.
He was staring at me, one hand was in his lap holding his keys and the other was on the wheel. His eyes were unfocused, but still as intense as ever. I looked back at him, shivering a bit as I noticed how intense his eyes really were. He blinked, and I noticed him suck in his bottom lip a little bit to bite it. I smiled, thinking that maybe I did have the same effect on him if he was acting this way.
He shook his head and blinked, his face flushing as he looked down at his lap. I bit my lip harder to keep from smiling too obviously. This was really starting to get to me, this whole Brendon thing. I mean, why was I attracted to him anyway? Well, besides the fact that he's too cute. And the fact that he cares so much. And the fact that he's got the ability to make root canal fun. And then there's the fact that he's got an amazing personality. And also the fact that-- well... you get the picture.
Brendon started to lean towards the door to open it and get out, but stopped and leaned the other way. God, the kid was quick on his feet. Before I knew what was going on his hand was on my cheek and pulling my face towards his until there was no space left between us. It was a bit of a shock, but Brendon acted on impulse all the time. Almost nothing he did was planned or thought out.
I closed my eyes after a minute as I felt Brendon move his hand from my cheek and to the back of my neck. He did everything he could to pull me closer to him, but the armrest in the middle of the two seats prevented him from doing that.
I could tell he was upset about it. That was probably why he climbed over it and straddled me, all without taking his lips away from mine. I wasn't sure what to do. Brendon seemed like he was having fun though, so I just kind of let him do what he please. It wasn't long before he'd moved from my lips to trail kisses along my jaw and down my neck.
I closed my eyes and bit my lip, leaning my head back against the head rest. His hands had moved and were resting on my chest as he moved back to kiss me again. Just tonight, Brendon had probably been asked out by ten different girls he had flirted with, but ended up making out with his best friend in the passenger seat of his car.
I bit my lip harder to stifle a moan as his hands roamed down my chest. He grabbed onto my shirt and started to pull at it, but I pushed him away. He pulled away reluctantly. "No, Bren..." I gasped. I was so out of breath I couldn't even finish his name. He looked upset, like a kid who had just been told that he couldn't have an ice pop before dinner. "Not here." I gasped again, causing the smirk to return to his face.
"Come on." He said, climbing off of me and back into his seat. He got out of the car and started towards the hotel. I sat there for a minute with my eyes closed and my head against the head rest again, my breath still coming in uneven gasps. What is going on here? Is he serious? After all this teasing, he's serious about this? I guess he's been just as serious as I have the whole time.
I trailed him into the hotel and up to the room he was staying in. Yeah, we all had our own rooms, it was nice to have some alone time, but it was nice for privacy, too, even though we all had cards to each others rooms. He pulled out the card that opened his door. I, being the loser I was, was watching him closely, and almost smiled when I saw how much his hands were shaking. He couldn't even get the card into the slot to open the door. I bit my lip as I smiled and took it from him. He looked at me, his face turning a bit red, then back to the door. I opened it and held it for him.
He laughed nervously and went into his room. I followed him, closing the door behind me. As soon as it clicked shut, Brendon snapped into that mood again, pinning me against the door and attaching his lips to mine. He had one hand on my shoulder and one on the door behind me.
This time I was quick to respond though, putting my right hand on his face and my left hand behind his head, like I was holding him there. He grunted a little bit and I heard him shift and move. He pressed his entire body against me as he deepened the kiss, sandwiching me between him and the door.
His hand trailed down from my shoulder and to the top of my jeans. I gasped, not knowing what to expect he would do next. His other hand joined it and he pulled at my shirt again. I removed my hands from where they were and pulled away from him for a minute so he could pull off my shirt. As soon as it hit the floor, his mouth was attached to my neck again.
I groaned and let my head fall back against the door. My hands were hanging at my sides clenched into fists. Brendon nibbled on my collarbone as my hands made their way to the zipper on his hoodie. I pulled it down and tried to wiggle it off of his shoulders, but he had his hands on my hips, so it just fell down a little and hung there until he realized it and shook it off. He moved upwards, trailing kisses up my neck to my ear. I grabbed at his shirt and he pulled away and took it off, throwing it to the floor harshly before going back to what he was doing.
I felt him smirk against my skin as he kissed just behind my ear and a moan vibrated my throat. He groaned and licked me before just stopping and looking at me. He put his hands on my shoulders and looked at my face. His mouth hung open the littlest bit and his chest was rising and falling quickly. He was still close enough that I could feel his breath on my face, and it made me shiver. He licked his lips, probably subconsciously, and closed his mouth, breathing hard through his nose.
My breathing matched his, but I was sure my heart was beating twice as fast. I'd wanted this more than anything, and here it was, the little ball of passion and energy that was Brendon Urie.
I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat and pushed him backwards gently. I walked over to his bed and sat down at the end of it, lying back with my arms above my head so I could just sit and relax for a minute. But that wasn't Brendon's plan. He sat on top of me again, holding my arms above my head where I'd put them with one hand as he stabilized himself with the other and kissed me.
Not that I'm saying I wasn't enjoying this, but it was a little weird. I mean, I'd had girlfriends before, but this kind of thing had never been so, well, intense. Once again, though, we are talking about Brendon.
His tongue fought its way into my mouth and I couldn't help but moan again. Every little thing he did made me more and more enticed. His hands moved again, letting go of my own hands and trailing across my chest to my stomach. I felt his fingers tracing the lines on my stomach, then start to unbuckle my belt. I arched my back a little as he pulled it off, so it would be easier. Then he started on my buttons. The jeans I had on were tighter than what I'd normally wear, thus making the button a little bit tight.
But he managed to get it, and started to wiggle them off. He pulled away and sat up, straddling my hips as I kicked my jeans the rest of the way off. I had on my socks, we'd both kicked off our shoes right before I sat down on his bed, and boxers now, Brendon had jeans, boxers and his socks. But that was soon to change.
I reached for his belt, but I was too far away. So what do I do? Pull him back towards me and flip us over, so I was on top of him. I pulled off his belt and his jeans, then leaned down and kissed his stomach. Why not, you know? He'd been giving but not getting for like an hour now. It was time I returned the favor. So I kissed his stomach again as I heard him moan then left kisses along his chest and up his neck to his ear. I was lying on top of him, just now noticing how ragged his breathing was.
My chest pressed against his and he grabbed my face again, pressing his lips against mine gently. I shifted my weight and put my elbows on either side of his torso to support myself, bending my knees to lift myself up off of him. I heard him groan, disappointed that I moved away.
He let go of my face again and ran his hands down my front, stopping at the top of my boxers. I shivered, kissing him harder. I felt him pull them away from my body and I moaned into his mouth as he slid his hand down.
Spencer looked at Jon. "Do you see them anywhere?" He shouted over the music.
Jon shook his head. Spencer nodded towards the door he'd last seen Ryan disappear out and made his way through the crowd with Jon behind him. The amount of people at the party seemed to keep growing as the music got louder.
Spencer and Jon got outside, but didn't see Ryan or Brendon sitting there. "So where are they?" Jon asked. Spencer had a good feeling they were together, but wasn't going to say anything. Ryan had told him about Brendon in confidence, and that meant he wasn't allowed to say anything, not even to Jon.
Spencer shrugged. "Must have left or something." He pulled out his cell phone and dialed Ryan's number.
I had left my phone in my pocket, and the dull sound of it buzzing was drowned out anyway. Not that I would have picked it up if I had heard it anyway. I was a little busy at the moment.
Or, Brendon was at least. I was just trying to keep my composure for a little longer. I finally pushed his hand away and flipped the scenario around again, so this time I was where Brendon was and he was where I had been. I pulled at his boxers, pulling them off before doing just what he had done to me.
Spencer hung up his phone and turned back to Jon. "No answer." Spencer said. It just confirmed that Brendon and Ryan were together in his mind, but Jon just thought that he was sleeping.
"Did you try Brendon?" Jon asked, checking the time on his phone. It was only eleven thirty; Brendon was bound to be awake.
'If Ryan didn't answer, and I'm right about this, then Brendon's probably too busy to answer, too...' Spencer said in his head, shuddering at the thought of what his two best friends might be doing at the moment. He sighed, but pulled out his phone and dialed Brendon anyway.
Brendon grunted again, pushing me away a little bit. I sighed. It was silent for a moment, then Brendon's phone started to ring from the floor. He looked down towards the end of the bed where our jeans and boxers had been thrown. He looked back at me, then back at his phone.
"Answer it, it might be important." I gasped. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my breath in much the same way Brendon was. He took another deep breath and climbed off of me to go get his phone. He pulled it out of his jeans and looked at the screen. He hit a button and held the phone to his ear.
"Hello?" He said, the tiniest bit out of breath still.
'Brendon? Where are you?' I heard Spencer ask from the other end. The dull thumping sound in the background told me that they were still at the party, probably standing outside.
"Back at the hotel." Brendon answered. He looked back at me and smiled.
'Is Ryan with you, Brendon?' I heard Spencer ask again. Brendon creased his eyebrows together. I nodded.
"Yeah." He said. "You guys have a ride, right?" He asked. I smiled. He really did care a lot about us (Spencer, Jon and I).
Spencer sighed. 'Alright. And yeah, we have Jon's car. We'll see you guys-,' He paused. 'Tomorrow morning. Good night. And if you see Ryan,' He lowered his voice, probably so Jon couldn't hear him, 'Tell him to remember what I said.' His voice went back to normal volume. ''Night Brendon. Talk to you tomorrow.' Click. Spencer hung up and Brendon put down his phone and looked at me.
"What did he tell you?" He asked, coming back over to sit next to me.
"He told me to make sure to not break any hearts tonight." I said, lying down on my back. Brendon smiled at me and leaned down and kissed my nose.
"You won't break my heart right?" He asked, making the cutest face he'd ever made.
"I'd never dream of it." I said, smiling a little bit. He smiled at me and then kissed me. I always did and always will hate it when he pulls away.
I smiled at him and pushed the covers back to climb under them. Brendon did the same, snuggling up against me as I pulled the covers up to his shoulders.
"Ryan?" He asked a few minutes later.
I hummed a yes to him and looked down to where he was snuggled into my chest.
"I..." He bit his lip. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" I asked.
"For not noticing."
"It's okay. I'm not sure I ever wanted you to notice up until recently. So don't worry about it." I said, hugging him tightly for a second. He smiled and kissed my chest.
"I love you, Ry." He said, and I swear my heart stopped for a second. This wasn't just a one time thing. He wanted to be with me. I stayed quiet, thinking about it for a minute, but snapped out of it as Brendon whimpered.
I looked back at him, tears forming at the corners of his eyes, and scooted down so we were face to face. He had taken my silence the wrong way. I put my hands on his cheeks and wiped my thumbs across the bottoms of his eyes. "I love you, too, Bren. I was quiet cause I was happy, not upset..." I said before kissing him softly.
He smiled contentedly and closed his eyes. I watched him until his breathing evened out, telling me that he was asleep. Almost everything about him had changed, the way he was laying I mean. He had relaxed so much, his hand, which had been gripping my hip, was now limp and just kind of there, like dead weight.
But the one thing that hadn't changed was the smile that was plastered across his face. He looked too cute, as always. I kissed him gently and closed my own eyes, hugging him close to me as I fell asleep.
The next morning Spencer pulled the room cards out of his pocket and shuffled through to find 122, Ryan's room. He put it in, waited for it to click, pulled it out and slowly opened the door.
"Ryan? Brendon?" Spencer asked, stepping around the room carefully. He sighed with relief. There was no one in the room. But that meant they were both in Brendon's room. Spencer rolled his eyes and backed out of Ryan's room, shoving the card back into his back pocket. He fished out Brendon's next, 126. He had 124, between them, and Jon had 128, down one from Brendon.
He walked up to the door and knocked. No answer, he put the key in the door and pulled it out before opening the door slowly. It stuck though; the door caught on something and Spencer couldn't push it any more open. He leaned over, picking up whatever was stuck on the door. He currently held in his hands a blue shirt. There was a green sweatshirt and a white t-shirt on the floor as well.
That was enough for Spencer. He dropped the shirt back onto the floor and closed the door. He decided he'd call Brendon's phone in an hour to wake them up. He wasn't going into that room again, afraid of what he might see.
Jon was standing in front of him when he looked up. "I knew something was odd..." Jon mumbled. Spencer raised an eyebrow at him.
"What are you talking about?" He asked and Jon smiled.
"They both in there?" Jon asked. Spencer sighed and nodded gravely. "I knew it. There were two shirts on the floor when you opened the door. Brendon and Ryan were each only wearing one shirt last night, with the exception of Brendon's sweater." Jon said. Spencer looked shocked.
"You're a little too good at that." Spencer said with a laugh as he stepped back towards his own room.
"You can't keep a secret from Jonathan Jacob Walker. Well, not one as obvious as them..." He said, nodding towards Brendon's room before going back to his own.
Just before Spencer opened his door, he heard Jon speak again. "As long as they're happy, I couldn't care less. Just as long as they keep it in their pants when I'm around..." Spencer shook his head, laughing, as he closed his door behind him. But Jon was right. As long as they were happy, he didn't care if they were together.