You cant be told who you really are, no matter who you ask. Thats something you figure out yourself, and I am learning day by day. When my mother died, I began to wonder what my point in this world...
Crazy Sorta Knowing
When my mother died, I started to question who I really was. I wanted to know what the point of me being in this world was. I wanted to know where I was going, why I was here, and Who I would become. So every morning, I'd look in the mirror, and search my reflection. I'd always see the same thing, a slightly pretty 11 year old girl with long blonde hair and wide blue eyes. My complection was pale, paler than most peoples I guessed. That was all though, that was it. I wonderd to myself, is this really all I am? When I got my letter to go to Hogwarts, I was exstatic. Somewhere I could learn who I was, this would be the place were I could become...me. I had very high expectations for Hogwarts.
When I arrived at Platform 9 3/4 I met lots of people. I'm an only child, so it was very odd and slightly frightening seeing so many kids running around me. Still my heart was full with anticipation as I sat down on the train. A girl came in, she looked to be around my age. I saw the potential for a new friend so I offerd to share my magazine The Quibbler. She gave me a funny look, and declind. I shrugged, thinking it was her loss, I had always loved my daddys' magizines. I tried talking to the girl later, telling her about animals and magical creatures I had heared about, just trying to break the ice. She laughed at me. At first, I didnt understand why. However, after she got up and left me to go find some more Normal company I started to relise she thought I was crazy. It didnt ruin my night, but it did do damage to my feelings. Who wants to be made fun of? I tried to shrug it off, not knowing that I would ender much worse treatment in the years to come.
My name was called, and when I put the hat on my head, I still remember my fright when it started talking to me. I thought a Whizzabob Boeshnizler was inside the hat so it could eat my brains. The moment the thought entered my mind, I heard the hat chuckle. "Do not worry little one," A soft Voice Whispered in my ear," I'm just the sorting hat, I'm going to figure out where you belong, and who you are." I desprately asked him who I was, for that was the question I had wonderd about since I was so little." Please" I had begged the Sorter, " Who am I?" "Hm..." said the hat softly. " I'm afraid I can not say child, for it is up to you to find yourself. But nevermind, we must find you a house, and I know just where to put you wise little one. Good Luck." And with that departing sentance, The Hat shouted "Ravenclaw". I was sad that I didnt get the answer I seaked, but I knew it was up to me to learn who I was, any other way would be cheating. Where was the fun in that anyway?
That year was a lonely one. No one wanted to be friends with a crazy like me, and I was foregotten by everyone. Except, of course, by my tourcherers, the Slytherins. I never did like the Slytherins, but Pansy Parkansin was the worst. I dont anger easily, and I always keep my emotions behind a mask, but that girl always brought the Witch out in me. I remember one time, during my 2nd year, she had followed me down a hallway, talking about what a moron my father was. I was used to this, so it only left a dull throb in my heart, instead of a stabing feeling like it did the first time someone said something about him. And them... Pansy mentioned my mother. At first, I didnt even relize she had said it. And then, it sunk in. " Your Mother got what was coming to her. Did she kill herself because she had a freak like you for a daughter?" I stopped, dead in my tracks. How dare she. How dare she say something like that about my mom? My mom, my sweet, loving mother that was always there for me? My mom who had cruley been torn from me when a spell she was working on backfired, taking her from us? How. Dare. She. I flipped around to look at her, drawing my wand with such a speed that any other time, it would have shocked me. But I was to angry, to mad to even think. I pend her to a wall, showing more strangthe than I could have possibly posessed at 12 years old. My wand at her throte, her eyes were wider than even mine. I glared, and now that I think about it, I was probably quite terrifying at that moment. She shook, showing her fear of me, and, to my shame, I rather enjoyed it. My voice came, to my shock I was able to form a sentance, despite my being so angry. " You can make fun of me Parkansin," My voice deep with pain and sadness, " You can even make fun of my daddy, but if you EVER make fun of my mom again, I will make you wish you had never been born." It was rather dark for me, but at that moment I really didnt care. She nodded her eyes never leaving mine, and as soon as I took a few steps back, she bolted, fast as lightning, and as I imagine, as far away from me as she could get. She never did mention my mother again, and any time anyone ever came close to the topic while making fun of me, her eyes would widen with a small spark of fear, and she would change the subject.
The next year, my third, was boring, still filled with lonely walks at night, and friendless days at school. I started to wonder if anyone would care for me, and then.... I met Ginny. Ginny was kind, she had helped me with a couple of scary Slytherins. We became friends of a sort. Her personality was so easy to get along with, and though I knew she found me strange, I think she thought of me as a friend aswell. Sometimes we would get together and do homework, sometimes just get together and talk. It didnt happen very often, but it gave me hope that someday, I'd have friends. Maybe someday people would like me for me, crazieness and all. Hope was all I could ask for.
Fourth year came, and it was then that I started to come out of my shell. I met Harry Potter, boy-who-lived. He was more than that though, I could tell from his eyes. There was something powerful behind those green globes. There was pain, lots of that, and anger, but there was also kindness, compashion, and love. I knew I could expect great things from this one. Later that year I was one of the few to acompany him to the Department of Mysteries. He lost his Godfather, and I saw a bit of Harry die. I felt pain for him, because I knew just how hard a death could hit someone. I wished I could help him, but we were not close, so I decided it was none of my buissness. One day when I was putting posters up for my missing things I met him in the hallway. He looked lost, an sad, and scared. I didnt think I had ever seen him that scared. Not even when we were stuck fighting Death Eaters. I knew he was missing Stubby... I mean Black, so I told him about my mom. I didnt really think I was going to at first, but he just looked so lost. He was suprized, I think, but we formed a bond after that. Not romantic ( I thought Ginny was more his type) but friendly. That made the year worthe it for me. Sometimes I even think talking to him made him feel better, but I didnt kid myself that I was that inportant.
Year Five came, and most of it was spent helping Harry. Him and Ginny (finally) got together. I think I was the only one not to be surprized by that one, I couldnt see why though, their had been no doubt in my mind it would eventually happen. When I had said this to Ginny, she had looked at me surprized. " Why do you say that? What was so obvious?" She had asked me. " I dont know," I replied, " You could see it in his eyes, he always loved you Gin, and I think you always loved him too." She had looked at me in shock. I was kind of wierded out by my own forwordness, but it was true, I knew deep down they had been perfect for each other since I saw them talk to each other. That was just the way that it was. That was also the year that I started to notice Neville. I had seen him before, of cource, last year with the who Dom fieasco, but the funny flip flop of my tummy seemed unimportant. Besides I was Loony right? Who wanted to know me? But anyway, this year I really started to notice Neville. He wasnt the most popular, but he was so sweet, and sometimes, I thought I had cought him looking at me once... or twice. Then, something even I didnt see coming happend. We were walking down the hall, just the two of us (this happend often when Ginny and Harry, and Ron and Hermione were together). So, we were walking, and then he stopped to look at me. I felt my heart beat speed up when I looked into his eyes. The way they glitterd and sparkled were just like the way Harry and Ginny's looked when--- and then he kissed me. Fireworks danced about me. The world seemed to stop, no one else existed. I kissed him back, my hands slowly wrapped around his neck. And then all to soon it had to end. Taking deep breathes, slightly light-headed from lack of oxygen, I stared into his deep chocolate brown eyes. Yes... it was there that look Ginny and Harry always had, that look Ron and Hermione always had, and that look my mom and dad used to always have. I smiled, as did he and we walked together in silence. That year was a very good one.
Sixth year has come now. This year we have worked hard, harder than any other. Training, for this was the year Harry was to meat Voldemort in battle, to fufill his destiny. Yah, Harry told the six of us the Prophasie. We all ( Ron, Hermie,Ginny,Neville, and I) to fight with him to the bitter end. And we did. Many fell in the final battle, including enemies and housemates of mine. We stood tall though, giving Harry the strengthe he needed to destroy Lord Vodemort. And destroy he did. I was there to watch as he through the final blow to Tom Riddle, striking him through the heart with Gryffindors blade.
Now, slowly, I make my way up to join him, limping over with Nevilles help. I see Ginny, Ron, and Hermione there aswell and I take my place next to Neville in the circle of friends. In the circle of My Friends.
I am the crazy little girl.
I am the Lonely Ravenclaw.
I am a best friend.
I am a hero.
I am Luna Lovegood.
A/N Hey all, dont know what made me write that, but it was just an idea that came to me. Listen.... I know everyone says this BUT please please please review. I've never had a review before, SO I NEED SOME!!! Plz? Plz plz?