Ryan enjoys the softer side of Ana...
Ryan watched her lift her glass to her lips as she looked around the restaurant. She saw him watching her and she smiled at him. Ana couldn't have appreciated his gentle manner or his consideration any more than she already did. She wanted to tell him that, she wanted to explain to him how nice he made her feel but she couldn't do that without explaining how out of place she felt too. She felt a little like she had been placed on the set of a movie sat sharing good food and drinking wine with a perfect gentleman.
"You must get taken advantage of all the time." Ana spoke but as she heard herself she thought she could hear the nerves in her own voice.
"What do you mean?" Ryan just stared at her.
"I mean you're so..." she pulled a face at him. "Nice." She finished making it sound like a terrible trait to have.
"Usually that would be a compliment." Ryan replied looking back down to his food.
"It is." Ana then said. "It is." She repeated realising she needed to let her guard down and relax a little more or she would end up offending him.
"You know that afternoon on the tour bus?" Ryan started. Ana felt embarrassed just thinking about it but she nodded. "I'm sorry if I didn't explain myself very well."
"Hmmm can we not talk about that?" Ana replied. She hid her face a little with her hands to show she was embarrassed.
"Well I just wanted you to know it wasn't a rejection."
"So how do you like New York?" she made him raise an eye brow with her sudden change of subject.
"Ana did you hear me?" he insisted.
"Yes." She whined at him her body language closing off a little.
"How come you can talk to me on the phone but now I'm here you won't talk to me?"
"I'm talking to you." She replied with some hostility. They were both quiet for a while and continued to eat their food.
"I'm sorry." She spoke and their eyes met across the table. "I'm finding this difficult." She looked worried and Ryan tried to ease her concerns with a kind smile.
"I know its cool." He told her. "What do you want for dessert?"
Ryan drank some wine and watched Ana finish her dessert. He watched her pull the spoon from between her lips and he wanted to kiss her, he watched her flick her hair over her shoulder and he wanted to touch her.
"Pete told me you don't have family in L.A." Ryan was brave in bringing up this subject but he really thought it was about time she shared some personal stuff with him. All the talking they had done over the past weeks and still he knew nothing about her, somehow she managed to keep it all on a superficial level. He noticed she didn't look up and he figured she was about to ignore him.
"Did he?" she spoke.
"Yeah." Ryan replied. "So what happened then? To your family?" she raised her eyes from the empty plate in front of her and for a moment she looked quite menacing and Ryan considered he had asked the wrong question.
"It's not very interesting." She told him.
"It is to me." He watched her take a deep breath seeming almost irritated by having to answer him.
"I got taken into care when I was about nine because my mum couldn't look after me." She began. Ryan nodded with a gesture for her to continue. "She was..." Ana thought for a moment. "A nut job." Ana laughed.
"She had dependency issues." Ana smiled a fake smile at Ryan.
"Alcohol or pills?" he asked and she seemed surprised that he understood immediately what she had meant.
"Both." She told him making eye contact with him.
"My dad's an alcoholic." Ryan explained surprising her with this information.
"It's not fun is it?" he added.
"No." she shook her head. "Not much fun at all." They looked at each other both of them feeling a little deflated by the conversation. Ana felt strange to have shared something like that with someone but quite relieved at the same time.
Ryan took Ana's coat from her shoulders and hung it carefully on the back of the chair. They had returned to Ryan's hotel after dinner. Ana stood facing him and he thought how different she was now to the girl he had met a few months ago. How beautiful she looked staring up to him like she was frightened of what would happen next.
"What are you thinking?" she spoke softly as he stepped closer to her. Ryan reached out and touched the edges of her cardigan. He smiled. "Tell me." She asked.
"I'm thinking I'd like to continue undressing you." He told her and she took a deep breath to calm her nerves. He slipped her cardigan off of her and dropped that onto the same chair. "What are you thinking?" he then asked as she started to unbutton his shirt.
"I'm thinking it's been a long time since anyone made me feel this nervous."
"I'm nervous too." He said and she was grateful Ryan wasn't too arrogant to admit that to her.
"Feel my heart, its racing." She took his hand and placed it on her chest.
"Wow." He laughed. "I can feel it." He held her stare a while before he kissed her gently. Ana continued to unbutton his shirt until it fell open and she smoothed her hands over his chest.
"You're skin's so soft." She whispered to him in between some kisses.
"I've been dreaming about this." He told her undoing the thick belt around her waist and letting it drop to the floor between them. "Just being alone with you." He continued.
"Me too." Ana replied tugging the sleeves of her dress down her shoulders and arms forcing it to slip to her waistline where it was stopped by her hips. They kissed some more and when Ryan heard the familiar purr that she made he began to get impatient.
"May I?" Ryan reached around to unclasp her bra which he managed first time making her smile to herself.
"May I?" Ana asked with a smirk as she unzipped his trousers for him.
"You weren't so polite before." Ryan reminded her and she laughed at the thought. This had been what Ryan wanted all along, the privacy to enjoy one another, the time to satisfy her properly. He loved undressing her slowly, just calmly peeling the clothes away until she was stood in front of him naked waiting to be touched.
Ryan reached out to her and slid his hand around the back of her head pulling her to his lips gently. He kissed her so slowly she could feel every tiny movement he made and her hands soon found his skin. Ana wasn't used to quite such a sensual experience but she was happily enjoying every second of it. They made their way to the bed and embarked on another entanglement of kissing and stroking. Ryan was so tentative with her and so eager to please her with every touch she thought maybe she'd been missing out on something. She rolled Ryan onto his back on the bed and giggled when he rolled her straight back again.
"So you're in charge this time?" she smiled at him shivering slightly from the cold air on her skin.
"Under the covers?" he suggested.
"Uhu." They giggled together like children as they scrambled naked into the bed and under the sheets immediately pressing themselves together again. Ana's hands found Ryan already hard and as she fondled him carefully he pulled the sheets up completely covering them both. "It's like a secret world." She told him. He was concentrating far too hard on her touch to reply but his eyes opened in expectation as she began to kiss down his stomach.
"Oh shit." He felt her mouth around him and he couldn't imagine a better place to be at that moment.
Ana was starting to think she had never enjoyed being with anyone as much as she was enjoying Ryan. As she kissed her way back up his stomach he smoothed her hair back from around her face and kissed her.
"Aren't you going to ask me?" he said smiling at her. She didn't understand straight away but then she laughed at him.
"Do you have any condoms?" she asked with a smirk.
"Well what do you know!" Ryan faked a surprised expression. "I do." He told her.
"Actually I'm not sure I want to do it now anyway." She lied.
"You!" he grabbed her, rolled her onto her back and looked down at her pretty face. "Lie to me." He teased reaching to the cupboard beside the bed. He fumbled for a moment and produced a shining sealed condom. "Shall we?"
"I think we should." Ana replied. "If not purely in the name of research." She added.
"Research?" Ryan opened the condom.
"Yes." Ana took it from him. "I'm gagging to research you Ryan Ross."
"Wow I don't think I've ever been researched before." He laughed.
"There's a first time for everything."
Ana had always been willing to try new experiences because she liked to know what things felt like, good or bad. She had been hoping that being with Ryan would be nice, hoping it would feel good and make her happy but she hadn't expected it to feel like a first time. She was a little overwhelmed at the calm and sensitive way in which he was handling her, surprised by the intensity of something so composed. For Ana sex had always been about the initial lust, the urgency and the rush to satisfy. For Ryan sex was about a connection with someone, a desire for them, a longing to thrill them and make them happy.
"Are you ok?" Ryan asked her as she looked up at him.
"Oh god yes." She replied wondering why guys never usually looked her in the eye when they had sex with her. Ryan had eased his pace and was really slowly moving himself in and out of her keeping eye contact the whole time. Ana couldn't believe how good that felt and she realised what he was doing. "You're making love to me." She suddenly said making him smile but then he frowned at her.
"Did you think I wouldn't?" he asked. Ana just shook her head at him. "Aw." He kissed her.
"Thank you." She spoke in a whisper as she closed her eyes and reached up to hold the head board tight. His hips began to meet her with a little more force when he saw her back arching and her eyes opened to look up to him. She felt so good he didn't want to stop but he knew he couldn't possibly hold out much longer. Ana dropped her hands from the headboard onto the pillows, pleased when Ryan clasped both her wrists. "Oh God." She moaned softly.
"Shit." Ryan leant his head back and his eyes closed tightly as he came. "Shit!" he said it like he'd just stubbed his toe and his body went rigid. Ana reached out for him pulling him down into her arms feeling his body relax and hearing him let out a really quiet laugh. "Oh God." He sighed as he kissed her neck. "Thank you so much." He added.
Ryan lay motionless on his side watching Ana sleep and his mind kept informing him that he had just made love to her brining a smile to his face. He couldn't believe that annoying girl, that strange girl that kept invading his space a few months back was the same girl lying beside him. He wondered if she could have changed that much or if she just shed that faÃ§ade she used to hide behind. He felt happy to be there with her, happy to be sharing a bed with her and more than happy to have shared himself with her. He pondered their situation and wondered if she would consider returning to Vegas with him. He thought about the future and how he could sustain their relationship with such a crazy lifestyle. Then he thought about her apartment, her job, the drugs and it made him anxious to imagine maybe she wouldn't want him. Maybe this was all she would want from him. She opened her eyes almost on cue.
"What time is it?" she asked.
"About four." Ryan answered.
"You're not sleeping?" she reached to touch his face and he kissed her hand.
"I did for a while." He told her. "God you're so beautiful." He added.
"Stop it you'll give me a rock star sized ego." She grinned at him.
"So was your research useful?"
"It was." She laughed. "This is going to sound really gay." She then said.
"Go for it." Ryan replied.
"No one's ever made love to me like that before." She told him and he felt like she'd just given him something special. "Seriously though that was kind of special for me."
"That makes me happier than I already was." Ryan told her. "I didn't think that was possible."
"Oh my god we're so cheesy." Ana laughed.
"Yeah but we just did it for the first time." Ryan replied with a smile. "We've got an excuse to be cheesy tonight."
"You're right." She replied.
Ana held Ryan's gaze for a while just taking him in, little things like the flecks of light brown in his eyes and the tone of his skin close up. He returned the sentiment by gazing back at her wondering whether he could fall in love with her.
"What are we going to do?" he then asked her not being able to contain himself any longer. He wanted to know, he wanted to know how she felt about what had happened.
"Let's have sex again." She smiled.
"That's a fantastic idea." He said. "Not what I meant though."
"I know what you meant."
"How do you feel about it?" he ventured.
"I don't know." She told him breaking their eye contact to lie on her back.
"Well do you want to see me again?" she suddenly turned to face him.
"Of course." She said maybe a little insulted he thought otherwise.
"Do you want to try and have a relationship with me or...." He kind of shrugged not really knowing what the other option might be.
"Try?" she smiled at him. "How do you try to have a relationship?"
"I don't know." Ryan felt annoyed that she wouldn't be serious with him. "I just mean it would be hard with me being away a lot with the band." She nodded.
"And the other option?" she asked.
"I'm not sure what that is." He said honestly. "I guess it's where we just see each other when we can."
"Where's the difference?" Ryan shrugged his shoulders again.
"You mean we just hook up for weekends like this?" she said.
"That's an option I guess."
"So what do you want?" she turned to face him again.
"I think I just want you." He looked a little worried and she smiled at his expression before she leant forward and kissed him.
"And I just want you." She told him. "I want to continue my research on Ryan Ross." She smiled kissing him some more. "I have a feeling there's a lot more to discover."
"You're very perceptive Ana..." he stopped. "I don't even know your surname."
"Well Miss Kingsley." Ryan's eyes twinkled at her as they caught the dim light from the bedside lamp. "Let's get back to some more research."