Categories > TV > Joan of Arcadia > Adversary

Chapter Two

by carlanime 0 Reviews

The first episode for an imaginary season three; six chapters. Joan/Ryan. As Helen struggles with questions about why evil exists, Joan begins to understand that she has the ability to shape her in...

Category: Joan of Arcadia - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama - Characters: God, Grace Polk, Helen Girardi, Joan Girardi, Lilly Waters, Luke Girardi, Ryan - Warnings: [!!!] - Published: 2005/07/06 - Updated: 2005/07/06 - 449 words

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Cute Guy God walked up behind Joan as she stood in line in the cafeteria, trying to locate her already-seated friends. "Have something healthy, Joan," he said casually, adding an apple to her tray.

Joan rolled her eyes. "What, have you been talking to my mother or something?"

Cute Guy God smiled without answering.

Joan lowered her voice. "I need to talk to you. I think I have an idea about how to approach the whole-" she waved one hand, the tray teetering slightly in the other, "--Ryan thing."

"You'll know what to do when the time comes," Cute Guy God said calmly, but Joan failed to look reassured.

"Maybe I will if you help me," she said impatiently. "You know, if you maybe talk to me ahead of time?"

"I did want to talk to you, Joan," said Cute Guy God cheerfully, "about sex."

Joan froze, looking utterly appalled, and then glanced around to make sure no one was listening to this. "Um, no, you really don't have to," she said, holding up her free hand, palm out. "My mother? Had that talk with me years ago, and really," she shook her head, "I don't need to have it again. Particularly with you. No offence," she added hastily.

Cute Guy God looked unperturbed. "What do you think sex is for, Joan?" He asked.

"Will you keep your voice down?" Joan said irritably. "Um, reproduction, I guess...Isn't that what you said?"

"Did I say that?" Cute Guy God asked, looking mildly startled.

"The whole "be fruitful and multiply" thing?" Joan said. "Isn't that what you said?"

"There are lots of ways of being fruitful, Joan," Cute Guy God said. "Writers have fruitful imaginations; workers enjoy the fruits of their labours." He reached over and picked up her apple, tossing it in the air and catching it. "The fruit depends on the seeds you plant."

"So now we're talking about sex and...seeds?" Joan said, looking perplexed and slightly revolted. God waited patiently. Joan sighed, and tried to find a point. "Um, okay, seeds. So I should be planting some kind of seeds? Because I haven't had major success with the gardening thing."

Cute Guy God smiled, and gently placed the apple back on Joan's tray. "Seeds are opportunities, Joan-chances for growth. Provided, of course, they put down healthy roots."

As Cute Guy God turned and walked away Joan yelled in frustration, "Wait! What's that got to do with sex?" She laughed self-consciously as she noticed a couple of nearby students had turned to stare at her.

"Dude," said Grace from behind her, causing Joan to jump, "who the hell is that? And were you just hitting on him?"
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