Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Sophomore Slump...or Comeback of the Damn Century

you only hold me up like this 'cause you don't know who i really am

by killxsmile 4 Reviews

three words can change everything.

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama, Romance - Characters:  - Published: 2006/10/20 - Updated: 2006/10/21 - 1607 words

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Author's Note: Hoping you guys will like this one.

shoutouts and puppies go out to the following:
kissxthexbullet
PiecesInMe
FrostedGlass
imogen93
sing4me09

You guys make me smile.

c h a p t e r THIRTEEN
{ you only hold me up like this 'cause you don't know who I really am

*
Peter's POV

"Comfy?" Emi asked.
"Yes." I was sitting between her legs, leaning against her.
"Good." She wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her chin on my shoulder. We were sitting on my couch, watching Arthur.

"I LOVE this episode. That little boy James is too cute."
"Cuter than me?" I asked.
"Nah, that's unpossibibble." We've been dating for around 5 months now and she still manages to make me smile at simple things like that.

"I just had to pick the one boy in class who won't kiss me!" DW yelled.
James kissed her cheek. "Can I go now? I left my juice box on the radiator."


"That was cute," I admitted. Ever since I started watching the show with Emi, I've been hooked.
"Mhmm." She kissed the side of my neck.
"What do you want to do now?"
"Iono." She flopped over sideways, bringing me with her. "I like just laying here...with you."
I turned around so I was facing her.
"Me too." We looked at each other for a few seconds. She leaned her forehead against mine. I tilted my head up so our lips met.

"I love you, Emi."
"I...I have to go." She quickly got up and grabbed her hoodie. Definitely not the response I was expecting.
"Emi, wait!" I followed her out the door, but she just quickened her pace and soon we were found ourselves running.
I caught up with her half way down the block. "Hey." I put my hand on her shoulder. I stood there, searching her eyes for a clue to why she ran.
"Pete, just..." She turned around. "Just go back home."
"But-"
"Just go...please." A tear ran down her cheek. "GO!"

Confused, I walked back to my house and slammed the door.

A barrage of emotions hit me as I flopped onto my bed. I couldn't begin to grasp what had just happened. I couldn't be angry at Emi for her reaction-- her words, or lack thereof, were honest... I knew those three words would change things, but I had no idea to what extent. When I looked into her eyes, she looked so...lost. And I was to blame.

I just laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Fuck. I'm an idiot."

*
Emily's POV

"Fuck. I'm an idiot," I thought out loud.

Pete said he loved me and what's my reaction? I run away, then scream at him after he tries to talk to me. God, I'm a fuck up.

After freaking out on Pete, I ran to where I usually do: the swings. I must have looked crazy--hysterically crying while walking to the park, but at that point, I didn't care.

I sat down on the swings and the thinking began. It's not like I didn't love Pete, because I did...I do. It's just...it's just when he said it, something clicked in my brain. Dams burst and memories flooded --all the times my father said that to my mom...to Ben...to Jess...to me. Then how he up and left us.

As much as I wanted to hate my dad's guts, I just couldn't. Even now, there would be times that I'd hear someone park in the driveway and I'd look out the window, expecting to see him walking to the door, suitcase in hand.

I can't forgive him for what he did.

I can't hate him for leaving.

I'm stuck somewhere in the grey area in between. Whoever said there's a thin line between love and hate definitely knew what they were talking about.

Sometimes I'd try to figure out what I'd say if I ever saw him again. /Why'd you do it? Do you ever think about us? Are you happy now?/All of those times I just ended up more confused about how I felt. Sometimes Ben would walk in on me crying, and it killed me knowing that he saw me like that.

I sat on the swings, staring at me feet and pushed off the ground every so often. To get my mind off things I reached into my hoodie pocket and pulled out my iPod. I put in my ear buds and sang along as 'Breathing' played. I never really thought about the lyrics until now.

How am I supposed to feel about the things I've done?
I don't know if I should stay or turn around and run
I know that I hurt you things will never be the same
The only love I ever knew I threw it all away


"Pete hates me, now my iPod does too." I switched the song to Mustard Plug's 'Mr. Smiley.' "Ska wont let me down." I continued to sit there as February's cold weather did its damage.

*
Peter's POV

While I was in my room thinking about what unfolded in my living room, my cell started ringing.

"Hello?"
"Peter? It's Ms. Ikuhara. Is Emi there?"
"No, but she was here a few hours ago. Why?"
"She's not here, and she's not at Patrick's. I'm worried because she was supposed to come home an hour ago."
"Have you called her cell?"
"Yes, but it goes straight to voicemail."
"I have a feeling where she is."
"You do?"
"Yeah. I'll go check it out."
"Thank you."
"No problem."

I pulled my hoodie on and headed to the park. It was dark out, but I saw her on the swings as I parked my car. She had her iPod on, so she didn't notice as I sat down on the swing next to her.

"Why she had to go
I don't know, she wouldn't say
I said something wrong
Now I long for yesterday..."


I silently listened as she sang along to the Beatles. After the song finished, her eyes met mine. She took out her ear buds and slipped her iPod into her pocket.

"Hey."
"How'd you know where to find me?"
"You said that you came here to think..."
"Oh...you remembered."
"Yeah."

At about this time, an awkward silence set in. I sat there and stared at my feet.

"Why'd you come this far to break up with me?" she asked.
"Who said I wanted to break up?"
"Why else would you want to talk to me? I screamed at you after you said you loved me..."
"I wanted to see if you were okay...I'm sorry that I upset you earlier." She stopped swinging and looked at me.
"Emi, what's going on?"
"You're supposed to hate me, not apologize for being sweet. Don't you see how fucked up that is? How fucked up I am? I yell at you, and you come here and act like everything's okay...Can't you see you deserve better than this?"

I got up and wrapped my arms around her. "Pete..." She tried to push me away, but I wasn't going to let Emi tear herself down like that. She cried into my chest.

"I'm sorry..." she softly said. "It's just that when you said it...I remembered how my dad said that to my mom every day before he left for work. Then one day after school, I came home and my mom was crying. She said that my dad left, and wasn't coming back....God, look at me now. I'm crying like a fucking baby..."

I wiped away her tears with my thumbs. "Look at me. You are not a screw up. I don't know what's going through your head, and I'm not going to run some bullshit and say that I do. But I'll be here for you if you need to talk... I love you, okay?" We stood there for a few minutes, just holding each other.

"Thank you...for everything," she said, quietly.
"C'mon, lets go. Your mom's waiting for you." She nodded and I opened the passenger's side for her.

Neither of us said a word, The only sounds were Emi's occasional sniffle and the sound of my engine almost giving out.

"Tissues are in the glove compartment."
"Thanks." After getting a few tissues, she turned the CD player on, breaking the silence.

"I like where we are
When we drive in your car
I like where we are
Here

Cause our lips can touch
And our cheeks can brush
Our lips can touch
Here

Where you are the one, the one that lies close to me
Whispers 'hello, I've missed you quite terribly'
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place I can be but here in your arms"


As the refrain came up, I saw her looking at me in the corner of my eye. Then she shifted her gaze to the floor. I took her hand in mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze. I meant it when I said I loved her

I pulled into her driveway, parked, then walked her to the door.

"Good night, Emi." I kissed her forehead. "I'll call you tomorrow." I gave her a hug and started walking toward my car.
"Pete, wait." I turned around. She wrapped her arms around my waist and kissed me, then looked into my eyes. "I love you too." I smiled and our lips met again before Ms. Ikuhara opened the door.

"Peter, thank you for bringing Emi home."
"No problem, Ms. Ikuhara.

*
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