- I really enjoy the idea of a Ronso potion that keeps you warm. They'd have to have something like that probably, living up on Mt Gagazet. I love how Kimahri sees right through Yuna's attempt to seem grateful for the disgusting potion.
I really enjoy the legends that Kimahri recalls. All of them seem very believable. I also love how he admires Yuna's beauty in a detached sort of way.
I like the way that Kimahri resents Yuna's father for leaving her. That's very sweet.
I love all of the customs you describe for the Ronso. I find them fascinating.
I didn't expect that Kimahri would love her! But you handle this relationship so carefully that I find it believable.
I enjoy the idea that Kimahri is worries about what Auron might know, being dead.
The way you describe the garments of the Ronso is so wonderful. Your attention to detail throughout this piece is admirable.
And oh my. Tears in my eyes, from Kimahri claiming Yuna as his people. That's so touching.
I love the conflicting emotions you bundle up in the last paragraph. It's very realistic that a person can feel all of those things simultaneously. This is such a moving and well-crafted story.
"But it was more for him than herself, so forced a note of graciousness into her thank you." Add "she" before "forced."
"As she always did when she quoted her father, Yuna lowered and softened her as she intoned 'the noble folk', something of a subconscious mimicry of him." Add "voice" after "softened her."
"His people had long since stopped their nomadic ways to settle as guardians to the holy mountain." You're missing a period before "His."
- I meant to review this before and didn't because I'm forgetful like that, but I reread it today because it's on my Favourite Stories list. I found this story very moving, and the last paragraph especially poignant. You have an amazing insight into Kimahri's character.
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