Harry Potter has been trained by a certain Dark wizard since he turned five. What happens when now fifteen years old Harry arrives his first time to Hogwarts to get his OWLs?
(#) whatareyouevensaying 2006-11-05 08:39:58 AMAn inconclusive, but still impressive ending. This chapter had a couple of errors around the middle (namely the repetition of two paragraphs).
Author's responseI really don't know how that got there. About the end, I had no choice but to leave it open. Thanks for reading! Random Shinobi
- Hi, You know (i know you might have heard this heaps at DLP.net) this story was really good before you got ginny involved in it. I say you could have kept her powerful and all that shit but training her?? I won't go on about how much I hate the slut but its just illogical to have her trained when he needs to learn heaps more by the sounds of it. Though having her powerful is one thing but also having her nearly beat harry undermines the fact he's trained for most of his life and judging from it she's only had four years of possible practice without any guidence.
Anyways to sum the whole story up though (before hogwarts) it was really good the battle scenes were highly entertaining and somewhat realistic considering they were his first real fights outside training. I liked how you didn't write this as Harry vs the world sort of thing and your takes on the make up of the magic world kept it fresh. And the whole inner struggle with killing and no angst to follow was a pretty good side conflict.
It was a good story over all, I don't know about following the sequel with the whole Ginny thing though.
(p.s. Good work with uncle slayer)
Author's responseYou should read my respond at DLP. Anyway, Harry has been 'almost beaten'in nearly every fight. Thanks for reading! Random Shinobi
- Good story!
My greatest concern with this work is your disuse of the word "the" in the beginning of sentences (example, "The Headmaster ..." not "Headmaster ...")
Eagerly awaiting the sequel!
Author's responseI know my article usage sucks. That is simply because my mother's language doesn't have articles, and so they are completely foreign linguistic construct to me. I have tried my best to place them correctly, but obviously it wasn't enough. No wonder really. Thanks for reading! Random Shinobi
(#) Sirius_Rulez 2006-11-25 08:36:05 PMThis story is really Good! can u plz write the 2nd part of the Triligy cauuse it sound really good and where abouts would i find the 2nd triligy if u were to finish and post it.
heres my addy so u can email the story to me or if u rather didnt than thats fine too but it would probably b hard and it would be really good to see more of Harry's Uncle, Danile Evans.
Author's responseThe sequel will be posted here. I have already written about 10000 words, but I cannot say when it will be ready or when I will start posting it. Rest assuredly, Daniel Evans will play an important role in 'Shadows Rising'. Thanks for reading! Random Shinobi
(#) salamangkero 2007-01-07 10:40:48 PMthis is pretty good. very original. like you, i've had it up to here with soul bonding, super harry, etc. your story is really refreshing, please post the continuation soon....
Author's responseI have always tried to avoid clichés. Of course I didn't manage to avoid them all, but I feel like I did pretty good work in that aspect. The sequel is progressing quite slowly at the moment as I've had (and still have) lots of trouble with chapter two. Chapters one and three are finished. All in all, I have written about 14000 words. It seems that the chapters are going to be considerably longer than in 'The Path Chosen', but I doubt anyone is complaining... It will take some time before I start uploading the sequel and I should probably get a beta first as some people have been commenting my article usage. Thanks for reading! Random Shinobi
- Well that sucks! I want to know what happens next! I really hope that you are working hard on the next …chapter or book ficlet whatever you call it. I enjoyed your story for the most part except your use of wards is very skewed, as well you hacked what a werewolf is. It is very clear in the books that Muggles can become werewolves. It is also very clear that wards prevent physical passage hence the name “ward”
You used Muggle devises to make wizards seem stupid and make Harry seem cleverer when it would have been better to have Harry know how to use blood Runes like his teacher had to bypass the wards at number 4 or some other method of curse breaking.
Also, you had Harry at Hogwarts to supposedly take his OWL Tests yet he never even took them that may be a small point but it is a little annoying.
I like how Ginny seems to be getting in over her head, not that Harry seems evil, but its like she is a bit innocent. Which I like she seems to be following Harry for his good looks and blind trust normally in fan fiction she is all that and more which I hate, this you could actually form a relationship between the two and it could almost seem natural.
I also like that Sirius Black seems ready to enter the picture. Your character of the cable or whatever could use some fleshing out. We get that they are there but is seems Harry barely knows them. As it is we the readers really know nothing about them, it is kinda disappointing.
One last thing, why is it Tonks is always the one who is raped? It wasn’t so bad in this story because she was unconscious, but I swear it is always Tonks. Hell even in your other dark Harry fic its Tonks who is raped. Why? What did poor Tonks do to anyone? It is hardly ever Ginny or Hermione, unless Harry is attracted to them as more than a friend.
Still I am glad Tonks rape scene was not more graphic I don’t like that.
Author's responseWell, the functions of Hogwarts' wards were never really revealed in the books and, unless I remember wrong, Sirius was able to just walk into Hogwarts through the same hidden passageway that Daniel used. What comes to St. Mungos' wards and defensive spell, books tell nearly nothing about them and so I simply created my own. And as I didn't want to overuse runic magic, I made Harry use muggle methods to overcome them. Personally I think it was quite plausible.
You seem to have messed the timeline... It's over a half year to OWL exams.
About Tonks, well, it's sort of occupational hazard for her. She's the only female Auror we know and thus it's no wonder that she's the one who gets raped.
The Cabal is kept mysterious for a reason. Eventually the shroud of mystery will be lifted, but as for now, there is no need for readers to know. And of course they could use some fleshing out, they have had hardly any screen time as it is. Hell, you haven even seen all Cabal members...
The sequel is on it's way. Three first chapters are already being betaed...
Anyway, thanks for reading!