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The Adventures of the Fullmental Alchemist
3 reviewsWhat happens when Roy pushes Ed over the edge? well, he's about to find out when a series of pranks begin to happen to him, including the color pink and a blind date.
1Funny
Ch 1- The Last Straw
"THAT'S IT!!!!" bellowed Edward as he stormed through the halls to his military dorm, "I'M NOT TAKING THAT POMPUS COLONEL BASTARD'S SHIT ANY MORE!!!!"
He had had enough. The little episode that happened not five minutes ago, immediately before Ed had exited Mustang's office in pure rage, had been the last straw. Ed would not, could not take being poked and picked at by Roy's sick sense of humor any longer. The last straw had gone and broke our favorite alchemist's back.
*flashback*
Mustang looked over the piles of paperwork on his desk at the vertically challenged hothead in front of him. It was so easy to set the little guy off, and these days, it was perhaps the only source of entertainment East City held. Granted, the women in this dustbowl were not as pretty as those in Central...or Riza for that matter, though he'd never admit it to anyone.
The Flame Alchemist shook his head; nearly all the paperwork in front of him was from this kid. He didn't see how it was possible, but he was definitely more trouble than he was worth. Getting an idea, a sly smirk lightened on his face.
"You know, Ed, the stacks of paperwork you create are taller than you."
To his surprise, the response was calm and well collected.
"Maybe if you actually did some it'd shrink."
"Maybe if you were taller you could have escaped all the trouble you've caused in the past three years."
As expected, the reaction was different this time.
"WHAT DOES MY HEIGHT HAVE TO DO WITH THE FACT THIS COUNTRY IS MESSED UP!!?!!"
"I don't know Ed, you tell me."
"It doesn't, that's the point."
"The point is I can't afford any more trouble from you."
"Why, is it breaking into your mid-morning, mid-afternoon, and after-lunch naps?" the alchemist smirked.
"The fact that I need those naps is also your fault, Fullmetal."
"How the hell do you figure that!?!" The look on Ed's face suggested Roy to be crazy.
"All my energy these days is being used covering up your ass."
"YOU KEEP SENDING ME ON CRACK-POT MISSIONS!!!! YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THEY'VE BENIFITTED!!!!"
"Well, Fullmetal, you're stupid enough to believe me."
Ed stopped yelling for a second to think about what Mustang just said. His face was flushed from the heat of battle and his breathing was uneven. The realization clicked and his face screwed into a frenzy.
"-THE FUCK!!?!!?!"
Mustang almost laughed out loud, but of course, fifteen years being in the military had taught him to control his emotions. Perhaps Ed would learn it someday as well...but for now it was amusing to push him over the edge. (Poor Roy doesn't know what he's getting himself into!! ^_^')
"As a State Alchemist, you should be able to differentiate 'crack-pot information' from genuine information. I must say, Fullmetal, if this had been an assessment, you'd have failed."
"YOU'VE BEEN SENDING ME OUT KNOWING I WOULDN'T FIND THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE!!?!!"
Roy couldn't help letting a grin escape.
"MUSTANG YOU ASS!!!!!"
*end flashback*
The look on Edward's face now as he sat on his bed, contemplating the proper ways to get back at his sworn enemy, could not be described as anything less than psychotic.
"Now, what to do..." he pondered evilly.
"THAT'S IT!!!!" bellowed Edward as he stormed through the halls to his military dorm, "I'M NOT TAKING THAT POMPUS COLONEL BASTARD'S SHIT ANY MORE!!!!"
He had had enough. The little episode that happened not five minutes ago, immediately before Ed had exited Mustang's office in pure rage, had been the last straw. Ed would not, could not take being poked and picked at by Roy's sick sense of humor any longer. The last straw had gone and broke our favorite alchemist's back.
*flashback*
Mustang looked over the piles of paperwork on his desk at the vertically challenged hothead in front of him. It was so easy to set the little guy off, and these days, it was perhaps the only source of entertainment East City held. Granted, the women in this dustbowl were not as pretty as those in Central...or Riza for that matter, though he'd never admit it to anyone.
The Flame Alchemist shook his head; nearly all the paperwork in front of him was from this kid. He didn't see how it was possible, but he was definitely more trouble than he was worth. Getting an idea, a sly smirk lightened on his face.
"You know, Ed, the stacks of paperwork you create are taller than you."
To his surprise, the response was calm and well collected.
"Maybe if you actually did some it'd shrink."
"Maybe if you were taller you could have escaped all the trouble you've caused in the past three years."
As expected, the reaction was different this time.
"WHAT DOES MY HEIGHT HAVE TO DO WITH THE FACT THIS COUNTRY IS MESSED UP!!?!!"
"I don't know Ed, you tell me."
"It doesn't, that's the point."
"The point is I can't afford any more trouble from you."
"Why, is it breaking into your mid-morning, mid-afternoon, and after-lunch naps?" the alchemist smirked.
"The fact that I need those naps is also your fault, Fullmetal."
"How the hell do you figure that!?!" The look on Ed's face suggested Roy to be crazy.
"All my energy these days is being used covering up your ass."
"YOU KEEP SENDING ME ON CRACK-POT MISSIONS!!!! YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THEY'VE BENIFITTED!!!!"
"Well, Fullmetal, you're stupid enough to believe me."
Ed stopped yelling for a second to think about what Mustang just said. His face was flushed from the heat of battle and his breathing was uneven. The realization clicked and his face screwed into a frenzy.
"-THE FUCK!!?!!?!"
Mustang almost laughed out loud, but of course, fifteen years being in the military had taught him to control his emotions. Perhaps Ed would learn it someday as well...but for now it was amusing to push him over the edge. (Poor Roy doesn't know what he's getting himself into!! ^_^')
"As a State Alchemist, you should be able to differentiate 'crack-pot information' from genuine information. I must say, Fullmetal, if this had been an assessment, you'd have failed."
"YOU'VE BEEN SENDING ME OUT KNOWING I WOULDN'T FIND THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE!!?!!"
Roy couldn't help letting a grin escape.
"MUSTANG YOU ASS!!!!!"
*end flashback*
The look on Edward's face now as he sat on his bed, contemplating the proper ways to get back at his sworn enemy, could not be described as anything less than psychotic.
"Now, what to do..." he pondered evilly.
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