This is a poem I wrote about something I struggled with for a long time...the title should give you a clue.
Crying Tears Of Blood
The pain inside was overwhelming,
Slowly taking over me,
I can't remember when it started,
It all came on so gradually.
Day by day I struggled on,
Knowing that I couldn't take it,
All the time I felt so trapped,
But then I realised I could escape it.
At first it was nothing more than a scratch,
That didn't even break the skin,
But soon I found that wasn't enough,
And my will to fight was growing thin.
So deeper and deeper I had to cut,
Letting the blood wash away my pain,
It soon became a full-blown addiction,
From then on nothing would be the same.
I tried and tried so hard to stop,
But in the end I'd always cave,
I couldn't for long deny myself,
The stinging pain I'd come to crave.
Everyone was at a loss,
They didn't know what to do with me,
They didn't understand I couldn't stop,
My friends thought I'd gone crazy.
Outside I was dignified,
But inside I was dying,
I was too weak to put up a fight,
Too numb even for crying.
So every day and every night,
I'd lock myself away from everyone,
To let the tears I couldn't shed,
Flow in crimson down my arm.
Life felt so empty and pointless,
I just wanted to end it all,
But somehow I kept clinging on,
I couldn't let myself fall.
Then one day I realised,
That I couldn't keep going like this,
Sooner or later I had to change,
Crawl out of this abyss.
It took me so long to overcome,
And I didn't always succeed,
But the more I resisted the more I found,
I no longer felt that need.
My body is laced with scars,
But I know they'll fade eventually,
I've stopped and I'm never going back,
Not while there's any strength in me.
The scars aren't only physical,
I've been hurt deeper than you could know,
But I'm going to keep on fighting,
I'm not going to let go.